I am a coach, I don't need to take sh!t from national organizations or be attacked

[Melensdad]

For those who don't know, I've been a volunteer fencing coach for almost 15 years. Volunteer. I've refused pay. I am under contract as a college coach at Purdue University, 90 miles away, at NO PAY (they do give me a parking space). I am a coach at a high school 40 miles the other direction, again, NO PAY. I run a private fencing club, again NO PAY. I give private and semi private lessons, NO PAY. I average 5 days a week coaching, mostly high school and college age, but also adults. I pay my own travel expenses to events all around the country. I've coached at national championships, junior olympic, collegiate championships, regional and national events, and many local events. If someone gifts me a bottle of whiskey at Christmas I do accept that.

Early this year the national organization required me (and others) to take a coaching test, they claimed it was for liability and competency. I took the class, took the test, and the very second I submitted my essay test my coaching certificate was approved. Clearly they didn't grade it. Clearly they didn't read it. So they lied.

Yesterday a senior national referee jumped all over me ON FACEBOOK, IN PUBLIC, for stupid shit. She is very highly respected for her skills, and a regional and national officer.

Today she apologized to me, profusely. I told her to fuck off (I was very slightly, but only very slightly more polite).

Another national organization's legal counsel reached out to me to support me and offer PRO BONO service should I choose to follow up with anything against the organization or the specific senior referee/officer.

Damn, just let me coach.

I don't want to be involved in their bickering or politics or issues or whatever.

 

[NorthernRedneck]

I get the same thing being a scout leader. I've been volunteering for 8 years. I do it because I enjoy working with the kids passing on skills that I have learned over the years on survival techniques in the woods and all the other fun stiff we do. I don't care about all the behind the scenes politics. I'm the same way with the snowmobile club. I don't care for the behind the scenes politics. I just like getting out in the woods. But they keep pushing me to be president of the club which would mean less time out in the woods and more meetings. Boring 😴

 

[Melensdad]

I get the same thing being a scout leader. I've been volunteering for 8 years. I do it because I enjoy working with the kids passing on skills that I have learned over the years on survival techniques in the woods and all the other fun stiff we do. I don't care about all the behind the scenes politics. I'm the same way with the snowmobile club. I don't care for the behind the scenes politics. I just like getting out in the woods. But they keep pushing me to be president of the club which would mean less time out in the woods and more meetings. Boring 😴

I am president of our local fencing club, but that is actually a pleasure. We are an all volunteer, non-profit, with a surgeon as a benefactor. He loves us, we raise more money than we can annually spend, so we are "free" from the national organizational politics and we have the luxury of actually 'pushing back' against stupidity.

That said I was wholly unprepared to be verbally attacked by a regional director for the national organization on Tuesday evening in a dedicated group page. I believe she actually posted a "set up" so that she could lure someone in. Sort of a spider's web, the fly never sees it until it is tangled by the web.

So there I was, in total agreement and supportive about a "Black Card" action, supporting our referees when the convo turned and wham I was blind sided. My words were twisted. My statements were manipulated and things I never wrote were inferred to be what they are not.

All related to another group, which also purports to support referee training, and many other good things that I support. So apparently, idiot me did not know that the 2 organizations are sparing in a legal battle. I've had past harsh words with the leader of the main group, I joined the other group, simply because I support their mission statement. I'm a member of both, but no allegiance to either.

Unlike most coaches, I have no profit motive, I don't need to protect my reputation to earn my next meal, so I have no reason to back down and run away or apologize for being human (old white 'cis-male'?) or whatever they demand.

SO I started getting hit for supporting trans doxxing, I get hit for being like a member of an organization that is actually compared to the Klu-Klux Klan. I get hit for not knowing the internal happenings at some random event in Michigan and am told I am living with my head in the sand. I get hit for not knowing about some unpublicized controversy 2 trans athletes in Michigan?

It was totally surreal.

Other coaches privately sent me notes of support, saying "she" may be 'off her meds' ...

I never lost my cool, I never apologized, I firmly stated my support for the mission statement of the 'other' organization.

One thing I know, if you believe in something, don't back down from the bullies.

That worked out well as the bully later privately apologized.

The legal counsel for the 'other' organization stepped up too.

He refuted the things she claimed. He said her lawyer also agreed to their statements. So clearly this is not the first time she overstepped. That may be while she apologized?

But ONE MORE TIME, where there is grief, leave the actual coaches & volunteers & 'worker bees' OUT OF THE F-ING FIGHT. We are here for fun. We don't need their shit show.

 

[pirate_girl]

That's terrible, Bob.
I believe some people we know get a little too comfy with their opinions, especially on Facebook as a "friend."
I had a situation a few days ago where I simply shared a video of Flip Wilson and Joe Namath in an old skit from Flip's 1970s television show.
It's a funny skit.
Well, seems not even 5 minutes after I posted it, it had a comment from a friended person from another forum I'm on.
Then it was gone. I got a warning after that.
This fool thinks that whatever is shared by others, it ALL must therefore be followed by his expertise commentary.
I learned how to restrict him.
He can't see anything I post now.
I'd delete and block, but that would cause a hassle at the other place 🙄

 

[Melensdad]

Totally agree.

People think they can get away with an attack simply because it is the internet.

There are legitimate ways to shut them up and/or silence them and/or make them look like idiots.

 

[Kevlar]

This is the reason why almost all amateur sports and children’s clubs struggle to find coaches or people to help run and organize . As soon as someone takes on that position they instantly become the whipping boy from the higher ups and the parents. Both sides expect you to take on their beliefs and do it their way. If not they will make your life miserable.

 

[Melensdad]

. . . If not they will make your life miserable.

I don't think they were prepared to run into the likes of me.

Much of the power of these organizations lies in their supposed power to financially enhance or destroy someone who reaches my level of coaching. Yet here I am, financially independent. With a club behind me that has a sterling reputation as a non-profit AND somehow churning out highly competitive fencers who maintain club affiliation even after they move away. I also have a megaphone in the community because I administer a very large Facebook group that has remained totally "nonpolitical" within the community.

All this pisses me off, but how many others, who step into those traps, had to cave because they need to earn their living from this sport? Or got chased out because they didn't want to deal with this crap? Or were prospective volunteers/coaches and preemptively chased away because of these public fights?

Not sure they expected someone like me to stand up and not back down.

 

[pirate_girl]

Sounds like sheer jealousy to me, from the other person.
You're that excellent and are most likely envied.

 

[Melensdad]

Sounds like sheer jealousy to me, from the other person.
You're that excellent and are most likely envied.

No, I think the person, who is an officer in the main organization, had a personal axe to grind, against the other organization.

I think she laid a trap for anyone who might possibly defend the other organization.

I just plodded along and stepped into the trap. Essentially I was the first one to respond so I got hammered.

This morning she send more "explanation" and further apology.

In what I hope is the LAST of this crap I asked her, because it is still posted for all to see in a public forum, how much damage she has done to FUTURE volunteers?

She replied that she is not the only path to become a referee in the midwest region. I said I was not referring to that. I said if I'm a POTENTIAL volunteer, a POTENTIAL new coach, or a POTENTIAL new referee considering spending time to build my name and reputation and I see that series, which is posted prominently in a topic specific niche forum with worldwide reach, and I see her name, which is WELL KNOWN in the sport community . . . I asked HOW MUCH DAMAGE SHE JUST CAUSED TO THOSE PEOPLE WHO MAY NOW RECONSIDER and future involvement in coaching.

I told her that thread is going to ECHO around the community and no future (or current) coach wants to deal with her wrath if she is refereeing their fencer. I asked her what future bout committee volunteer will not volunteer for fear of angering her? What future referee who may be a bit timid would want to be judged by her at a tournament?

Again, she is a very prominent referee with National/International standing.

That pretty much hit her between the eyes.