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How To Shower......

Galvatron

Spock and Galvatron < one and the same
How To Shower Like a Woman

Take off clothes and place them sectioned in laundry basket according to lights and darks.

Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.

If you see partner along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups / leg-lifts, etc.

Get in the shower.

Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.

Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins...

Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with jojoba.

Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red...

Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. Rinse conditioner off hair.

Shave armpits and legs.

Turn off shower.

Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.

Spray mold spots with Tile cleaner.

Get out of shower.

Dry with towel the size of a small country.

Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see partner along the way, cover up any exposed areas.


How To Shower Like a Man

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.

Walk naked to the bathroom.

If you see partner along the way, shake willy at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.

Look at your manly physique in the mirror.

Admire the size of your willy and scratch your bum.

Get in the shower.


Wee.

Wash your face.

Wash your armpits.

Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.

Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. Wash your bum, leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on the soap.

Wash your hair.

Make a Shampoo Mohican.

Wee again.

Rinse off and get out of shower.

Partially dry off.

Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath the whole time.

Admire willy size in mirror again. Take special note that it seems bigger after the hot shower.

Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. Return to bedroom with towel around waist.

If you pass partner, pull off towel, shake willy at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.

Throw wet towel on bed.
 

muleman

Gone But Not Forgotten
GOLD Site Supporter
You obviously don't have the extra large shower with seats in the corners and separate shower controls and shower heads. With independent lines to each shower control you can let her select her own temp while you control yours. Then you grad that big old loufa sponge and lather it up and scrub HER back and bum for her. You also wash anything else you can get to without getting hit too hard.:clap::clap::clap::yum::yum:
 

JEV

Mr. Congeniality
GOLD Site Supporter
Sounds just like the way I shower, right down to the woo-woo! I try not to twirl my willie too much, because it can cause an imbalance and I have been known to knock myself over like an imbalanced washing machine.:yum:
 

Rusty Shackleford

Automotive M.D.
SUPER Site Supporter
as far as the mens shower part, i was told by Muley that men also sing showtunes and tuck their junk under to see what they'd look like as a woman....

least thats what Mule tells me :confused2:

either way i changed my phone number. no more of THOSE phone calls at 3am :yum::yum::yum::yum::yum:
 

JEV

Mr. Congeniality
GOLD Site Supporter
as far as the mens shower part, i was told by Muley that men also sing showtunes and tuck their junk under to see what they'd look like as a woman....

least thats what Mule tells me :confused2:

either way i changed my phone number. no more of THOSE phone calls at 3am :yum::yum::yum::yum::yum:
Methinks you are blaming the esteemed muley for your perversions in the shower. Why would you want to denigrate such a fine, upstanding man like muley? Does Lithium know of your strange behavior with your "junk?"
 

mosi

Banned
Sounds pretty accurate for me.......except that I'm old and usually only good for one "WOO" :doh:
 
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