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Recent content by lifesaver91958

  1. lifesaver91958

    a sweet story

    :yum::yum::yum::yum: Too Funny, Too Funny :yum::yum::yum::yum:
  2. lifesaver91958

    St Patricks Day Wish...

  3. lifesaver91958

    Happy Valentines Day to Everyone!

  4. lifesaver91958

    This Cat Betrayed His Girlfriend

    YouTube - This Cat Betrayed His Girlfriend
  5. lifesaver91958

    Real Advertisements

    Supposedly, these are actual advertisements that have appeared in papers across the country. Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family. A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms. Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35...
  6. lifesaver91958

    One Liners

    Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself,'Lillian, you should have remained a virgin.' - Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter) <><> Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that...
  7. lifesaver91958

    Mermaid or a Whale

    Recently, in large French city, a poster featuring a young, thin and tan woman appeared in the window of a gym. It said: ¨THIS SUMMER DO YOU WANT TO BE A MERMAID OR A WHALE?¨ A middle aged woman, whose physical characteristics did not match those of the woman on the poster, responded publicly...
  8. lifesaver91958

    Free Samples........

  9. lifesaver91958

    Free Box of Lipton Tea

    Call 1-888-435-3639 and follow automated instructions to receive a coupon for a free box of Lipton tea. One coupon per household.
  10. lifesaver91958

    My Favorite Things

    It wouldn't be funny if it weren't so true... Julie Andrews turned 69 and to commemorate her 69th birthday on October 1, actress/vocalist Julie Andrews made a special appearance at Manhattan 's Radio City Music Hall for the benefit of the AARP. One of the musical numbers she performed was "My...
  11. lifesaver91958

    The Man Joke...

    Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down. Man: Your place or mine? Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine. Man: So, what do you do for a living? Woman: I'm a female impersonator. Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?v Woman: Do not enter. Man: How do...
  12. lifesaver91958

    Only Hugh

    Once upon a time, there was a village that had a local monastary. The monks were happy, but there was a slight problem. The monastery was falling apart, and the funds collected from charity and offerings simply weren't enough. So, a few of the more entrepeunering monks decided to set up a flower...
  13. lifesaver91958

    The Broken Lawnmower

    Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is usually the husband. When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first: the truck, the car, e-mail...
  14. lifesaver91958

    Skydiving gone wrong

    YouTube - Skydiving gone bad! :yum::yum::yum::yum:
  15. lifesaver91958

    Time for the confession

    Catholic guy goes into the confessional box. He notices one wall a fully equipped bar with Guinness on tap. On the other wall is a dazzling array of the finest cuban cigars. Then the priest comes in. "Father, forgive me, for it's been a long time since I've been to confession, but I must admit...