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  #501  
Old 03-14-2019, 08:49 PM
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Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

Waiter: How do you like your steak, sir?

Sir: Like winning an argument with my wife.

Waiter: Rare it is.
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  #502  
Old 03-14-2019, 08:53 PM
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Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

Insurance claim ...
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  #503  
Old 03-18-2019, 08:30 AM
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Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

How was your blind date?" a college student asked her roommate. "Terrible! " the roommate answered. "He showed up in his 1932 Rolls Royce." " Wow! That's a very expensive car. What's so bad about that?" "He was the original owner!
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  #504  
Old 03-18-2019, 08:31 AM
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Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

All men are born free and equal, but then lots of them grow up and get married.
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Old 03-18-2019, 09:34 AM
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  #506  
Old 03-18-2019, 09:34 AM
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  #507  
Old 03-21-2019, 04:14 PM
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Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

Julia's mother asked her, "Why are you feeding birdseed to the cat?"

"Because," Julia answered, "that's where my canary is."
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  #508  
Old 03-23-2019, 07:15 PM
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Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

I asked siri to list all of trudeau's lies. It hasn't shut up for 3 days.

Canadian eh!!!
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  #509  
Old 03-24-2019, 03:10 PM
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Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

I survived a bear attack with a .22 caliber pistol.

My buddy wasn't as lucky as I shot him in the knee.

Canadian eh!!!
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  #510  
Old 04-03-2019, 09:28 PM
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Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

I want to learn how to drive a stick shift.

However I can't find a manual.
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Old 04-03-2019, 10:45 PM
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Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

Oral vs Rectal ...
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  #512  
Old 04-07-2019, 06:49 PM
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Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

I just finished a book 786 pages.

That is a lot of coloring.
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Old 04-12-2019, 04:05 PM
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Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

I think men who don’t understand women fall into two categories:

Bachelors.

Husbands.
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  #514  
Old 04-13-2019, 09:43 AM
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  #515  
Old 04-14-2019, 10:08 AM
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Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

My doctor operated on the wrong side of my brain.

I have half a mind to sue
him.
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  #516  
Old 04-15-2019, 06:10 AM
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Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

You know when you buy a bag of salad and if you don't use it, it turns all brown and wilted.

Cookies don't do that. Just saying.....

Canadian eh!!!
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  #517  
Old 04-15-2019, 07:03 PM
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Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

Death and taxes are inevitable, but death doesn't repeat itself.

---------------

We wonder why they call them "tax returns"? when so little of it does.

---------------

Ambition in America is still rewarded . . . with high taxes.

---------------

America is the land of opportunity. Everybody can become a taxpayer.

-------------------

There was a time when $1000.00 was the down-payment on a car; now it's the sales tax.
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  #518  
Old 04-16-2019, 08:17 AM
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  #519  
Old 04-18-2019, 05:15 AM
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Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

Why did the rooster go to KFC?

He wanted to see the chicken strip.

Canadian eh!!!
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  #520  
Old 04-18-2019, 07:51 AM
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Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

Sausagephobia
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