Bannedjoe
Well-known member
This all started with a set of self centering drill bits that I thought I'd try.
They were junk, and as always when I receive pure garbage, I'll write a review hoping to save some other schmuck from making the same mistake.
I cannot, (well I suppose I could), count how many times in the last few months and from how many different people I've received this same email, but it's been a lot.
I've mostly ignored them, until recently I decided to reply to the sender named Jenny, who apparently wished to continue our conversation, followed finally by my spark of creative writing.
Enjoy if you will, at your own risk.
Dear Jennie,
If you don't like negative reviews, here's a really good idea:
Quit selling shitty products to unsuspecting customers.
Thank you.
Dear, our product has been improved! Thank you very much for your suggestions. We will consider and correct them. We are just a small shop on Amazon. Reviews are very important to us. Bad reviews are really serious for us. I hope you can help me. ! We are just a small shop, and our family depends on it for survival. I beg you to help me, we would be very grateful!
Dear Jenny,
If your product in question has been improved, I'd suggest you send it to me, I'll try it, and if indeed it works better I'll amend my review.
Dear, because the epidemic is very serious now, if we resend the product to you, it will be very troublesome and the receipt of the goods will be very slow. Can I use an Amazon gift card instead( $19 )? Amazon gift cards can buy goods of corresponding value on Amazon! You can re-purchase on Amazon or you can use the money to buy other things, which is more convenient and will receive the goods faster and solve your problems. I hope you can understand us. We are just a small family on Amazon. The shop, our family depends on it for survival, hope you can help us, we will be very grateful! !
Dear Jenny,
I am very sorry to hear that you are unable to send the product that you say has been improved due to it being too troublesome, and due to the seriousness of the pandemic, that shipping would be too slow.
I would then be forced to assume that it would also be troublesome and slow to order any products at all from your small family company.
This then leaves me to believe that your company should not be in business, because it ships too slowly, and finds shipping to be troublesome.
I do understand your position and the damage that can be done from a bad review, because I too have a small family business.
We are professional hinge installers, and after many years of hard work, we have become one of the most sought after, premier hinge installers in the country.
We travel hundreds, and sometimes even thousands of miles to professionally install hinges for our customers.
Recently, we were commissioned to travel to Tristan Da Cunha in the British Overseas Territory to install over 419 hinges in the massive 1000 sqft mansion of Nigerian prince Masamba Mbeki.
To prepare for such an epic journey, and in order to perform our duties to the highest level of marksmanship, we ordered your company's self centering drill bits designed for hinge installation at the very last moment possible as we wanted to have the best and freshest tools available for the job.
As I'm sure you, and everyone in the world knows, Tristan Da Cunha is one of the most remote locations on the planet, and travel to the island must be planned and booked well over a year in advance due to permissions needed to land, and the only landing being by rarely docking ships.
So after much discussion with our travel agent, and endless conversations with the government of Tristan Da Cunha, and Mr Mbeki, we were cleared for admittance.
They were junk, and as always when I receive pure garbage, I'll write a review hoping to save some other schmuck from making the same mistake.
I cannot, (well I suppose I could), count how many times in the last few months and from how many different people I've received this same email, but it's been a lot.
Dear Bannedjoe,
Thank you for purchasing our products. We apologize for your negative comments on the GORCHEN
At the same time, I am very grateful that these comments allow us to correct the existing problems and urge us to develop better.
Comments are very important to us, and we also attach great importance to the comments left by buyers. Based on these comments, we are working hard to improve the product quality and service.,and we are contacting new manufacturers to improve products.
For a shop like ours, a bad review is a fatal blow to us. Could you please forgive me and help me delete the review? If you can, I want to refund ($19) to you to express my gratitude. Please accept my little wish.Thank you.
I've mostly ignored them, until recently I decided to reply to the sender named Jenny, who apparently wished to continue our conversation, followed finally by my spark of creative writing.
Enjoy if you will, at your own risk.

Dear Jennie,
If you don't like negative reviews, here's a really good idea:
Quit selling shitty products to unsuspecting customers.
Thank you.
Dear, our product has been improved! Thank you very much for your suggestions. We will consider and correct them. We are just a small shop on Amazon. Reviews are very important to us. Bad reviews are really serious for us. I hope you can help me. ! We are just a small shop, and our family depends on it for survival. I beg you to help me, we would be very grateful!
Dear Jenny,
If your product in question has been improved, I'd suggest you send it to me, I'll try it, and if indeed it works better I'll amend my review.
Dear, because the epidemic is very serious now, if we resend the product to you, it will be very troublesome and the receipt of the goods will be very slow. Can I use an Amazon gift card instead( $19 )? Amazon gift cards can buy goods of corresponding value on Amazon! You can re-purchase on Amazon or you can use the money to buy other things, which is more convenient and will receive the goods faster and solve your problems. I hope you can understand us. We are just a small family on Amazon. The shop, our family depends on it for survival, hope you can help us, we will be very grateful! !
Dear Jenny,
I am very sorry to hear that you are unable to send the product that you say has been improved due to it being too troublesome, and due to the seriousness of the pandemic, that shipping would be too slow.
I would then be forced to assume that it would also be troublesome and slow to order any products at all from your small family company.
This then leaves me to believe that your company should not be in business, because it ships too slowly, and finds shipping to be troublesome.
I do understand your position and the damage that can be done from a bad review, because I too have a small family business.
We are professional hinge installers, and after many years of hard work, we have become one of the most sought after, premier hinge installers in the country.
We travel hundreds, and sometimes even thousands of miles to professionally install hinges for our customers.
Recently, we were commissioned to travel to Tristan Da Cunha in the British Overseas Territory to install over 419 hinges in the massive 1000 sqft mansion of Nigerian prince Masamba Mbeki.
To prepare for such an epic journey, and in order to perform our duties to the highest level of marksmanship, we ordered your company's self centering drill bits designed for hinge installation at the very last moment possible as we wanted to have the best and freshest tools available for the job.
As I'm sure you, and everyone in the world knows, Tristan Da Cunha is one of the most remote locations on the planet, and travel to the island must be planned and booked well over a year in advance due to permissions needed to land, and the only landing being by rarely docking ships.
So after much discussion with our travel agent, and endless conversations with the government of Tristan Da Cunha, and Mr Mbeki, we were cleared for admittance.