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Tidbits and Groaners II
- Thread starter Doc
- Start date
NorthernRedneck
Well-known member
When two vegans get into an argument, is it still called a beef?
NorthernRedneck
Well-known member
I got bit by a mosquito last night.
I wonder if it's still drunk?
I wonder if it's still drunk?
shortarcflyer
Well-known member
NorthernRedneck
Well-known member
NorthernRedneck
Well-known member
NorthernRedneck
Well-known member
Free Marriage Tip:
Don't ask your wife when dinner will be ready while she is mowing the lawn.
Don't ask your wife when dinner will be ready while she is mowing the lawn.
And if you do ask, be very suspicious of the salad she serves you.Free Marriage Tip:
Don't ask your wife when dinner will be ready while she is mowing the lawn.
NorthernRedneck
Well-known member
Why is it easy to weigh fish?
Because they come with their own scales.
Because they come with their own scales.
NorthernRedneck
Well-known member
I told my wife I'm going to start calling her pinky toe.
She asked why.
I said it's because there's a good chance that she'll get banged on the table at some point.
She asked why.
I said it's because there's a good chance that she'll get banged on the table at some point.
NorthernRedneck
Well-known member
NorthernRedneck
Well-known member
I took my suit to the cleaners, who wanted to charge me $40, so I gave it to the charity shop next door. They cleaned and pressed it and put it in the window. I bought it back for$15.
My wife and I decided to never go to bed angry. We've been awake since Tuesday.
Growing up, we knew Dad had had enough when we heard the recliner slam down. Kids these days will never know that fear.
My wife said: "That's the 4th time you've gone back for dessert! Doesn't it embarrass you?" I said: "No, I keep telling them it's for you."
My wife and I started role-playing in the bedroom. Her favorite is The Sexy Librarian where I have to sit quietly while she reads a book.
At a wedding reception, someone yelled: "All married people please stand next to the one person that has made your life worth living." The bartender was almost crushed to death.
I met my wife at a singles night. I was surprised because I thought she was home with the kids.
I want someone I can share my entire life with who will leave me alone most of the time.
Yesterday I bought a world map, gave my wife a dart, and said, "Throw this and wherever it lands, I will take you on vacation." We're spending 3 weeks behind the fridge.
As I walk through the valley of the Shadow of Death, I remind myself that you can't always trust Google Maps.
My wife and I decided to never go to bed angry. We've been awake since Tuesday.
Growing up, we knew Dad had had enough when we heard the recliner slam down. Kids these days will never know that fear.
My wife said: "That's the 4th time you've gone back for dessert! Doesn't it embarrass you?" I said: "No, I keep telling them it's for you."
My wife and I started role-playing in the bedroom. Her favorite is The Sexy Librarian where I have to sit quietly while she reads a book.
At a wedding reception, someone yelled: "All married people please stand next to the one person that has made your life worth living." The bartender was almost crushed to death.
I met my wife at a singles night. I was surprised because I thought she was home with the kids.
I want someone I can share my entire life with who will leave me alone most of the time.
Yesterday I bought a world map, gave my wife a dart, and said, "Throw this and wherever it lands, I will take you on vacation." We're spending 3 weeks behind the fridge.
As I walk through the valley of the Shadow of Death, I remind myself that you can't always trust Google Maps.