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Most embarrassing Sex story

Doc

Doc

Bottoms Up
Staff member
US Navy Veteran
Vietnam Veteran
Platinum Patron
While I was in the Navy we were in dry dock at Subic Bay in the Philippines. Just outside of Subic is Olongapo city. A wild little town made up mostly of bars for thirsty sailer's.
A buddy had been with one particular girl all evening long. Mid way through the evening the girl I was with said that my buddy was really dancing with a guy dressed in drag. :pat: We had a table of 12 or so couples and everyone but our poor buddy knew what was going on. It was so funny to watch him make his play on the guy dressed as a hot chick. Man, he was fuming mad when he found out. We laughed about it for years afterwards.

10 rep points for anyone posting a good story here. :D :thumb:
 
Hell, I knew that I knew you from somewhere else. I was there that night. I was dancing with Holland.... you must remember her?? She was the one that you said had a funny name, and she told you how she got it. Her last name was Tunnel, and for 50 cents anyone can get in......:applause: :applause:
 
In high school...

At a girls house, upstairs on a weekend night and it turns out her parents came home early (which was still pretty late). The bedroom was on a second floor that had a patio and stairs to the backyard (I parked behind the house on a backstreet).

Well, had to get out of her bed in my birthday outfit and had to pick up my clothes in total darkness. I put my shorts on and threw my shirt on as well, and quickly threw my underwear in my pants pocket to make a quick getaway, which I did with no problem.

Two days later my mom asks me to come down to the basement. I can't figure out why, but she's doing laundry.

She then asks me why do I have girls underwear in my pants pocket?

I put the girls underwear in my pants pocket instead of my own.

I never heard what happened to my pair that I left behind.

That's just one:D
 
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Alright, I know that the Nixon clan will read this. But, here goes ... I was in paitya (SP )beach Thailand ,We went to the VIP massage parlor . I'd been there before ,and knew the owner well . I asked for girl# 10 .. the owner told Me "You need to make another choice " I asked Him why ,and His answer was "because "She's got a bigger @#4than You do !! Thank God for truthful businessmen!
 
Doc said:
10 rep points for anyone posting a good story here. :D :thumb:
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I don't know if it has to be about yourself or just a true story about another person?? Anyway here goes, if I don't get points that is fine.

This was a first date for this couple and they guy picked this girl up from her residence. They attended a party where there was a lot of drinking going on in a town about 20 miles away. At the end of the night before a long drive home evidently the girl could not get into the rest room to go potty since there was a long line to it and she figured she could make it home before having to go. Well she was wrong. About half way home she just could not take it anymore and asked he date if he could pull over so she could pee. After 15 minutes or so the girl has not returned so the guy opens his window and yells out asking if everything was ok? He hears nothing and yells out again. This time he hears a wimper and decides to get out of the car. Here she is, sitting on the bumper of the car and yes, it is -15 outside and she is frozen to the bumper:pat: So how does one get a frozen arse off of a bumper that has a temperature of -15F without ripping that beautiful arse??

Well he had to go to the bathroom also:rolleyes:
 
When I had my application in for the police department they started to ask me about a house I was frequenting. You see I had two female friends who were renting a room. There were about 6 rooms rented out. One of the rooms was rented out to a guy who they suspected of burglarizing the area. Anyway they knew the two girls I was "visiting" on occasion and asked me to let them know when this guy and his friends would show up (this was over a 3 to 4 week period). They gave me a radio. So late one night I here this guy and his friends climb onto the back deck. I go to my car and radio in. I go back to the room and go to sleep. In the morning when these particular friends of mine would like to get busy and man did they get busy, we here some noise and yelling. My one particluar friend "Pyhsca" 6'2" Blond hair down to her arse and Perfect breasts was on top of me. Our other friend was busy kissing on her but we all stopped and were kinda looking at each other like what the F**K????? The door slams open. Heres two police officers with guns drawn. These two on top of me attempt to dive off. Pyhsca who is kinda stuck on me and I am not letting go of her she dives down on me instead and places those wonderful breats right on my face. The officers back out and proceed through the house with the other officers. Now I know all these guys and they keep peeking in as they start to grab their clothes and put them on. For some reason these Officers just thought that was the coolest thing for a young man to be doing and I was hired not to long after that. They talked about that for years! The creeps were arrested and a ton of equipment was recovered at the house. True story.


NOW about her name. I am sure I am miss spelling it but her name is Pyhca Moon Child We called her Pyhsca or Seecha. Her parents who are wonderful people are a seen right out of WoodStock. They wear or did wear tie die shirts and drove a hippy painted VW bus. Every time I went to her house they would be smoking weed. I havent seen them or her since the late 80s but man what a beautiful woman.
 
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How about most odd?

When I was 24, I dated a 41 year old woman who had a 19 year old daughter. We all went out to dinner with the daughters new boyfriend.

The boyfriend was 27 years old. Sitting at the dinner table, I thought to myself "here I am with my date, and her daughters boyfriend is older than me". I got a little freaked out thinking that if we all got married, my step son in law would be older than me.
 
Sure, you'll get 10 points...., sounds interesting.
 
Snowcat Operations said:
How about just a good sex story? Will I get 10 points for that? Its funny as hell too.
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Doc said:
Sure, you'll get 10 points...., sounds interesting.
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Doc, please set ground-rules before giving points.

I think the criteria should require at least 1 other person is in the story... A story about Mike's escapades (since they're solo) doesn't warrant 10 points.
 
OK this was awhile ago. I was 2nd in command of security for Saint Francis Medical center in Santa Barbara CA. One of our guys called in sick so I stayed to pull a double. One of my friends who was an Engineer there was also working a late shift. We did our rounds together to pass the time and bullshit. We walked by one of the Nurses station and said hello to a couple of the cuties working. As we got down the hall I said I could bang one of them. Ingamar (Swedish college student / engineer) said no way in his Swedish accent. I said oh yes I can. So we went back down to my small office. The office was about 10x10 and had a smaller office connected to it by a huge 5x5 window (I am guessing at the size but close enough). I call the nurses station and told one of the girls to come on down on here break. I told her to call me first to make sure I was there. She says I going on my break now i'll be down in a minute. SHIT----- I tell Ingamar to go into the other office and wait till I turn the lights off. He no sooner gets into the other office and I hear here coming down the stairs. Knock knock knock. I open the door and let her in. I instantly start kissing her and taking off her clothes. I turn the light off and put her on my Bosses desk and place her back to the window. I start banging her and I see Ingamar slowly raising his head for a looksie. I almost start laughing. I finsh up and turn on the lights. She goes up stairs and I start laughing my ass off. Ingamar comes in yelling your the man your the man. We were laughing so damn hard we were crying! Now that is a true story!
 
BC and Boggie both confirmed your story with this pic Mike. Man, what some people won't do for rep points. At least Junkman just begs...:yum: Here is the confirming pic sent to me by BC of the blond in Mouse Ear Mikes story and it was not his sister this time....:yum: It was his first cousin....:4_11_9:

fat-woman.jpg
 
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:puke1:​
LMAO :yum: How could you guys do this to me! LMAO :yum: Theres not enough rep points for me to..... But then again. It wouldnt matter where you stuck it..


You guys are just jelous of me. Plain and simple truth.


I have another one but you guys would just say bad things. Shame on you.:boobies:
 
Uhhh, you are allowed to change the names to protect the guilty. :D :yankchain:
 
My most embarrassing sex story is from when I lost my virginity.
I was 16 and didn't really KNOW what a ummmmm, who know, looked like in it's happier state.
This was on a beach after myself and a friend of my brother conspired to meet after the folks went to bed during a Michigan vacation getaway at my parent's summer home.
When the time came.. I wondered if that thing would fit inside me.
It scared the hell out of me to be honest.
Call me stupid, but I really didn't know diddly about erections and things growing, or how it all worked.
The rest is history.. ;)
I think I done learned a lot since then lol
 
:D :yum:
Is that why you became a nurse Lorilei? To learn more about the human body? :D
 
pirate_girl said:
The rest is history.. ;)
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Oh sure, tease us with an interesting story and leave out the the fun details [more likely, my mind just twists things in funny ways] :

pirate_girl said:
When the time came..
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So this was actually a planned event or just the date was planned?

pirate_girl said:
Call me stupid, but I really didn't know diddly
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So did he educate you first, or "just make it work"?

pirate_girl said:
This was on a beach....
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So which if either of you was picking sand from their butt?


See details make all the difference! Or better yet :weneedpic ....... actually some 16year pirategirl pictures to go with the "hot 40" thread would be interesting! :beer:

Ok, guess I'm just twisted and will be doomed to live my life vicariously through accomplished lovers like Snowcat. :pat:
 
Oh boy, if I'm going to be teasing PirateGirl, I better tell a story too:

Back in the college days, a friend of mine and his girlfriend decided to hook me up with a friend of hers....her being on the rebound and myself being more a long term thinker and perhaps shy [with intimacy anyway], they thought we both "needed it."

No physical or intellectual connection, but she was horny, so having already been putting back a few too many, I decided to "drink her pretty" and see what happened.....she crawled on top and whether a moment of sobriety or WD [probaby both], I wasn't going to "perform."
I caught crap from my college friends for years after. :toilet:
 
Spiffy1 said:
Oh sure, tease us with an interesting story and leave out the the fun details [more likely, my mind just twists things in funny ways] :



So this was actually a planned event or just the date was planned?
It was planned to sneak down to the beach, it wasn't in my plans anyway, to have sex:rolleyes:



So did he educate you first, or "just make it work"?
Oh he educated me alright
:yum:


So which if either of you was picking sand from their butt?
Neither, we had a skinny dip hug session after, got dressed- then walked back up to the house ;)


See details make all the difference! Or better yet :weneedpic ....... actually some 16year pirategirl pictures to go with the "hot 40" thread would be interesting! :beer:

Ok, guess I'm just twisted and will be doomed to live my life vicariously through accomplished lovers like Snowcat. :pat:
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:)
 
A coworker from long ago once told the story of giving her first BJ. She didn't know what she was doing, so went down to the general area and blew on it (like you would on something hot. :yum: :yum: She assured us she did eventually learn some other techniques. :D
 
Doc said:
A coworker from long ago once told the story of giving her first BJ. She didn't know what she was doing, so went down to the general area and blew on it (like you would on something hot. :yum: :yum: She assured us she did eventually learn some other techniques. :D
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Oh and that's another thing!!
When my friends and I were younger, we'd heard the term BJ, but didn't know what possible thrill a guy could get from having his instrument blown like a trumpet.:yum:
Again, I learned a lot since then
338.gif
 
pirate_girl said:
Oh and that's another thing!!
When my friends and I were younger, we'd heard the term BJ, but didn't know what possible thrill a guy could get from having his instrument blown like a trumpet.:yum:
Again, I learned a lot since then
338.gif
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blown like a trumpet? Sounds like plenty I haven't heard of yet! :wave:

have heard of a rusty trombone though......:poke:
 
My wife was at work one day when she called me and made some "suggestive coments" to me over the phone. So me, being the smart ass that I am, I decide to get the bed ready for when she gets home. I had laid out a few of her "Toys" and such. Some required batterries, some didn't...you get the picture. Well, when she came home, I was waiting for her in my housecoat and all. She came in the house and right behind her, my mother walked in. She didn't think anything of me being ready for bed at 11pm but then she sent my mom into the bedroom :pat: to get something in her closet. My mother came out of there with this stunned look on her face..........:yum: :applause:
 
groomerguyNWO said:
My wife was at work one day when she called me and made some "suggestive coments" to me over the phone. So me, being the smart ass that I am, I decide to get the bed ready for when she gets home. I had laid out a few of her "Toys" and such. Some required batterries, some didn't...you get the picture. Well, when she came home, I was waiting for her in my housecoat and all. She came in the house and right behind her, my mother walked in. She didn't think anything of me being ready for bed at 11pm but then she sent my mom into the bedroom :pat: to get something in her closet. My mother came out of there with this stunned look on her face..........:yum: :applause:
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LOL!!!
 
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