Why did the Chicken cross the road?

TEACHER: To get to the other side.

PLATO: For the greater good.

ARISTOTLE: It is in the nature of chickens to cross roads.

KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.

TIMOTHY LEARY: Because that's the only trip the establishment would let it take.

SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

RONALD REAGAN: I forget.

CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you see, represents the black man. The chicken 'crossed' the black man in order to trample him and keep him down.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

MOSES (Monty Python style): And God came down from the Heavens, and he said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, ...and there was much rejoicing.

FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road for you to believe it?

RICHARD M. NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken DID NOT cross the road.

MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.

JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross the road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, "What the heck was the chicken doing wandering around all over the place anyway?"

FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000 (with integrated Internet Seed Explorer), which will not only cross roads, butwill lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook.

OLIVER STONE: The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the road?" Rather, it is, "Who is crossing the road at the same time, whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"

DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are genetically disposed to cross roads.

EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.

BUDDHA: Asking the question denies your own chicken nature.

RALPH WALDO EMERSON: The chicken did not cross the road...it transcended it.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain

COL. SANDERS: To fullfill his destiny in a 12 piece bucket with a side of mashed potatoes.

DARGO: The chicken was a special Hungarian chicken, free from line breeding for at least 45 years, and trained to obey my commands, and I commanded it to cross the road.

OKEEDON: The chicken saw the government handing out free cheese and felt entitled to its ration

JOHNDAY: Damn, I swear there was no chicken in the road when I was driving.

RICO304: John, if that is your story, how do you explain the feathers in your Ford's grill?

DAEDONG: The chicken believed a flickmixer would provide better flow on the other side of the lane.

BAD ATTITUDE: I grilled the chicken, it tasted good, want to make an issue out of it?

BIG DOG: The chicken was really a JD dressed up like a chicken and was being chased by a coyote.

JUNKMAN: We sell really good chicken food at my wife's store on this side of the road, the stuff on the other side is just foul food.

B. Skuka. There is a proven difference between a Rhode Island Red, and a Bantam, as to which one can travel the fastest, with the most amount of weight in the ballast box.

Mith. CRIPES!!!! I thought it was Ursla!!!!!

johnday said:

B. Skuka. There is a proven difference between a Rhode Island Red, and a Bantam, as to which one can travel the fastest, with the most amount of weight in the ballast box.

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Hey John, after all this time, you could at least spell my name right when you make fun of me I'm still trying to figure out which chicken's have backhoes that are useful and which chicken's backhoes are really just worthless baby toys and should be discarded in favor of a rented trackhoe/mini-excavator.

B_Skurka said:

Hey John, after all this time, you could at least spell my name right when you make fun of me I'm still trying to figure out which chicken's have backhoes that are useful and which chicken's backhoes are really just worthless baby toys and should be discarded in favor of a rented trackhoe/mini-excavator.

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AAHHH Geez!!!! What chicken???

Here's the R, sorry 'bout dat!!

And now that I'm driving, if I see that damned chicken, I will NOT slam on the brakes. That shoulder strap on the seat belt hurts when you do that.