Did Philip Fart?

The expressions are priceless!

Look at the Queen's face!

A fart is a pleasant thing,
It gives the belly ease,
It warms the bed in winter,
And suffocates the fleas.

A fart can be quiet,
A fart can be loud,
Some leave a powerful,
Poisonous cloud

A fart can be short,
Or a fart can be long,
Some farts have been known
To sound like a song......

A fart can create
A most curious medley,
A fart can be harmless,
Or silent, and deadly.

A fart might not smell,
While others are vile,
A fart may pass quickly,
Or linger a while......

A fart can occur
In a number of places,
And leave everyone there,
With strange looks on their faces .
From wide-open prairie,
To small elevators,
A fart will find all of
Us sooner or later.

But farts are all bad,
Is simply not true-
We must never forget.......
Sweet old farts like you!

http://prorege-forum.com/messages/836.html In case pics don't show.

He's farted many times...




1. China State Visit, 1986
If you stay here much longer, you’ll all be slitty-eyed.

2. To a blind women with a guide
“Do you know they have eating dogs for the anorexic now?”

3. To an Aborigine in Australia
“Do you still throw spears at each other?”

4. To his wife, the Queen, after her coronation

“Where did you get the hat?”


^look who's talking?^

5. When asked if he would like to visit the Soviet Union
“The bastards murdered half my family”

6. To a Briton in Budapest
“You can’t have been here that long – you haven’t got a pot belly.”

7. To a driving instructor in Scotland
“How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to get them through the test?”


8. After the Dunblane shooting
“If a cricketer, for instance, suddenly decided to go into a school and batter a lot of people to death with a cricket bat, which he could do very easily, I mean, are you going to ban cricket bats?”

9. To a student who had been trekking in Papua New Guinea
“You managed not to get eaten, then?”

10. To Elton John after hearing Elton had sold his Gold Aston Martin
“Oh, it’s you that owns that ghastly car – we often see it when driving to Windsor Castle.”


11. On the London Traffic Debate
“The problem with London is the tourists. They cause the congestion. If we could just stop tourism, we could stop the congestion.”

12. To the President of Nigeria, dressed in traditional robes
“You look like you’re ready for bed!”

13. Unknown
“If you see a man opening a car door for a woman, it means one of two things: it’s either a new woman or a new car!”

14. On key problems facing Brazil
“Brazilians live there”

15. To the matron of a hospital in the Caribbean
“You have mosquitos. I have the Press”

That's great CG!