Tidbits AKA Groaners

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NorthernRedneck

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If I were to work as a security guard at a Samsung phone store, would that make me the "guardian of the galaxy"?

[emoji848]
 

Doc

Administrator
Staff member
A lady who was speeding had an officer pull her to the side of the road. She didn't have her seat belt on so as soon as she stopped, she quickly slipped it on before the officer got to her window.

After talking to her about speeding, the officer said, "I see you are wearing your seat belt. Do you believe in wearing it at all times?"

"Yes, I do, officer," she replied.

"Well," asked the officer, "do you always do it up with it looped through your steering wheel?"
 

pirate_girl

Infirmière essentielle/meme Queen
GOLD Site Supporter
Groan20191231_082808.jpg
 

Doc

Administrator
Staff member
Don't be worried about your smartphone or TV spying on you. Your vacuum cleaner has been gathering dirt on you for years.
 

Doc

Administrator
Staff member
A wife and husband were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.

Husband asked her, 'Do you know him?'

'Yes,' she sighed,

'He's my old boyfriend.... I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since.'

'My God!' Husband said,

'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'
 

Doc

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"People should just mind their own business''.

Is probably the funniest thing I've ever read on a social networking site.
 

Bannedjoe

Well-known member
What do you call an Egyptian prince with a degree in plumbing?







Turn computer upside down to read answer.

ɹoɾɐɯ ʇǝɔnɐɟ ɥoɐɹɐɥd ɐ
 

Doc

Administrator
Staff member
If lawyers are disbarred and

clergymen defrocked,

doesn't it follow that

electricians can be delighted,

musicians denoted,

cowboys deranged,

models deposed,

tree surgeons debarked, and

dry cleaners depressed?
 

NorthernRedneck

Well-known member
GOLD Site Supporter
Justin Trudeau just banned the sale of Mexican beer in Canada in an attempt to stop the coronavirus.

[emoji12]
 

NorthernRedneck

Well-known member
GOLD Site Supporter
My doctor told me my sugar was too high.

So I came home and lowered it from a shelf onto the counter.

Don't ask google why cornflakes were invented.
 
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