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  1. lifesaver91958

    St Patricks Day Wish...

  2. lifesaver91958

    Happy Valentines Day to Everyone!

  3. lifesaver91958

    This Cat Betrayed His Girlfriend

    YouTube - This Cat Betrayed His Girlfriend
  4. lifesaver91958

    Real Advertisements

    Supposedly, these are actual advertisements that have appeared in papers across the country. Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family. A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms. Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35...
  5. lifesaver91958

    One Liners

    Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself,'Lillian, you should have remained a virgin.' - Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter) <><> Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that...
  6. lifesaver91958

    Mermaid or a Whale

    Recently, in large French city, a poster featuring a young, thin and tan woman appeared in the window of a gym. It said: ¨THIS SUMMER DO YOU WANT TO BE A MERMAID OR A WHALE?¨ A middle aged woman, whose physical characteristics did not match those of the woman on the poster, responded publicly...
  7. lifesaver91958

    Free Samples........

    http://www.bestemeril.com/sample.asp
  8. lifesaver91958

    Free Box of Lipton Tea

    Call 1-888-435-3639 and follow automated instructions to receive a coupon for a free box of Lipton tea. One coupon per household.
  9. lifesaver91958

    My Favorite Things

    It wouldn't be funny if it weren't so true... Julie Andrews turned 69 and to commemorate her 69th birthday on October 1, actress/vocalist Julie Andrews made a special appearance at Manhattan 's Radio City Music Hall for the benefit of the AARP. One of the musical numbers she performed was "My...
  10. lifesaver91958

    The Man Joke...

    Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down. Man: Your place or mine? Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine. Man: So, what do you do for a living? Woman: I'm a female impersonator. Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?v Woman: Do not enter. Man: How do...
  11. lifesaver91958

    Only Hugh

    Once upon a time, there was a village that had a local monastary. The monks were happy, but there was a slight problem. The monastery was falling apart, and the funds collected from charity and offerings simply weren't enough. So, a few of the more entrepeunering monks decided to set up a flower...
  12. lifesaver91958

    The Broken Lawnmower

    Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is usually the husband. When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first: the truck, the car, e-mail...
  13. lifesaver91958

    Skydiving gone wrong

    YouTube - Skydiving gone bad! :yum::yum::yum::yum:
  14. lifesaver91958

    Time for the confession

    Catholic guy goes into the confessional box. He notices one wall a fully equipped bar with Guinness on tap. On the other wall is a dazzling array of the finest cuban cigars. Then the priest comes in. "Father, forgive me, for it's been a long time since I've been to confession, but I must admit...
  15. lifesaver91958

    Underwear is important

    If you don't laugh out loud at this one, call the morgue and reserve a tray, because yu are dead. Always wear clean underwear in public, especially when working under your vehicle... From the Northwest Florida Daily News comes this story of a Crestview couple who drove their car to Wal-Mart...
  16. lifesaver91958

    Apple and Almond Muesli

    1/2 cup dry quick cooking rolled oats 1/2 cup milk 1 teaspoon honey 1/2 small apple, chopped 2 tablespoons sliced almonds Soak raw oats in milk for 15 minutes. Stir in honey, apples and almonds.
  17. lifesaver91958

    Lemon Broccoli Pasta

    2 cups chopped broccoli 2 cloves garlic, minced 1 teaspoon olive oil 1 lemon, juice and zest 1-1/2 tablespoon light butter 1/4 cup canned white beans, drained 1 cup cooked whole grain penne 1 tablespoon pine nuts Cook broccoli and garlic in skillet with oil until tender. Stir in lemon juice...
  18. lifesaver91958

    Ranch Turkey Pita

    1 cup shredded romaine lettuce 1/2 cup chopped tomatoes 1/2 cup chopped cucumbers 2 tablespoons ranch dressing 1 (6-1/2-inch) whole wheat pita 1-1/2 oz. sliced turkey breast 1 mediun apple Toss vegetables with dressing. Stuff into pita with turkey. Serve with apple on the side.
  19. lifesaver91958

    Creamy Oatmeal with Pears & Honey

    1/2 cup dry quick-cooking rolled oats 1 cup milk 1 teaspoon honey 1/2 small pear, cored and chopped cook oats and milk in a saucepan for 5 minutes over medium heat, stirring. reduce heat to low; simmer for 1 minute, then add honey and pear. Serve warm.
  20. lifesaver91958

    Chicken & Peanut Stir-Fry

    1 clove garlic, minced 1 teaspoon grated fresh ginger 2 teaspoons olive oil 1 tablespoon soy sauce 2 cups frozen mixed vegetables 3/4 cup cooked brown rice 1/4 cup chopped chicken breast 1 tablespoon chopped peanuts Saute garlic and ginger in oil. Add remaining ingredients, cook until heated.
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