• Please be sure to read the rules and adhere to them. Some banned members have complained that they are not spammers. But they spammed us. Some even tried to redirect our members to other forums. Duh. Be smart. Read the rules and adhere to them and we will all get along just fine. Cheers. :beer: Link to the rules: https://www.forumsforums.com/threads/forum-rules-info.2974/

Tidbits AKA Groaners

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With great power

comes great electricity bills.
 
Sign On a Maternity Room door:
"Push! Push! Push!
 
Got an email today saying,

"At Google Earth, we can read maps backwards!"

I thought, that's just Spam.
 
Sign At the Electric Company:
"We would be delighted if you send in your payment on time. However, if you don't, YOU will be de-lighted.
 
Sign At the Electric Company:
"We would be delighted if you send in your payment on time. However, if you don't, YOU will be de-lighted.
 
Being raised in farm country.

I can say I've never tipped a cow.

However, one has never served me food!
 
I can't remember how to write 51, 6, and 500 in Roman numerals.

I AM LIVID!
 
I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't need the freakin' class!
 
I just saw on NBC Nightly News that the NFL is considering hiring a mother of three to be a referee.

I'm sure they wanted someone who's dealt with whining, constant bickering, and giving time-outs.
 
Have you ever noticed that getting "suspended with pay".

Only happen in government jobs?
 
Two old women were sitting on a bench waiting for their bus. The buses were running late, and a lot of time passed.

Finally, one woman turned to the other and said, "You know, I've been sitting here so long, my butt fell asleep!"

The other woman turned to her and said, "I know! I heard it snoring!"
 
If people from Poland are called Poles,

Why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
 
The person sitting next to me on a flight was a woman. Ever the charmer, I used one of my pick-up lines on her.

I asked, “Does the airline charge you extra for sitting next to good-looking men?”

“Yes,” she replied, “but I wasn’t willing to pay.”
 
The judge reviews the divorce case very carefully and issues his judgement.

"Mr Smith, I am going to give your wife $750 a month."

Mr. Smith's replies, "That's very nice of you, judge. And every once in a while I will send her a little extra too."
 
I just sold a lawnmower on Craigslist today.

My neighbor will not wake me up early on a Saturday mowing again.
 
It doesn't matter how much I eat.

My shoes still fit.
 
A friend of mine told me there is life outside the internet.

I told her to send me the link please.
 
I think Apple has been brain-washing us for years, making us believe that their products are the best.

Just think about it, the first thing they teach us in school is that "A" is for Apple, and the best letter grade is an "A".

Well played Apple........ Well played!
 
I hate when I think that I have bought organic vegetables.

Only to get home and find out

There just regular donuts.
 
I've started reading a romance novel in braille.

It's a touching story!
 
My doctor told me that the lever on the side of my recliner,

is not an exercise machine. :eek:
 
What do you call 10 liberals standing ear to ear?

A wind tunnel.
 
Someone said my clothes look gay today.

I told them my clothes came out of the closet this morning!
 
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