Tidbits and Groaners II

[NorthernRedneck]

An Indiana man followed this Chinese spy balloon for 194 miles before he realized it was bird shit on his windshield

 

[NorthernRedneck]

Safety tip!

If you are ever lost out in the woods, build a survival shelter. A liberal will be around shortly to collect taxes on it.

 

[NorthernRedneck]

 

[bczoom]

 

[NorthernRedneck]

 

[NorthernRedneck]

 

[NorthernRedneck]

My buddy decided to make
sure his wife woke up
with a Big Smile on her face this morning. Now he can't have Sharpies in the house anymore.

 

[bczoom]

 

[NorthernRedneck]

 

[NorthernRedneck]

 

[NorthernRedneck]

I'm not a magician but I once turned a back rub into two kids and a mortgage.

 

[NorthernRedneck]

 

[NorthernRedneck]

 

[NorthernRedneck]

What did one cheek say to the other?

"Together, we can stop this shit"

 

[bczoom]

 

[NorthernRedneck]

Police can confirm that the man who last night tragically fell from the roof of an 18th-floor nightclub... was not a bouncer.

 

[NorthernRedneck]

Scientists have just discovered a fossilized dinosaur fart.

They say it's a blast from the past.

 

[NorthernRedneck]

 

[Doc]

 

[NorthernRedneck]

My Wife Was Sad, So I Showed Her My Boobs. Apparently, That Doesn’t Work Both Ways.

 

[Lenny]

911: 911, What's your emergency?

GEORGE: My wife fell out of the window, so I need an ambulance.

911: What is your address?

GEORGE: 1234 Eucalyptus Street.

911: Would you spell that?

GEORGE: Give me a couple of minutes and I'll drag her over to Oak Street