When God Created Fathers
When the lord was creating fathers, he started with a tall frame. And
an angel nearby said, "What kind of father is that? If you're going
to make
children so close to the ground, why have you put father up so high?
He
won't be able to shoot marbles without kneeling, or kiss and tuck a
child in
bed without bending."
God smiled and said, "Yes, but if I make him child size, who would
children have to look up to?"
And when god made father's hand, they were very large and strong. The
angel
shook his head sadly and said, "Do you know what you are doing? Large
hands
are clumsy. They can't manage diaper pins, small buttons, rubber
bands or
ponytails, or even remove splinters caused by baseball bats."
God smiled and said, "I know, but they're large enough to hold
everything a small son empties from his pockets at the end of the
day... yet small enough to cup a daughters face in his hands."
Then God molded long, slim legs and broad shoulders. The angel nearly
had a
heart attack. "Boy, this is the end of the week, all right!" he
sighed, "Do
you realize you just made a father without a lap? How is he going to
pull a
child close and hold him without the kid falling between his legs?"
God smiled and said, "A father needs strong shoulders to pull a sled,
balance a boy on a bicycle, or hold a sleepy head on the way home
from the circus."
God was in the middle of creating two of the largest feet anyone had
ever seen when the angel could contain himself no longer. "That's not
fair!
Do you honestly think those large things are going to dig out of bed
early
in the morning when the baby cries, or walk through a small birthday
party
without crushing at least three of the guest?"
God smiled and said, "They'll work. You'll see. They'll support a
small child who wants to ride a horse to the kitchen and back, or
scare off mice at the summer cabin, or display shoes that will be a
challenge to fill."
God worked throughout the night, giving the father few words, but a
firm, authoritative voice; eyes that saw everything, but remained
calm and tolerant. Finally, almost as an after thought, he added.
tears. Then he turned to the angel and said, "Now there you have it,
the complete dad!"
And the angel, shuteth up.
By Erma Bombeck
When the lord was creating fathers, he started with a tall frame. And
an angel nearby said, "What kind of father is that? If you're going
to make
children so close to the ground, why have you put father up so high?
He
won't be able to shoot marbles without kneeling, or kiss and tuck a
child in
bed without bending."
God smiled and said, "Yes, but if I make him child size, who would
children have to look up to?"
And when god made father's hand, they were very large and strong. The
angel
shook his head sadly and said, "Do you know what you are doing? Large
hands
are clumsy. They can't manage diaper pins, small buttons, rubber
bands or
ponytails, or even remove splinters caused by baseball bats."
God smiled and said, "I know, but they're large enough to hold
everything a small son empties from his pockets at the end of the
day... yet small enough to cup a daughters face in his hands."
Then God molded long, slim legs and broad shoulders. The angel nearly
had a
heart attack. "Boy, this is the end of the week, all right!" he
sighed, "Do
you realize you just made a father without a lap? How is he going to
pull a
child close and hold him without the kid falling between his legs?"
God smiled and said, "A father needs strong shoulders to pull a sled,
balance a boy on a bicycle, or hold a sleepy head on the way home
from the circus."
God was in the middle of creating two of the largest feet anyone had
ever seen when the angel could contain himself no longer. "That's not
fair!
Do you honestly think those large things are going to dig out of bed
early
in the morning when the baby cries, or walk through a small birthday
party
without crushing at least three of the guest?"
God smiled and said, "They'll work. You'll see. They'll support a
small child who wants to ride a horse to the kitchen and back, or
scare off mice at the summer cabin, or display shoes that will be a
challenge to fill."
God worked throughout the night, giving the father few words, but a
firm, authoritative voice; eyes that saw everything, but remained
calm and tolerant. Finally, almost as an after thought, he added.
tears. Then he turned to the angel and said, "Now there you have it,
the complete dad!"
And the angel, shuteth up.
By Erma Bombeck
