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Male vs Female at the ATM Machine

Leni

Active member
> A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:
>
> ’Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.
>
> Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.
>
> After months of careful research, "MALE & FEMALE" procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender.'
> *******************************
> MALE PROCEDURE:
> 1. Drive up to the cash machine.
> 2. Put down your car window.
> 3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
> 4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
> 5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
> 6. Put window up.
> 7. Drive off.
>
> *******************************
>
> FEMALE PROCEDURE:
> (What is really funny is that most of this part is the truth!!!!)
>
> 1. Drive up to cash machine.
> 2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
> 3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
> 4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
> 5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
> 6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
> 7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
> 8. Insert card.
> 9. Re-insert card the right way.
> 10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
> 11. Enter PIN.
> 12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
> 13. Enter amount of cash required.
> 14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
> 15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
> 16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
> 17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of check book.
> 18. Re-check makeup.
> 19. Drive forward 2 feet.
> 20. Reverse back to cash machine.
> 21. Retrieve card.
> 22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided!
> 23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
> 24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
> 25. Re-dial person on cell phone.
> 26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
> 27. Release Parking Brake.
>
> SEND THIS TO A MAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH, AND TO THE LADIES who can handle it.... A lady sent it to me. She was laughing, too.
>
>
 

Snowtrac Nome

member formerly known as dds
GOLD Site Supporter
kind of sounds like my ex wife. the hand bag stuff sounds like my current wife. what you forgot to mention is how stuff get's lost in the woman's car because they keep such a nice house but their car's interior are pig pens. this comes from years of working in the auto repair trade, the 2 dirtiest cars are pizza delivery cars and females with car seat age kids.
 

Leni

Active member
Well, I'm just the opposite. My house is a mess but my car is squeeky clean.
 

FrancSevin

Proudly Deplorable
GOLD Site Supporter
What! No comments? Have I intimidated all of you that much?

No, not imtimidated but,,,,I din't know whether to laugh or cry.:unsure:


With the exception of the hand bag,,,,,My experience at the ATM is often more like the woman's than the man's.:doh:

A little embarrassed perhaps.....:sad:
 

Leni

Active member
It's a perfect example of why we have to be prepared before we go in to do business. When my German born father went in to colect Social Security he had all of his papers in order. The worker could not believe it. She had neveer ever had anyone come in with all of the documents they needed.
 

luvs

'lil yinzer~
GOLD Site Supporter
:biggrin: cute. only 1's i've used were not drive-thru lately. u hafta use them on foot or in-store @ many places. that was a hoot.
 
Last edited:

muleman

Gone But Not Forgotten
GOLD Site Supporter
You forgot about knocking the mirror into the poles guarding the machine and driving over the curb while missing the poles.:yum:
 
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