• Please be sure to read the rules and adhere to them. Some banned members have complained that they are not spammers. But they spammed us. Some even tried to redirect our members to other forums. Duh. Be smart. Read the rules and adhere to them and we will all get along just fine. Cheers. :beer: Link to the rules: https://www.forumsforums.com/threads/forum-rules-info.2974/

Tidbits AKA Groaners

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If life deals you lemons, make lemonade.

If life deals you tomatoes, make Bloody Marys.
 
Why did God create man before woman?

Because He did not want any advice.
 
[emoji38][emoji12]
ac5bafecef280ce9831812771a212d5b.jpg
 
Starting today!
I'm going to live everyday like it's my last.

Who would clean the house on their last day on earth?
 
When the fellow called a motel and asked how much they charged for a room, the clerk told him that the rates depended on room size and number of people.

"Do you take children?' the man asked.

"No, sir" replied the clerk. "only cash and credit cards."
 
You might be a Redneck if ...

A night on the town includes city jail.

All of your relatives' cars have "Tag Stolen" signs in the rear window.

All of your relatives would have to die to wipe out illiteracy.

All your tupperware is old butter containers.

All your wall decorations have horns on them.
 
my wife gave me a new "T" shirt which proclaims

"Fishing saved me from being a Porn Star, Now I'm just a Hooker"
I thought it was Punny.
 
I keep getting pop-ups that promise....;

End ED tonite!!!

Try this simple trick

Wives are Shocked!!!


so I clicked on it...?:unsure:


Wait for it​

Worked for me!!!!:clap::clap::clap:


digiSE264_Nicole_Scherzinger.jpg


 
I keep getting pop-ups that promise....;

End ED tonite!!!

Try this simple trick

Wives are Shocked!!!


so I clicked on it...?:unsure:


Wait for it​

Worked for me!!!!:clap::clap::clap:


digiSE264_Nicole_Scherzinger.jpg


Nicole vs Viagra.
Hmmm.. might work.
:th_lmao:
 
A friend of mine said she doesn't understand cloning.

I told her that makes two of us!
 
Ordered a Fitbit today.
Visa called to see if someone stole my card !!!!
 
Ever notice that people who spend money on beer, cigarettes and lottery
tickets are always complaining about being broke and not feeling well?
 
I am glad that I don't have to go out and hunt my food.

I don't even know where sandwiches live.
 
A blonde told the auto parts clerk, "Do you have a longer dipstick for a Toyota?"

The puzzled clerk responded, "Why do you need a longer dipstick?" She said, "Because this one no longer reaches the oil!"
 
I want to say to the person who affixed the word coffee to the word cake.

Justifying the eating of cake for breakfast,

I salute you hero of the unhealthy!
 
Why were stock analysts created?

To make weather forecasters look good.
 
If it's really a supercomputer, how come the bullets don't bounce off when I shoot at it?
 
When we are young we sneak out of the house to go to parties.

When we are old we sneak out of parties to go home.
 
Me: It's not how many times you fall down. It's how many times you get up.

Police officer: That's not how a field sobriety test works.
 
When does a joke become a dad joke?

When it becomes apparent.
 
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