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Truely Tasteless Jokes ...
- Thread starter Doc
- Start date
Almost
Well-known member
Holly, Philip and Gino were walking over a bridge.
Holly trips and gets her head stuck between the railings.
Without a sideways glance, Gino pulls aside her G-String and ***** her senseless.
He stands back and tells Phillip "your turn"!
Phillip burst out into tears. "Whats wrong? Asks Gino.
Phillip sobs, "My head won't fit in the railings"
Holly trips and gets her head stuck between the railings.
Without a sideways glance, Gino pulls aside her G-String and ***** her senseless.
He stands back and tells Phillip "your turn"!
Phillip burst out into tears. "Whats wrong? Asks Gino.
Phillip sobs, "My head won't fit in the railings"
The geography of a woman as she ages:
Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa. Half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally Beautiful!
Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe. Well developed and open to trade, especially for someone of real value.
Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain. Very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.
Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece. Gently aging but still a warm and desirable place to visit.
Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain. With a glorious and all conquering past.
Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel. Has been through war, doesn't make the same mistakes twice, and takes care of business.
Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada. Self-preserving, but open to meeting new people.
After 70, she becomes Tibet. Wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages. An adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge.
THE GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN
Between 1 and 100, a man is like North Korea and Russia:
Ruled by a pair of nuts.
Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa. Half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally Beautiful!
Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe. Well developed and open to trade, especially for someone of real value.
Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain. Very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.
Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece. Gently aging but still a warm and desirable place to visit.
Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain. With a glorious and all conquering past.
Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel. Has been through war, doesn't make the same mistakes twice, and takes care of business.
Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada. Self-preserving, but open to meeting new people.
After 70, she becomes Tibet. Wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages. An adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge.
THE GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN
Between 1 and 100, a man is like North Korea and Russia:
Ruled by a pair of nuts.
A man returned from serving his country overseas and discovered his wife was 9 months pregnant. He was angry because they had been married for a year and two months, and he had shipped out right after the honeymoon. He had not slept with his wife to be able to have her at 9 months pregnant.
He took her to court and sued her for divorce. At the hearing, his wife told the judge it was a tragic mistake. Following the honeymoon, her husband received orders to board his ship and was shipped out, and it so impacted her, because of her love for her husband, that she would dream she was having sex with his ghost every night.
"A Ghost, you say, ma'am? A Ghost, were you making love to a ghost of your husband?"
The wife replied,
“Yes, your honor, that is right; I dreamed I was making love to his ghost every night!"
The judge slammed his gavel down and loudly asked the people in the courtroom,
“That is ridiculous! Has anyone in this courtroom ever made love to a Ghost?”
An old man dressed in farming overalls, covered with dust, dirt, and straw, stood up and raised his hand.
The judge called out loudly to the man –––
"You, sir, you have made love to a ghost? You have had sex with a G-H-O-S-T, as in Casper the Ghost?"
The old farmer, looking surprised, replied –––
"Oh, pardon me, your honor, I thought you said a goat!"
He took her to court and sued her for divorce. At the hearing, his wife told the judge it was a tragic mistake. Following the honeymoon, her husband received orders to board his ship and was shipped out, and it so impacted her, because of her love for her husband, that she would dream she was having sex with his ghost every night.
"A Ghost, you say, ma'am? A Ghost, were you making love to a ghost of your husband?"
The wife replied,
“Yes, your honor, that is right; I dreamed I was making love to his ghost every night!"
The judge slammed his gavel down and loudly asked the people in the courtroom,
“That is ridiculous! Has anyone in this courtroom ever made love to a Ghost?”
An old man dressed in farming overalls, covered with dust, dirt, and straw, stood up and raised his hand.
The judge called out loudly to the man –––
"You, sir, you have made love to a ghost? You have had sex with a G-H-O-S-T, as in Casper the Ghost?"
The old farmer, looking surprised, replied –––
"Oh, pardon me, your honor, I thought you said a goat!"
A blonde woman visits her husband in prison. Before leaving, she tells a correction officer:
“You shouldn’t make my husband work like that. He’s exhausted!”
The officer laughs and says,
“Are you kidding? He just eats and sleeps and stays in his cell!”
The wife replies:
"Bull ----! He just told me he’s been digging a tunnel for months!
“You shouldn’t make my husband work like that. He’s exhausted!”
The officer laughs and says,
“Are you kidding? He just eats and sleeps and stays in his cell!”
The wife replies:
"Bull ----! He just told me he’s been digging a tunnel for months!
