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NINE WORDS WOMEN USE

lilnixon

AKA LILVIXEN
NINE WORDS WOMEN USE
(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually not a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' . That will bring on a 'whatever')..
(8) Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying F-- YOU!
(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.
 
Women look at men as a sperm bank and something to be controlled. We would be happy to provide those services as donor, and then left to go back to our man-cave with our fellow Neanderthals. Women should live with women and not bother with this freak of nature known as man. We are perfectly happy NOT being bossed around, and can coexist just fine with our fellow imperfect beings. Hunt, fish, drink, smoke, swear...these are all acceptable behaviors for the lesser of the species, and we find no problems with them (except for the girly men).

We are not a science project to be paraded in front of your girl and girly-men friends like a before and after picture. Just move in with another perfect woman and be done with it. Your life will be infinitely easier without us getting in the way and leaving the toilet seat up. Just for the record, men LOOK at the toilet, ascertain it's proper orientation of components, make adjustments as required, then utilize said device in its designed manner. We feel genuine sadness that females lack this ability, but to ASSUME that the seat will always be in its proper orientation for them when they plant their ass on it. This is just their way of saying they should get their way ALL the time. Nuff said.
 
(10) I don't care. You decide.: Don't worry about this one, just accept your fate ... Your decision will always be wrong.
 
NINE WORDS WOMEN USE
(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually not a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' . That will bring on a 'whatever')..
(8) Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying F-- YOU!
(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.

Of course, we'd be on our very best behaviour should the guy in question be Russell Crowe. :in_love::in_love::in_love:

:smile:
 
My response to any of the above......Yes Dear!!!

Works every time. Just smile and agree. Then I can't be blamed for anything.
 
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