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Considering adopting

NorthernRedneck

Well-known member
GOLD Site Supporter
Back to Eliana. She fit in so nicely in our family and we are fully prepared to care for her into adulthood.

That said, there's a bunch of political agency duristiction BS going on behind the scenes that will affect her and about 300 other kids in care.

Here's the background info. There are currently 3 foster care agencies in the city. The regular children's aide society that deals with all the non native children. And two agencies dealing with native children.

How it works with the natives is that they have designated treaty areas and each agency covers a number of different communities in those areas.

Recently the two native agencies began fighting over jurisdiction and who is actually going to care for the families and children who fall under their umbrella. It ended up in court and the outcome was that approximately 300 children under the agency we foster for have to be transferred to the other agency.

For us, that means a few different scenarios.

1. The other agency comes in and takes her and moves her to one of their homes. (They are short on homes.)

2. We could sign up to be foster parents with that agency and drop the one we're with. (Apparently they won't take non native foster parents so that's unlikely)

3. The agency we are with could sign an agreement with the other agency called an interagency service agreement or ISA for short to agree to watch over the other agency's files for them. This is still up in the air as the other agency was willing to do this and then changed their minds.

So we have a mess. The two agencies are squabbling over duristiction and 300 children are caught in the middle and are at risk of being removed from their current placements just before Christmas and stuck in homes wherever they can find.

As bad as it is for us, others have it worse. Friends of ours at camp have 4 foster children. 2 from each agency who have been with them for years. They are fully committed to caring for all 4 into adulthood but may be put in a position of having to choose between which children they want to keep. Imagine being in the position of having to stand your 4 children in a line and picking which two you want to keep.

I talk to myself to get an expert opinion.
 

NorthernRedneck

Well-known member
GOLD Site Supporter
Well, it saddens me to say that after 2 years, things didn't work out with elianna and she just wasn't happy and was making life difficult for everyone. We were fully prepared to raise her to adulthood but the stress was becoming more than anyone could handle. So we gave the agency notice and they had ten days to find her a new home.

We originally began our journey of being foster parents with intent to adopt. Eventually we had our daughter placed with us and when she became adoptable, we did. We had said that we would only do respite but took in elianna as an emergency. Then we agreed to keep her long-term. Now that she's going, we have decided to take a break from fostering as our children are getting older. Eventually we will have some time to ourselves, something we have never had.
 

NorthernRedneck

Well-known member
GOLD Site Supporter
Thanks. This wasn't an easy decision. She was moved yesterday. It never gets easy. We've had a few kids come and go and trust me. It never gets easier to see them leave knowing that someone you loved and cared for as your own is gone and you'll never see them again. How do you grieve the living?
 

Melensdad

Jerk in a Hawaiian Shirt & SNOWCAT Moderator
Staff member
GOLD Site Supporter
...How do you grieve the living?
You don't, you can't. This is one of those things where you pray she will find a family that 'fits' her better and that she 'fits' better. We can love children but maybe we don't fully understand them, or fulfill their needs, or provide for something that is lacking in their heart, even if we love them. Don't grieve for her, hope she finds what she needs.
 
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