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Should I announce my relationship with a co-worker?

Ironpony

Member
I've been dating a co-worker in my job for a few months now, and the Christmas party is coming up in a few weeks and if we go, I was wondering, if we should go together and make it obvious since the people I work with are not aware of the relationship. I sometimes wonder if the employers would perhaps not be okay with it. It didn't say anything in the code of conduct about it, but still I wonder sometimes for our sake.

What do you think in this type of situation? Also, I could be overreacting maybe here a bit but there is an age gap between us and some people have looked down it or things like that, so wonder if the co-workers or managers would look down on that too maybe? But maybe I'm overreacting and maybe no one would care and it's irrevelant and we should just go as a date and make it obvious?

What do you think?
 

pirate_girl

⚓🇺🇸
GOLD Site Supporter
I've been dating a co-worker in my job for a few months now, and the Christmas party is coming up in a few weeks and if we go, I was wondering, if we should go together and make it obvious since the people I work with are not aware of the relationship. I sometimes wonder if the employers would perhaps not be okay with it. It didn't say anything in the code of conduct about it, but still I wonder sometimes for our sake.

What do you think in this type of situation? Also, I could be overreacting maybe here a bit but there is an age gap between us and some people have looked down it or things like that, so wonder if the co-workers or managers would look down on that too maybe? But maybe I'm overreacting and maybe no one would care and it's irrevelant and we should just go as a date and make it obvious?

What do you think?
I think you should stay over on Loveshack.org and take THEIR advice.
😏🙄
 

Answers Dan

New member
I've been dating a co-worker in my job for a few months now, and the Christmas party is coming up in a few weeks and if we go, I was wondering, if we should go together and make it obvious since the people I work with are not aware of the relationship. I sometimes wonder if the employers would perhaps not be okay with it. It didn't say anything in the code of conduct about it, but still I wonder sometimes for our sake.

What do you think in this type of situation? Also, I could be overreacting maybe here a bit but there is an age gap between us and some people have looked down it or things like that, so wonder if the co-workers or managers would look down on that too maybe? But maybe I'm overreacting and maybe no one would care and it's irrevelant and we should just go as a date and make it obvious?

What do you think?
It depends on your office politics. If you're known as a couple then there is a power shift. If someone displeases one of you then it feels like they have displeased two. To a manager you have become a team that has to be managed like a team. This could work in your favor, or it could work against one or both of you. HR may also see it as a legal liability.
 

Lenny

Well-known member
SUPER Site Supporter
What do you think?
If you announce it publicly, management may think that you two might put your interests above the interests of the business and not like it.

It could interfere with promotions too because, again, if one of you were the boss of the other, you will give them preferential treatment.
 

Answers Dan

New member
Oh okay thanks. A legal liability how so, or a power shift how so?
Like, say your office workers want to vote about something or your boss wants to know what the employees think about taking a particular decision. Where should the Christmas party be? Who deserves an award? Who deserves a promotion? It depends on if things like that will matter, and even when things like that don't matter people think that they do. On the other hand it may not matter if you're both call center workers or something where your 2 person team is insignificant.
 

Ironpony

Member
Oh so you are saying us two will both vote the same way and discuss it beforehand you mean? But what about co-workers who are just friends though? Workplace friendships are never frowned upon and those as well could be open to those same biases, couldn't they?

Well we both work in different departments of the company so I am not sure any decision making on our parts would cross over with each other though, at least not that I can tell so far.
 

Melensdad

Jerk in a Hawaiian Shirt & SNOWCAT Moderator
Staff member
GOLD Site Supporter
Generally I would say it is up to the lady.
 

echo

Active member
What do you mean?
If you hurt her feelings, she can report you and this could get you fired or transferred.
One of our girls reported an employee for looking at her with lust in his eye's.
It has been over 50 years ago and we still don't know what to do to the guy.
 

Ironpony

Member
But if she were to admit the relationship, wouldn't she be admitting herself in it as well since she is just as guilty of the relationship as I am?
 
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