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  #421  
Old 10-05-2018, 05:59 PM
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Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

We were playing cards the other night (Euker) and my wife come up with this:

Know why democrats are not playing cards like they used to?
None of them want to name Trump.

LOL Pretty good for off the cuff.
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  #422  
Old 10-06-2018, 09:23 AM
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Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

I've got to lose16 pounds before this summer is over.

I'm selling my bowling ball.

If anybody is interested!
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  #423  
Old 10-07-2018, 09:04 AM
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Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

...
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  #424  
Old 10-07-2018, 06:49 PM
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Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

I sometimes wonder what happened to people who have asked me for directions . . .
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  #425  
Old 10-10-2018, 08:21 PM
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Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

I told myself I should stop drinking ....
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  #426  
Old 10-10-2018, 08:52 PM
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Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

Name:  Groaner_1539214273335.jpg
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  #427  
Old 10-11-2018, 08:39 PM
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Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

Light travels faster than sound.

This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
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Old 10-11-2018, 08:53 PM
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Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

We are about $16 trillion in debt.

To understand how much money that is,

just imagine grocery shopping at Whole Foods every day of the month.
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  #429  
Old 10-14-2018, 06:33 PM
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Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

The boss over heard an employee singing during work and it sounded awful.

He asked, "Is that in the key of L?"

Puzzled, the employee says, "Key of L? I'm not really sure?"

The boss replies, "Well it sure sounds like L to me!"
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Old 10-14-2018, 07:00 PM
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Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

I have now expanded My skill set.

I can now forget what I'm doing while I am doing it.
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  #431  
Old 10-15-2018, 10:41 PM
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Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

Two avid hunters take a hunter's safety class in which they learn that the universal signal for an emergency is three shots in the air.

Sure enough, on their next hunting trip the two men get lost.

One says to the other, "What shall we do?"

The other says, I know fire three shots in the air and someone may come to find us.

He fires off three shots, and they wait two hours. No sign of help.

What shall we do? Fire off three more shots. So he does. Three hours later there is no response and it is getting dark. The one says "Shall we try again?"

The other says, "I guess not... I only have two arrows left...
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  #432  
Old 10-22-2018, 04:40 PM
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Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

Me: it's not how many times you fall. It's how many times you get back up.

Cop: That's not how a field sobriety test is supposed to work.
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