Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard when he lives in the jungle without a razor?
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?
Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?
What is the speed of darkness?
Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up every two hours?
If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?
Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Did you ever stop and...
(NOTE: This was written back on February 3, 1984, but you'll swear it was written yesterday. Someone along the line modified it since we see Iraq and others mentioned.)
Charley Reese's Final column!
A very interesting column.
Charley Reese's final column for the Orlando Sentinel... He has been a journalist for 49 years. He is retiring and this is HIS LAST COLUMN.
Be sure to read the Tax List at the end.
Charlie Reese, a retired reporter for the Orlando Sentinel, has hit the nail directly on the head, defining clearly who it is that in the final analysis must assume responsibility for the judgments made that impact each one of us every day. It's a short but good read. Worth the time. Worth remembering!
545 vs. 300,000,000 People
-By Charlie Reese
Politicians are the only people in the world who create problems and then campaign against them.
Have you ever wondered, if both the Democrats and the Republicans are against deficits, WHY do we have deficits?
Have you ever wondered, if...
That moment when someone says, "I can't believe you would vote for Trump.”I simply reply,
“I'm not voting for Trump.”I'm voting for the First Amendment and freedom of speech.
I'm voting for the Second Amendment and my right to defend my life and my family.
I'm voting for the next Supreme Court Justice(s) to protect the Constitution and the Bill of Rights.
I’m voting for the continued growth of my retirement 401K and the stock market.
I’m voting for a return of our troops from foreign countries and the end to America’s involvement in foreign conflicts.
I'm voting for the Electoral College & the Republic we live in.
I'm voting for the Police to be respected once again and to ensure Law & Order.
I’m voting for the continued appointment of Federal Judges who respect the Constitution and the Bill of Rights.
I’m voting for our jobs to remain in America and not be outsourced all over again to China, Mexico, and other foreign countries again.
I’m voting for secure borders and...
LET'S GO OUT TO EAT 2020 STYLE
1. Arrive at restaurant, fish your three month old single-use surgical mask out of car's filthy cupholder (still slightly sticky from this morning's 84oz diet Pepsi).
2. Strap up with three month old single-use surgical mask.
*MAGICAL ANTI-GERM BARRIER ENGAGED!!!*
3. Proceed into restaurant, opening door with same handle grabbed by 200 people so far today.
4. Hostess has immediate seating for your woke party of three. Walk past entire restaurant of unmasked people. It's ok, they're sitting.
5. Sit down.
*SEATED ANTI-GERM FORCEFIELD ENGAGED!!!*
6. Safely within your anti-germ forcefield, remove mask. Browse menu while making relaxed inhales of the same recirculated AC air previously inside the lungs of the 200 people that also grabbed the door handle.
7. Waitress drops off drinks bare handed.
8. Grab drink with your bare hand. Sip leisurely, secure in knowing you're within your anti-germ forcefield of seatedness.
9. Too many drinks. Need to pee. Put on...
for myself, I really need a new fridge (my old one broke a few weeks ago) and I'm unable to aford a new one myself, so maybe it would be a good gift from someone.
my main wish though is that people can spend christmas together, and they won't be to affected by this virus. I'll be spending christmas on my own, but that's fine. I'm used to not having family around (we've not spoken for many many years)