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Humor, sarcasm, irony, and other fun stuff
- Thread starter 1boringguy
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Two Irishmen are hammering floorboards down in a house.
Paddy picks up a nail, realizes it's upside down and throws it away.
He carries on doing this until Murphy says, Why are you Throwing them away?
"Because they're upside down!" says Paddy.
"You daft twat" replies Murphy, "Save 'em for the ceiling."
Paddy picks up a nail, realizes it's upside down and throws it away.
He carries on doing this until Murphy says, Why are you Throwing them away?
"Because they're upside down!" says Paddy.
"You daft twat" replies Murphy, "Save 'em for the ceiling."
In Missouri on Old Route 66.
..... Been there twice. Got a couple t-shirts.
Dad used to live in Hollister. (Now resides at the National Cemetery in Fort Smith).
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A cold seat in a public restroom is unpleasant. A warm seat in a public restroom is worse.
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Apparently, an RSVP to a wedding invitation “Maybe next time,” isn’t the correct response.
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Don’t irritate old people. The older we get, the less “Life in prison” is a deterrent.
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I asked my wife if I was the only one she had ever been with. She said yes, all the others were nines and tens.
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I want to be 14 again and ruin my life differently. I have lots of new ideas.
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I told my wife I wanted to be cremated. She made me an appointment for Tuesday.
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My wife asked me to take her to one of those restaurants where they make food right in front of you. I took her to Subway.
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I picked up a hitchhiker. He asked if I wasn’t afraid, he might be a serial killer? I told him the odds of two serial killers being in the same car were extremely unlikely.
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I went line dancing last night. OK, it was a roadside sobriety test... same thing.
.
Apparently, an RSVP to a wedding invitation “Maybe next time,” isn’t the correct response.
.
Don’t irritate old people. The older we get, the less “Life in prison” is a deterrent.
.
I asked my wife if I was the only one she had ever been with. She said yes, all the others were nines and tens.
.
I want to be 14 again and ruin my life differently. I have lots of new ideas.
.
I told my wife I wanted to be cremated. She made me an appointment for Tuesday.
.
My wife asked me to take her to one of those restaurants where they make food right in front of you. I took her to Subway.
.
I picked up a hitchhiker. He asked if I wasn’t afraid, he might be a serial killer? I told him the odds of two serial killers being in the same car were extremely unlikely.
.
I went line dancing last night. OK, it was a roadside sobriety test... same thing.
