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Truly Tasteless Memes II

Not a meme but I believe this joke belongs in this section because of its content.

Sam has been in the computer business for 25 years and is finally sick of the stress. He quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Vermont as far from humanity as possible.

Sam sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise it’s total peace and quiet.

After six months or so of almost total isolation, he’s finishing dinner when someone knocks on his door. He opens it and there is a big, bearded Vermonter standing there.

“Names Enoch… Your neighbor from four miles over the ridge… Having a party Saturday… thought you’d like to come.”

“Great,” says Sam, “after six months of this I’m ready to meet some local folks. Thank you.”

As Enoch is leaving he stops, “Gotta warn you there’s gonna be some drinkin’.”

“Not a problem… after 25 years in the computer business, I can drink with the best of 'em.”

Again, as he starts to leave Enoch stops. “More ‘n’ likely gonna be some fightin’ too.”

Damn, Sam thinks… tough crowd. “Well, I get along with people. I’ll be there. Thanks again.”

Once again Enoch turns from the door. “I’ve seen some wild sex at these parties, too.”

“Now that’s not a problem” says Sam, "Remember I’ve been alone for six months! I’ll definitely be there … by the way, what should I wear?

Enoch stops in the door again and says, “Whatever you want, just gonna be the two of us.”
 
A chicken farmer went to a local bar, sat next to a woman and ordered a glass of champagne.
The woman perked up and said, 'How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too!'
'What a coincidence' the farmer said. 'This is a special day for me. I
am celebrating.'
This is a special day for me too, I am also celebrating,' said the
woman.'
'What a coincidence!' said the farmer. As they clinked glasses he
added, 'What are you celebrating?'
'My husband and I have been trying to have a child and today my
Gynecologist told me that I am pregnant!'
'What a coincidence!' said the man. 'I'm a chicken farmer and for
years all of my hens were infertile, but today they are all laying
fertilized eggs.'
'That's great!' said the woman, 'How did your chickens become
fertile?'
'I used a different cock,' he replied.
The woman smiled, clinked his glass and said, 'What a coincidence!'
 
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