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8th grade daughter invited to fence in a college tournament-YIKES?

Melensdad

Melensdad

Jerk in a Hawaiian Shirt & SNOWCAT Moderator
Staff member
OK, I'm not sure about this. My daughter was invited to fence in a college mixed tournament at Purdue University. This is an open tourney, almost all the competitors will be college fencers, some will be older. I looked over the current list of registered fencers, some are nationally ranked Saber fencers.

Clearly Melen will not be competitive at this tournament, in fact it is likely that the will come in dead last.

So for you parents out there, do you take your child to a tourney where they will be overwhelmed by the skill of the more advanced fencers just so they an gain some experience? And if so, is that experience actually valuable? Or is it experience that may be detrimental to the child?

I'm torn on this issue. HELP
 
How does Melen feel about it? If she knows she'll probably be outclassed and still wants to try it, why not?
 
She doesn't want to go, but largely because it is a couple hour drive and she will lose the whole day. I don't think her coach has dwelled on the fact that 80% of the competitors will be college fencing team members, 15% will be ex-college team members and 5% will be club members of any age, but mostly with much more experience and skill than Melen.

We have not dwelled on that at home either.

I'm just not sure about taking her somewhere where I can bet she will come in last, where she will be clearly outclassed, and where she may end up demoralized??? Sports are supposed to be fun, and they also teach some great lessons, but last time I checked the local PeeWee baseball team didn't compete against the National League champions, etc.
 
Re: Th grade daughter invited to fence in a college tournament-YIKES?

Make it extremely clear to the young ones asked to participate that this will be a great learning experience for later in life. To win is always a goal but to just participate in this level of tournament competition at their age is also an honor that very few their age will ever experience. As parents, you must also keep the proper prospective of the great experience versus the level of competition that they will have by just being there and doing their best. Treat the tournament as an unexpected gift of learning and not as a burden to bear by losing.

If the parents can handle this without scars I am sure the children will come out fine for the experience.........:biggrin:
 
You make some valid points to consider Bob .

If she does decide to compete , she needs to know this is for the experience she will gain ,by fencing a superior opponent . The last thing you want to see happen is too have her hopes set to high and see her beat down , but on the other hand if she does better than expected you will not ever hold her back from competing against stronger opponents .

For example , In High School we had the college wrestling team train with us and they kicked my butt every day for a week , but the moves I learned from them gave me the clear advantage in high school Wrestling after that . I finished the rest of that league season and also the next year undefeated and passed on a full ride college schlorship when I graduated high school . Football was my game and wrestling was just a way to stay in shape . Go Figure :unsure:
 
Bill & Allen, thanks for the advice.

We have fencing club tomorrow, the drive there and back will give us some time to talk. You've given me some great ideas.
 
Bob,

Who invited her to this tourney? They, or someone they trust, must have enough confidence in her skills to include her. Talk with her about the opportunity this provides her for gaining experience. Granted, she may be the last place finisher but she was invited!

K
 
Melen's coach was talking to the Purdue University team coach and that coach extended the invitation through Melen's coach.
 
Bob,
I'm not a parent, but as a competitor, I always looked for the toughest match i could find - not because I expected to win (although I did surprisingly better than i expected the first time i played in the "big leagues" in my sport) but because the only way to learn is to play with someone significantly better than you.
This is the way i was trained, and it's the way I taught as well.

Yes, losing is rarely fun, but ANY points scored at that level will be a victory and a very valuable lesson. (for that matter, just watching the other matches will be a good learning experience for her if she's willing to go)

OTOH, if she does not want to compete because she's afraid of being made to look bad, then no matter how good an experience it could be, she's not ready.
 
I think it would be a great experience as well as networking. You can never network too early these days. You may try to add something to the trip that she really likes to do that way she wouldn't feel like she is losing the whole day. In the end, I would let her decide, but make sure to drive home the point that it is not about winning but about having fun and meeting new friends.
 
What an honor. I'd certainlyencourage her as this will help her develop her skills. If she sees it as a learning experience and not a competition. This is kind of a crossroads age for kids and sports. Sometimes, we parents are more enthralled with the sport than our children and they keep playing and competing to please us. Cb and I went through this with our daughter and softball. She had a mean fastpitch and bat. So much potential. But, when it came down to it, she lost interest. I dont, know...too many tournaments? Too many weekends tied up at a ball park and no real downtime for her? I think that may be what eventually did her in. I really think this is ultimately your daughter's decision. I think it is important to talk to her about this opportunity and get her to lay out the pros and cons....What intrigues her about the opportunity and what turns her off. Get her to talk about her reasoning for whatever decision she makes and back her up.

Fencing, huh. My son just began taking fencing lessons first of this month. Pretty cool sport.
 
We are leaving shortly to go to Purdue so Melen can kick some butt!

Should be a fun day. I know of 3 high school students who are competing. I also found out that there are ranked competitors from Kentucky, Michigan and Ohio that are registered too. My hope is that Melen gets paired up against someone who has lesser experience for her first bout. If she goes up against a ranked competitor then she is doomed. But she may learn a few things!!!
 
We just got home a little while ago. LONG DAY. The Saber events started almost 2 hours late.

There were 30 saber fencers competing. Aged 14 (my daughter) to roughly 45(?) years old. There were quite a few high school students fencing, maybe 6 to 8 of them? (Melen is only in Junior High) Most of the competitors were associated with college fencing teams. They dominated the competition.

Melen came in 22nd place out of 30. I was thrilled. After she lost her last bout she made the comment that 'this was great' and had a big smile on her face.

Her last bout was during the double elimination portion of the event. She was fencing a nationally "B" rated fencer, Melen is "unrated". She took an early lead and was up 2 - 0. I think her aggressive attacks really took him off guard as she actually ran him off the back of the strip at one point in the match. He beat her 15 to 11. I was stunned and thrilled that she did so well.

It was a great day.
 
That's awesome!!!! I wonder where she gets her aggressive attack nature from :whistling: I bet she would have been grand champion if she would have taken her pink AR in :wink:
I hope she got the chance to network with others as that is really a big plus for those type of events.

I always find it amazing when we give the kids a little push to do something that they are hesitant to do at first and then afterwards, the kids are so glad they did it.
 
Please tell Melen "Congratulations" from me and "keep up the good work". I was lucky enough to see Melen at her fencing class, I didn't really understand it, but it looks a good sport.
 
B_Skurka said:
in fact it is likely that the will come in dead last.
Click to expand...

Who says? Her skill might prove you wrong. And what if she scores only one point? She might remember it forever.

My high school fencing coach brought his son to practice one night to help out. The boy was on the USA Olympic team.

I got to face him, heads up, five point point foil match, the real deal.

I got beat.

But for the second point I did a feint, a beat and an instant lunge. Caught him napping, and scored my only point of the evening.

I cannot remember any other match during that night, or if I fenced any more, at all. But I do remember the ref raising his arm, quickly detailing the exchange and awarding me the point. That was in 1966.

Don't be too quick to deny her a chance for a little glory.
 
The Tourist said:
Don't be too quick to deny her a chance for a little glory.
Click to expand...
It was buried in the middle of the thread, but you missed this post that told of the results:
B_Skurka said:
We just got home a little while ago. LONG DAY. The Saber events started almost 2 hours late.

There were 30 saber fencers competing. Aged 14 (my daughter) to roughly 45(?) years old. There were quite a few high school students fencing, maybe 6 to 8 of them? (Melen is only in Junior High) Most of the competitors were associated with college fencing teams. They dominated the competition.

Melen came in 22nd place out of 30. I was thrilled. After she lost her last bout she made the comment that 'this was great' and had a big smile on her face.

Her last bout was during the double elimination portion of the event. She was fencing a nationally "B" rated fencer, Melen is "unrated". She took an early lead and was up 2 - 0. I think her aggressive attacks really took him off guard as she actually ran him off the back of the strip at one point in the match. He beat her 15 to 11. I was stunned and thrilled that she did so well.

It was a great day.
Click to expand...
Clearly she ended up doing a very nice job, and she was happy with her performance in most of her matches. I do recall one match where she was not happy with herself, but her final bout was really what set the tone for the day. It was clearly the highlight for her, and she will very likely remember that match up for a very long time.
 
See? It's been my experience that you should always let them try. No one was going to get hurt, and these are the types of memories and life lessons that will stay with her into adulthood.

BTW, I couldn't wield a saber like that at 13 or 14. She must know her stuff.
 
Bringing back a thread...

My son and I did our 3rd of 4 Intro lessons at Sacramento Fencing Club. I had taken two semesters at the local JC 25 years ago; foil fencing and really enjoyed it. I thought I had forgot all, but a little foil fencing keeps popping up in my memory and actions at these sabre fencing lessons.

My son is doing well with it, for an Intro class. I think he enjoys it; he is 15 in two week's, and a uh-hu could be groundbreaking...

Bob, is your daughter foil or sabre fencing?

I would like to do more after this intro class. It is a 45 minute drive for us, but it has been fun so far...

http://www.sacfencing.org/Sacramento_Fencing_Club/Home.html
 
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