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Just no. (long read)

Bannedjoe

Well-known member
My wife has a kid. He's about 45. Lives in KCMO
Has never accomplished anything in his life.
Has no car, nor a pot to pee in.
Never has, most likely never will.
It's a mystery how he's stayed alive as long as he has.
No one knows what he does with his money, but I don't think it's drugs.

I've met the guy the few times he's come to stay with us, and quite honestly, I don't like the guy. I can't even stand being around him.
It's the wife's kid, but even she admits he's worthless and a mystery.

Most of his life he's camped on people's sofas and worked temp jobs.
But he's never honest nor forthcoming about whatever is really going on with him at any time.

As I said, this kid has come out to visit a time or two, but has no idea how to cope with being in the middle of nowhere.
a half hour after getting here he's bored and wants to know where the shopping malls and record stores are, and thinks it's no big deal that we should make a 300 mile round trip to Vegas or Phx for his entertainment.

Never mind that a 300 mile round trip was just made to pick him up at the airport in phx or Vegas, and there'll be another to take him back.
He has no inclination about hiking or exploring the wilderness, nor wants to.

I have no real idea what he likes, except about the only thing he knows or talks about is the movie Pulp fiction. That's it. Oh, and I'm hungry, what's there to eat?

So, somehow, could be a lie (who knows?) he said he's been working for the USPS, and now for some reason, wants to transfer to Reno.
He says it's for the weather to avoid his yearly bronchitis, but as far as I can recall, the weather in Reno isn't that far off from KC.

So he tells the wife (they very rarely communicate) that he's transferring to Reno, but for some unknown reason, wants to come stay with us for a couple weeks.


So far as I know, he hasn't secured the job 100% and has a whole lot of red tape, tests and other conditions that have to be met before he's hired, and can even be fired immediately should any of those tests fail if he's hired before they're completed. (He sent the wife this big 'ol PDF explaining some of this stuff)

Again he has no car, nor has he secured a place in Reno to live.
Oh, by the way, Nevada was just shut down for 30 days starting at noon today.
So, somehow he thinks we'll drive the 300 miles to do the airport thing, put up with his worthless ass for a few weeks, and feed him, then make a 1200 mile round trip to drop him in Reno???

Something else, our home is like a one room 700sqft efficiency apt.
There's no room for him here, and at times, it's a little cramped for just the wife and I. More her than I though.

That leaves the sofa, which resides at the foot of our bed.

So seriously, there's no room for him.
And there's nothing here for him to do, and I'll be damned if I'm going to trip over him all day inside the house, feed him, entertain him, or watch him sit in front of the TV all day.

His plan is very short sighted, and poorly planned out without a backup plan should the job fall through, and again, even if he gets the job, where is he going to stay, and how is he going to get to work and back?

And what if the whole plan fails, what's he gonna do, have us pick him up to come live with us? I don't think so.

So, the wife has told him many times through email, that his plan is stupid, prone to failure and not well thought out.
She has told him to just hunker down where he's at, keep his job, and wait to see how the world settles out after awhile.
He doesn't listen, and just doesn't see how this isn't the thing to be doing right now.
At first the wife hesitantly told him she'd think about it, then thought it through, and firmly decided the whole thing was a bad idea, but in so many words can't quite tell the kid no.

So I told her I'd be happy to.
And I did.
I explained everything I already mentioned above, plus the fact that we aren't his personal shuttle service, I had no desire to support him on any level, and that honestly, I just don't want him here.
(Seriously, this guy is really creepy, and I wouldn't feel comfortable in my own home and would feel like I needed to hide my keys and lock up my guns kinda creepy)

I also told him that I thought his plan was bad and I personally wanted neither myself nor my home involved with any part of it.
And then wished him good luck.

And on top of it all, I'll be f**ked in the butt if I'm letting some asshole who I don't like, travel all through the airport system in KC, then fly in a cooped up plane, land in PHX go through their whole airport, then come live in my house for two weeks.
I'm not all germaphobe like some are right now, but really, who in their right mind would play such a game of Russian roulette?

This stupid kid is emailing me, well, can I just stay for a week?
I'm telling him no, period, not happening, stay home.
But, but, you're telling me that me and my Mom can't see each other????

Jesus tap dancing Christ, what part of this whole thing don't you understand???
I hate this kid.
Besides everything else, the toll it would put on my marriage could be devastating.
When he's here, they are just short of a constant argument about things, I want to kill him, and I want to slap her for even birthing him.

Furthermore, I went on to explain to him that his mother's health has been rather compromised for sometime, with high BP, heart, kidney, and a few other issues.
Hell if I know, but I surely don't want to see what could happen to her should she contract this virus.

Mom!!!!!! Joe's being an asshole to me!!!!!

If this little bastard shows up at my door.....(recanted)
 

waybomb

Well-known member
GOLD Site Supporter
Just say no, Joe!
Don't fret over it; which it sounds as if you are. It's not your problem, nor your wife's problem. He's four teenagers old. He shoulda done something three teenagers ago.
Just say no!
 

m1west

Well-known member
GOLD Site Supporter
My wife has a kid. He's about 45. Lives in KCMO
Has never accomplished anything in his life.
Has no car, nor a pot to pee in.
Never has, most likely never will.
It's a mystery how he's stayed alive as long as he has.
No one knows what he does with his money, but I don't think it's drugs.

I've met the guy the few times he's come to stay with us, and quite honestly, I don't like the guy. I can't even stand being around him.
It's the wife's kid, but even she admits he's worthless and a mystery.

Most of his life he's camped on people's sofas and worked temp jobs.
But he's never honest nor forthcoming about whatever is really going on with him at any time.

As I said, this kid has come out to visit a time or two, but has no idea how to cope with being in the middle of nowhere.
a half hour after getting here he's bored and wants to know where the shopping malls and record stores are, and thinks it's no big deal that we should make a 300 mile round trip to Vegas or Phx for his entertainment.

Never mind that a 300 mile round trip was just made to pick him up at the airport in phx or Vegas, and there'll be another to take him back.
He has no inclination about hiking or exploring the wilderness, nor wants to.

I have no real idea what he likes, except about the only thing he knows or talks about is the movie Pulp fiction. That's it. Oh, and I'm hungry, what's there to eat?

So, somehow, could be a lie (who knows?) he said he's been working for the USPS, and now for some reason, wants to transfer to Reno.
He says it's for the weather to avoid his yearly bronchitis, but as far as I can recall, the weather in Reno isn't that far off from KC.

So he tells the wife (they very rarely communicate) that he's transferring to Reno, but for some unknown reason, wants to come stay with us for a couple weeks.


So far as I know, he hasn't secured the job 100% and has a whole lot of red tape, tests and other conditions that have to be met before he's hired, and can even be fired immediately should any of those tests fail if he's hired before they're completed. (He sent the wife this big 'ol PDF explaining some of this stuff)

Again he has no car, nor has he secured a place in Reno to live.
Oh, by the way, Nevada was just shut down for 30 days starting at noon today.
So, somehow he thinks we'll drive the 300 miles to do the airport thing, put up with his worthless ass for a few weeks, and feed him, then make a 1200 mile round trip to drop him in Reno???

Something else, our home is like a one room 700sqft efficiency apt.
There's no room for him here, and at times, it's a little cramped for just the wife and I. More her than I though.

That leaves the sofa, which resides at the foot of our bed.

So seriously, there's no room for him.
And there's nothing here for him to do, and I'll be damned if I'm going to trip over him all day inside the house, feed him, entertain him, or watch him sit in front of the TV all day.

His plan is very short sighted, and poorly planned out without a backup plan should the job fall through, and again, even if he gets the job, where is he going to stay, and how is he going to get to work and back?

And what if the whole plan fails, what's he gonna do, have us pick him up to come live with us? I don't think so.

So, the wife has told him many times through email, that his plan is stupid, prone to failure and not well thought out.
She has told him to just hunker down where he's at, keep his job, and wait to see how the world settles out after awhile.
He doesn't listen, and just doesn't see how this isn't the thing to be doing right now.
At first the wife hesitantly told him she'd think about it, then thought it through, and firmly decided the whole thing was a bad idea, but in so many words can't quite tell the kid no.

So I told her I'd be happy to.
And I did.
I explained everything I already mentioned above, plus the fact that we aren't his personal shuttle service, I had no desire to support him on any level, and that honestly, I just don't want him here.
(Seriously, this guy is really creepy, and I wouldn't feel comfortable in my own home and would feel like I needed to hide my keys and lock up my guns kinda creepy)

I also told him that I thought his plan was bad and I personally wanted neither myself nor my home involved with any part of it.
And then wished him good luck.

And on top of it all, I'll be f**ked in the butt if I'm letting some asshole who I don't like, travel all through the airport system in KC, then fly in a cooped up plane, land in PHX go through their whole airport, then come live in my house for two weeks.
I'm not all germaphobe like some are right now, but really, who in their right mind would play such a game of Russian roulette?

This stupid kid is emailing me, well, can I just stay for a week?
I'm telling him no, period, not happening, stay home.
But, but, you're telling me that me and my Mom can't see each other????

Jesus tap dancing Christ, what part of this whole thing don't you understand???
I hate this kid.
Besides everything else, the toll it would put on my marriage could be devastating.
When he's here, they are just short of a constant argument about things, I want to kill him, and I want to slap her for even birthing him.

Furthermore, I went on to explain to him that his mother's health has been rather compromised for sometime, with high BP, heart, kidney, and a few other issues.
Hell if I know, but I surely don't want to see what could happen to her should she contract this virus.

Mom!!!!!! Joe's being an asshole to me!!!!!

If this little bastard shows up at my door.....(recanted)

Sounds like you did the right thing and your wife also knows you did the right thing, she just couldn't do it and thats to be expected.
 

Doc

Bottoms Up
Staff member
GOLD Site Supporter
:agree: NO!!!! Is the only answer you (and he) can live with. Good luck.
 

Bannedjoe

Well-known member
Thanks for the reinforcement gang.
I didn't think I was being an irrational asshole, but sometimes it's good to check.
 

pirate_girl

legendary ⚓
GOLD Site Supporter
Sounds like he's well into the art of being a player, not to mention a liar and a big dreamer.
It sounds harsh, but kick him out.
If he's a big boy, he's going to eventually find his way in the world.
(Maybe).

Wow, by the way.
 

Bannedjoe

Well-known member
The little shit just texted his Mom.
He just landed in Phx.

Not sure how this is going to play out, but just hoping Mom is strong enough to resist getting sucked in.
This could become a real problem in a number of ways.
 

Bannedjoe

Well-known member
Be strong and say keep saying no!

The wife doesn't much want to talk about it.
I asked her what happens when he calls from town?
She said, if he shows up here, there's nothing she can do about it, she's not responsible for his actions.

On the same note, she said if any of my family members showed up, she wouldn't turn them away.

We never fight, but this has the potential to turn into one hell of one, even if nothing happens.
 

Doc

Bottoms Up
Staff member
GOLD Site Supporter
Not that you need it but the corona virus gives you yet another reason to say no way in H. is he coming to your home. How much is a bus ticket to Reno? Or he can use his thumb.
 

FrancSevin

Proudly Deplorable
GOLD Site Supporter
So long as someone will put up with it, freeloaders will always have a home.

From the Steve McQueen Movie "Sand Pebbles" "Everyone should earn their own rice bowl."

Put another way, If you give a man a fish, you feed him for a day. If you teach a man how to fish, some might well just sit in your boat and drink your beer whilst doing it.

Kick this SOB to the wind. In reality, you might well be doing him a favor. Or you might just force him to find another sucker.

Say no without guilt and be done with it.
 

Bannedjoe

Well-known member
Something just occurred to me as I sat here about to fume.

We had a good deal of rain in the last few days.
There's a wash that has to be crossed to get into my neck of the woods.
It's running real good right now.
He ain't gettin' in here.:clap:
 

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Bannedjoe

Well-known member
A temporary reprieve.

At the end of the day,,,;YOU still have to act.

This thing will run for weeks now.

It's another reason we keep a lot of supplies on hand.
There's been times where it will run even wider and deeper lasting more than a month or two.
It's a long and sometimes treacherous ride out of here on the back roads.
 

tiredretired

The Old Salt
SUPER Site Supporter
I would keep that son of a bitch working so hard just keeping up with me he would be catching the next Greyhound back to his adobe. His ass wouldn't see that sofa for more than 5 seconds.

Nothing in the world like felling hardwoods, blocking, splitting, stacking and lugging cord wood to make the un-initiated cry for mercy. I've witnessed my grandsons crying like a jilted school girl before coffee break in the morning :th_lmao:
 

Bannedjoe

Well-known member
I would keep that son of a bitch working so hard just keeping up with me he would be catching the next Greyhound back to his adobe.

Nothing in the world like felling hardwoods, blocking, splitting, stacking and lugging cord wood to make the un-initiated cry for mercy. :th_lmao:

Should by some miracle he were to make it to town, cross the river, and find our place....
I got tons of dirt to move, and trenches to dig in DG and clay.
But I'm certain he'd cry at just the thought.
 

Bannedjoe

Well-known member
It just gets weirder by the day....

The kid has been holed up in a motel in Phx since he landed.

I grilled him on the phone, only to find the "Job" with USPS isn't a secured job, it's more like an offer.
Which really means it's more like he submitted an application.
No one will really tell him whether there's any job there for him anymore.

I told him the chances of falling back and regrouping are better in Phx than in our little town of a few hundred.
There's many more places down there looking for help than there is here.

Has he even looked or tried?
I don't know, but I doubt it.

There's still no where for him to stay/sleep here at my place, except in a tent or my spare jeep Cherokee.
It got down to 33º here last night.
45 years old and the kid has never gone camping, and the heater in the jeep barely works.

I have a friend who has a house about 5 miles away that he abandoned over a year ago.
It's filthy, full of trash and rodents.
There's no electricity, sans a dilapidated solar system.
There's a well, but not sure if water makes it to the house, nor anything to run the pump.

I spoke with my friend who owns the place, and he said he'd rent it for a couple hundred a month if the kid would clean it up. (I'd have to pay two months up front)

The kid would probably vomit and shit his pants at the first site of a mouse or rat, but I threw this idea out at him, and I doubt he wants anything to do with it.

At this point he wants to spend what is getting down to his last dollars, and retreat back to KC.

He called the other day to inform us he was going back because some friends said they'd rent him something.

Yay!!! He's going home!

Three hours later they call and change their minds for whatever reason.

Last night he calls again saying he's still going back to KC.

He's smart enough to know he doesn't really want to come here, sleep out in the cold and be treated like a leper for a few weeks, as well as fully understanding even if he did, I don't want his ass here.

His Mom wants him to come here.
She's full blown freaked about this virus and is 100% convinced it's a bioweapon.
Again, there'd be nothing for him to do except sit in his tent and play with his phone.
They argued for some time last night about it.

He wants to go back to KC, and doesn't believe the virus is real, especially since some faggy looking dude named Dr Drew has other ideas.

She told him he'd better hurry and come up with a plan, he's supposed to inform her of it soon.

He wants to go back.
I want him to go back.
His mother is begging him to come here.

F me.
 

Bannedjoe

Well-known member
He's coming here.
He's not coming here.
He's going to take a bus.
No, he's going to rent a car.
Nope, car rental's closed.
He's taking a bus, but the bus doesn't come here.
He's gonna take the offer on my friend's house.
No, he's just gonna come for a week.
Maybe not.
He's............

Nope.

His Mom is fit to be tied with his stupidity, and his inability to listen and follow directions.
She's swirling the nervous breakdown drain.

She basically just told him to fuck off, go wherever the hell he wants, but not here, and to just let her know where, and when he gets there in case she needs to retrieve his body.
 

Bannedjoe

Well-known member
He just called from 50 miles away.
His Mom is probably going to go get him, and make him ride in the back of the pickup.

Fine, he can stay in a tent about 100 yards from the house.

And this is almost a serious question.

If someone who hasn't been quarantined, and has been out and about in airports, bus terminals and motels, whom you highly suspect has been contaminated approaches you, and you tell them to stay back, and they don't, would that be attempted murder and grounds for self defense?
 

m1west

Well-known member
GOLD Site Supporter
He just called from 50 miles away.
His Mom is probably going to go get him, and make him ride in the back of the pickup.

Fine, he can stay in a tent about 100 yards from the house.

And this is almost a serious question.

If someone who hasn't been quarantined, and has been out and about in airports, bus terminals and motels, whom you highly suspect has been contaminated approaches you, and you tell them to stay back, and they don't, would that be attempted murder and grounds for self defense?

Question: is the wife that rode in the car with him for 50 miles going to stay in the tent for 2 weeks with him because she is now exposed?
Answer: NO because before its over you are.:th_lmao:
 

Bannedjoe

Well-known member
Question: is the wife that rode in the car with him for 50 miles going to stay in the tent for 2 weeks with him because she is now exposed?
Answer: NO because before its over you are.:th_lmao:

No. He's riding in the back of the pickup truck.
 

Doc

Bottoms Up
Staff member
GOLD Site Supporter
He just called from 50 miles away.
His Mom is probably going to go get him, and make him ride in the back of the pickup.

Fine, he can stay in a tent about 100 yards from the house.

And this is almost a serious question.

If someone who hasn't been quarantined, and has been out and about in airports, bus terminals and motels, whom you highly suspect has been contaminated approaches you, and you tell them to stay back, and they don't, would that be attempted murder and grounds for self defense?
in the chess game of life he outmaneuvered you this time. To bad. You tried. He knew the heart strings to pull. Tough situation. Good luck staying safe.
 

Bannedjoe

Well-known member
We're on like day four or so of this shit.
I picked him up, and yes, I made him ride in the back of the truck the whole way.
He is currently residing in a tent.

I've rented the abandoned house for two months, and for the last two days, I've dropped him off in the morning, and picked him up in the evening.

His job is to clean it up and make it livable so he has a place to stay.
He's made a dent in the place, but has a way to go.

Yesterday I made sure that my little portable generator would run the well pump, and it does.

It's a pump up the hill to a tank and gravity feed to the house, or a spigot at the well head.
The holding tank is full of mold, so actual water running in the house is quite a ways out, but for now he can at least pump water into jugs or whatever.

He might just have to shit in the weeds for awhile, or manually fill the toilet each time.

Yesterday he got all the mice nests cleaned out of the gas range so he can at least heat water and cook.
I bought some propane, hooked it up, and the stove still works.

This guy has zero common sense.
Zero life skills, and I doubt he's ever camped a day in his life.
I don't know if he has the skills required to boil water on a stove.

He appears to be the equivalent of retarded 5 year old.

You cannot give him two tasks at the same time.
Such as go over there, do this, then grab that and come back.
You can only say, do this, and you'll be lucky if he remembers what he was supposed to do when he gets there.

He's so stupid, I'm afraid if I handed him a squeegee, he'd accidentally kill himself with it.

There has to be a light in there somewhere, but apparently in 40 years, no one has been able to find the switch.

I asked him how he could have been working for the postal service and not save any money.
It turns out he was spending most of his daily earnings on a $70 motel room every night.

Fortunately, he did show one good sign.
I have a killer rubber rattlesnake that I placed in his path before I summoned him to come to me.
He actually saw it before he stepped on it, so there's that.
But I'm afraid this guy is so stupid that he'll be the first person ever eaten by a polar bear in the desert.

I showed him how to operate the generator, and run a shop vac.
When I returned last evening, he had been running the generator for an hour or two on full choke.
He can't even tell when a small engine isn't running right and is smoking like all get out.

I really have no choice but to try and work with this guy, but you can't teach common sense.
You can give hands on instructions, and demonstrate, but if the person doesn't retain the info, or pay attention, it all seems for naught.

Fortunately, for me, his mother is also baffled at how dumb he is, so at least my take on this guy isn't one sided and I'm not all alone in my views.

I've laid down the rules as firmly as I can, and made them as simple as I can for him.
The first, stay the hell away from me.
Stay out of my home or any common areas.
Don't touch anything, including my dogs.
If it ain't yours, and I don't give you permission to touch it, just don't.

His mom is taking every precaution to keep away from him as well, and stands about 15 feet away when she talks to him outside.

I won't allow her to help clean down at the rental, nor allow her to drive him down there.
I do it, he rides in back of the truck, and this shit is costing me two hours a day of driving.
I have lots of other work I could be doing around here with that time.

I can hardly put into words how much I hate this idiot, and resent him plopping himself into my world.
 

m1west

Well-known member
GOLD Site Supporter
We're on like day four or so of this shit.
I picked him up, and yes, I made him ride in the back of the truck the whole way.
He is currently residing in a tent.

I've rented the abandoned house for two months, and for the last two days, I've dropped him off in the morning, and picked him up in the evening.

His job is to clean it up and make it livable so he has a place to stay.
He's made a dent in the place, but has a way to go.

Yesterday I made sure that my little portable generator would run the well pump, and it does.

It's a pump up the hill to a tank and gravity feed to the house, or a spigot at the well head.
The holding tank is full of mold, so actual water running in the house is quite a ways out, but for now he can at least pump water into jugs or whatever.

He might just have to shit in the weeds for awhile, or manually fill the toilet each time.

Yesterday he got all the mice nests cleaned out of the gas range so he can at least heat water and cook.
I bought some propane, hooked it up, and the stove still works.

This guy has zero common sense.
Zero life skills, and I doubt he's ever camped a day in his life.
I don't know if he has the skills required to boil water on a stove.

He appears to be the equivalent of retarded 5 year old.

You cannot give him two tasks at the same time.
Such as go over there, do this, then grab that and come back.
You can only say, do this, and you'll be lucky if he remembers what he was supposed to do when he gets there.

He's so stupid, I'm afraid if I handed him a squeegee, he'd accidentally kill himself with it.

There has to be a light in there somewhere, but apparently in 40 years, no one has been able to find the switch.

I asked him how he could have been working for the postal service and not save any money.
It turns out he was spending most of his daily earnings on a $70 motel room every night.

Fortunately, he did show one good sign.
I have a killer rubber rattlesnake that I placed in his path before I summoned him to come to me.
He actually saw it before he stepped on it, so there's that.
But I'm afraid this guy is so stupid that he'll be the first person ever eaten by a polar bear in the desert.

I showed him how to operate the generator, and run a shop vac.
When I returned last evening, he had been running the generator for an hour or two on full choke.
He can't even tell when a small engine isn't running right and is smoking like all get out.

I really have no choice but to try and work with this guy, but you can't teach common sense.
You can give hands on instructions, and demonstrate, but if the person doesn't retain the info, or pay attention, it all seems for naught.

Fortunately, for me, his mother is also baffled at how dumb he is, so at least my take on this guy isn't one sided and I'm not all alone in my views.

I've laid down the rules as firmly as I can, and made them as simple as I can for him.
The first, stay the hell away from me.
Stay out of my home or any common areas.
Don't touch anything, including my dogs.
If it ain't yours, and I don't give you permission to touch it, just don't.

His mom is taking every precaution to keep away from him as well, and stands about 15 feet away when she talks to him outside.

I won't allow her to help clean down at the rental, nor allow her to drive him down there.
I do it, he rides in back of the truck, and this shit is costing me two hours a day of driving.
I have lots of other work I could be doing around here with that time.

I can hardly put into words how much I hate this idiot, and resent him plopping himself into my world.

Good move getting him yourself or he would have been in the truck. I have step kids to, only sounds like mine turned out a little better than yours. My $.02 if you haven't figured it out yet, whine to the wife and let her be the heavy because if you don't and handle it yourself he will whine to her and the heavy will come down on you. Been there got the Tee shirt. Good luck
 

Bannedjoe

Well-known member
Good move getting him yourself or he would have been in the truck. I have step kids to, only sounds like mine turned out a little better than yours. My $.02 if you haven't figured it out yet, whine to the wife and let her be the heavy because if you don't and handle it yourself he will whine to her and the heavy will come down on you. Been there got the Tee shirt. Good luck

She's being pretty damn hard on him, way more than I've seen in the past. She's as pissed and frustrated as I am, maybe more.

This is his crash course in survival.

I've decided to try a new tack.

Today, (and it's going to cost me a great deal of time) I'm going to make him write out every instruction I give him.
 

Bannedjoe

Well-known member
My daughter has come to visit and/or live with us a couple times over 15 years or so.
She has always blown it and gets sent on her way.

From the time she was 14, she has always dressed and looked like a little slut or hooker.
Believe me, we've made fun of her to ourselves.

I told my wife the other day, as much as my daughter looks like a hooker, your kid looks like some sort of chester the molester, although I have no Idea what that would actually be.
She laughed, and said I could call him Chester.:yum:

I whacked a pretty good sized rattler at his up and coming new place yesterday.
I made him handle it and bury it.

This is gonna be a long road, but he actually dealt with it.
 

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