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The Story Of Christmas....

Galvatron

Galvatron

Spock and Galvatron < one and the same
The FF version as told by Galvi......

It was a cold night in PA and 3 not so wise village idiots were cruising in a white chariot of rust looking for a late night store to buy cheap booze....when out of no-where a bright light appeared....the driver named Rusty hit the brakes and Lobo along with Jev threw their weed laced smokes out of the window expecting it to be the police...but in fact it was an Angel sent by Doc.

The Angel told them of a child that would be born....the parents were poor and were on the Evil Healthcare plan devised by the devil himself....and the 3 Village idiots were to travel to witness the Birth as this child would be special....to aid them they were to follow the cheap knock off Sat nav that Rusty had installed in his chariot....damn thing was made in China.

Before they set off they picked up a gift each from the kwiki-mart....Rusty grabbed a 12 pack of Bud light....Jev chose a non-stick frying pan whilst Lobo opted for the AK-47 assault rifle which came with a free air-freshener.

..........To be continued ..................................
 
Meanwhile many many miles away there was a Lady heavy with child....PG be her name.

Her lover who worked away with the Amish did not know of the child,he be Muleman but i will call him Bill,when he arrived home and see the Bump upon her belly he said"shit bitch you are carrying some timber there"to which she told of the child she was carrying....she claimed the child to be of a ghostly Forum Admin to which he told her of his belief in her story,but told all down the pub he was sure it was that sly git Bobcat and if he only knew what he looked like(he hid behind his hat) he would slap him with a wet fish.

PG and Bill decided it would not be right to bring up the child in Alabama....so chose to head north to Canada where they could Mingle in among the French Canadians in which they would appear normal......the Journey would be long and the weather bad so they packed supplies of home made soup and M&M's.

And off they set.........


...............to be continued.............................
 
:yum::yum::yum: Look out Canada, here come the dynamic duo. Have another pint, Galvi. This gets better with your increasing level of intoxication.
 
Meanwhile the passion wagon carrying the 3 chosen Jerks was heading south....Rusty was convinced it was North West as entered into the Crap-Nav but once again he was wrong....they started arguing about being lost but being men refused to pull over to ask directions,what made things worse was the fact Jev bought along CD's of his choice to entertain them.... whole damn box set of Neil Diamond...forever in Blue Jeans was taking it's toll on Lobo as you could well imagine.


[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QQLWF_ItzYs"]YouTube - Neil Diamond - Forever in Blue Jeans (Stereo!)[/ame]


To be continued...............
 
With the Prius(:yum::yum::yum: yes i did say Prius:yum::yum::yum:)loaded PG and Bill was making slooooooooow progress,Bill waffled on about how they needed to save $$$ with a child on it's way hence the mileage he could get on 1 tank of Gas but with the snow coming in fast that little front wheel drive squint eyed Jap crap just was not up to the task.....the car came to a sudden stop and thats it they were stuck...out in the middle of nowhere all hope seemed to be fading fast.

But like a Miracle a light appeared in the distance...slowly glimmering brighter as it got closer....then came the sound....a roaring turbo charged fuel injected monstrous roar....the light became blinding....the floor was shaking.....could it be the Dark Knight that was rumoured to travel these parts....






















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Yes...Yes.....YES it was Sir Big Al in his Kristi!!!!! :clap:


To be Continued...........
 

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The passion wagon at this point was at last heading North....they gave up on the Crap-Nav and instead chose to follow a bright light in the distance....this was luck as the light was from a pile of old tires Burning in GroomerGuy's back yard.

Running low on fuel they pulled in to a service station...they had no money left over from the gifts they had purchased so decided to trade with the station owner.....the station owner was soaked in Whiskey and glared at the 3 with his swollen eyes...he said"i am Big Dog and i am the ruler of these parts....give me something to please my troubled mind and i shall fill your tank with black Gold"...the 3 wise Jerks were fearful and had nothing within their pockets to trade....but the Big Dog told them to look deep within their wagon and to find something quick as he was due at the beauticians real soon and he never missed his appointments....his nails were his pride and joy.

Rusty pleaded with Jev and Lobo not to look in the trunk as in there he kept what was dearest to him....but they distracted him with a YoYo and grabbed a large brown bag from the trunk...they run inside and handed it to the Big Dog.....he looked inside and with a smile told them to take all the Gas they could carry,for the bag contained a stash of Playboy and the dirty Dog's troubled mind was now at peace.

The passion wagon continued it's journey...


...........To be continued...............
 
Now travelling safe with Big Al in the luxury of his KT3 PG and Bill was amazed with the refurb Al had done on this beast.....the dash was coated in the finest walnut and the seats impressively covered with hand stitched leather...the KT3 was for sure the Krimbo of all snow mobiles....as the snow drifted and got deeper and denser Al just applied more octane laced Gas for the Beast from the East to get faster and faster......the more the weather slung in their tracks the more Al and his Kristi seemed to perform,Al only slowed briefly every 3 hours to open the window to dispose of the bottles of piss that amounted from drinking fine Rum that he carried to keep the warmth flowing through his hugh kindred spirit.

Before long they were in Kansas where they stopped off at a diner,Sir Big Al ordered a large steak cooked medium rare,fries on the side and coke laced with Rum...Bill had the special fired Chicken with a side hot potatoe smothered in fine grated cheese....PG had what all expeting mothers would have:-

Chicken sandwich

Large steak

Onion rings

Fries

side salad

chips with salsa dip

cheese cake

apple pie

lemon tart

choco surprise

and a large coffee to go.

Yes this was followed with farting and belching which drew the attention fo a stranger sitting in the corner wearing tight cycling shorts and a bright orange vest,he was Jeremy the kansas Wizard.

Sir Al asked Jeremy if he knew of a safe place they could take PG and Bill to across the border in Canada....he replied"yes i do and you need to go to Groomers Inn....the journey will be tough for the darkness will deepen to darker than you have ever known before....but for a glass of your Rum i can grant you assistance"....Al poured the wizard a glass of his finest Rum.

Jeremy led them out side and whipped out his wand....waved it around and said "follow the glow in the yellow piss snow":yum::yum::yum:

They set off on their way......


.............to be continued.................
 
I don't want to ride with a pregnant woman who ate all that food. We will have frostbite from all the potty stops!
 
Never mind being pregnant, I'm going to get fat eating all that stuff! :hammer:































What? no ketchup for my onion rings?:yum:
 
Rusty now had his foot firmly putting the pedal to the metal....well corrosion is more like it,with Neil Diamond still playing away Jev and Lobo were now playing a game of name that smell in which most odours were coming from the drivers seat which was wrongly located on the left...Jev noticed Rusty was starting to tire so offered to drive for a bit which was a much needed suggestion.

They pulled over and as they got out to switch seats across the road stood a tiny Toad holding a sign up saying"car broke down could not be Toad...can you give me a lift to my home"....how could they say know to a poor helpless Toad it would not be very sporting of them.

Lobo shouted over "hop inside you have a ride" to which the Toad did so...he told them his name was Murph and he was trying to get home to his family and missed them so much...and in fact he was a prince trapped in a Toads body and only when he got home and made Love to his Princess wife would he be released from the Toads body....yes he was a horny Toad indeed.

Again they continued their journey with now a Toad to keep them company....the Snow was getting heavier but they plowed on into the night crossing through Wisconsin and right in to Minnesota.

.............To be continued...........
 
still looking for that head shaking smiley :yum::yum::yum:

keep it up, mister galvy. you can make this into a book and sell it. and i get a percentage of course for the use of my likeness
 
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