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Why should couples get married?

Cool Rider

New member
[FONT=trebuchet ms,arial,helvetica]:tiphat:The media frequently reports that 50% of American marriages will end in divorce. [/FONT]With the high cost of getting a divorce should couples get married or live together?
 

Melensdad

Jerk in a Hawaiian Shirt & SNOWCAT Moderator
Staff member
GOLD Site Supporter
That statistic is not really an honest number.

If both partners come from solid families where their parents are still married then the odds of the couple getting a divorce are very low.

If one partner comes from a broken home and the other is from a solid family then the odds are still in their favor that they will remain married.

If both partners come from broken families then the odds tilt against them for staying married.

But on top of that there are other factors. Such as the 50% statistic also takes into account the divorced people who re-marry and the odds are they will also divorce.

A better questions for a couple that is considering getting married is why, if they intend to marry for life, would they consider 'living together' prior to marriage? Couple who 'live together' prior to marriage have a higher divorce rate than those couple who do not live together before marriage.
 

cowgirl

Silver Member
Site Supporter
I don't believe much in statistics, especially when it comes to peoples personally lives. I think divorce rates are higher today, because society is accepting towards divorce. In the past divorce was not accepted, so people stayed married no matter what. Those statistics include Hollywood, example Pamela Anderson. I myself think each individual couple should decide what is right for them-marriage and/or living together.

I don't believe for a second that living together with my boyfriend will increase are chances for divorce. Living with someone, puts everything about the person out there. There is no hiding things, and for me personally, I now all of his habits, moods, etc.. No surprises.
 

Cool Rider

New member
:tiphat:I think living together remove the pressure of being force to do something against your will. Marriage means less freedom and a sentence for life. I guess marriage can be good for those whose are religious.
 

nixon

Boned
GOLD Site Supporter
That was an absolutely mindless statement .You sound like a person that is totally insecure in Yourself . You don't think that dedicating Yourself to another will work . All that I can say is that it must be terrible to go through life thinking like that .
Hopefully You'll find a bond that will make You think differently .
 
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REDDOGTWO

Unemployed Veg. Peddler
SUPER Site Supporter
If a person is not committed enough to get married, then why live together?

Living together is also a commitment, but easier to break up.

If a person does not feel secure enough in the relationship to get married, they should not live together, but go through life in a series of one night stands.
 

Deadly Sushi

The One, The Only, Sushi
SUPER Site Supporter
then why live together?

The sex.... companionship.... they could leave if things go south. They dont have to pay for a wedding or those expensive rings.
 

Cool Rider

New member
That was an absolutely mindless statement .You sound like a person that is totally insecure in Yourself . You don't think that dedicating Yourself to another will work . All that I can say is that it must be terrible to go through life thinking like that .
Hopefully You'll find a bond that will make You think differently .

It is not mindless, it’s a choice, and if you feel that all marriages will last forever then keep on dreaming. I know it is a fact that some marriage will end up in divorces.

I'm not the one being mindless, :pat: it is a reality.
 

nixon

Boned
GOLD Site Supporter
It took You over an Hour to come up with this weak of a response :)
Where did I say that marriages will last forever ? If You can find it, Please link it .
I certainly hope that You get over what ever it is that turned You into the bitter person You've become . Get well soon .
 

nixon

Boned
GOLD Site Supporter
:wave:You must be married, because you can't seem to give a logical answer in the thread.

Again You give a mindless response . But to answer Your statement , Yes I'm married . In fact over 30 years . Now ,please get back on Your Meds . If You stay on them long enough, You might even find someone willing to put up with Your inability to make a cogent statement .
 

Cool Rider

New member
Again You give a mindless response . But to answer Your statement , Yes I'm married . In fact over 30 years . Now ,please get back on Your Meds . If You stay on them long enough, You might even find someone willing to put up with Your inability to make a cogent statement .

:moon:That the best you can do. Not only are you pussy whip, but you also very well trained.
 

nixon

Boned
GOLD Site Supporter
What can I say . You win through the shear logic of Your argument :)
The Irony of Your post is beyond My ability to put into words . If You don't comprehend What I've written , Ask Your Mom when You come up from the basement . Love ,and Kisses .
But while I'm at it , The only relationship You've ever had was most likely with Your Hand . And it most likely fell asleep ...
 

Cool Rider

New member
What can I say . You win through the shear logic of Your argument :)
The Irony of Your post is beyond My ability to put into words . If You don't comprehend What I've written , Ask Your Mom when You come up from the basement . Love ,and Kisses .
The thread is logical, but you just can't comprehend reality.
You haven't answer anything logical on topic why should couples get married or live together? All I heard from you is your ill remarks and being pussy whip.

Are you on medication or piss off with yourself?:coolshade I on the other hand don't use drug, but I bet you can't honestly say the same.
 

rback33

Hangin in Tornado Alley
SUPER Site Supporter
Nixon.. I have two questions....

1) Who let the little kid in?
2) Why do you keep arguing with said kid?

I must admit your responses to the teeny boppers idiocy made me :yum::yum:
 

Gatorboy

Active member
[FONT=trebuchet ms,arial,helvetica]With[/FONT] the high cost of getting a divorce should couples get married or live together?

It doesn't take a lot of money to get a divorce. What will cost you is if your "live-in roommate" runs off with everything. For there are NO LAWS in place for dividing property amongst roommates.

Good luck in your decision.
 

Melensdad

Jerk in a Hawaiian Shirt & SNOWCAT Moderator
Staff member
GOLD Site Supporter
I don't believe for a second that living together with my boyfriend will increase are chances for divorce.
I understand what you 'believe' but what you believe may not be based on fact.
A recent Penn State University study found that cohabiting before marriage is, in fact, linked to higher rates of separation and divorce. Why? Research psychologist Catherine Cohan, a co-author of the study, says the data suggest it has a lot to do with the easy-out situation cohabitation provides, as well as with the type of people who choose to live together before marriage. "Evidence indicates that people who live together have more liberal attitudes toward divorce, are less religious and lead unconventional lifestyles," she says. Often, people who choose to live together do so for convenience, not love. Living together is so strongly associated with divorce, Cohan says, that "if you take two identical twins, with all things being equal, the twin that lived together before marriage is twice as likely to get divorced as the other twin."

Or

Some Couples Face Longer Odds of Staying Married
(Lower divorce rate found for religious couples)

By: Laura Meckler
Date: 24 July 2002
Source: Associated Press (AP) [published in Tampa Tribune / Tampa Bay Online]
URL: http://ap.tbo.com/ap/breaking/MGAGZSIP14D.html
WASHINGTON (AP) - Hoping to avoid divorce? It helps if you're wealthy, religious, college-educated and at least 20 years old when you tie the knot. Couples who don't live together before marriage have a better shot at staying together, as do those whose parents stayed married.

By age 30, three in four women have been married, but many of those unions dissolve. Overall, 43 percent of marriages break up within 15 years, according to a government survey of 11,000 women that offers the most detailed look at cohabitation, marriage and divorce ever produced.

Black women are least likely to marry and most likely to divorce, with more than half splitting within 15 years. Asian marriages are the most stable, with whites and Hispanics in between.

Women are waiting longer to get married than they used to, and after a divorce, they are less likely to remarry than women once were. At the same time, couples are more likely to live together without getting married: Half of U.S. women had lived with a partner by the time they turned 30.

The survey, released Wednesday by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, found that 70 percent of those who lived together for at least five years did eventually walk down the aisle.

But these marriages are also more likely to break up. After 10 years, 40 percent of couples that had lived together before marriage had broken up. That compares with 31 percent of those who did not live together first.

That's partly because people who choose to live together tend to be younger, less religious or have other qualities that put them at risk for divorce, said Catherine Cohan, assistant professor of human development and family studies at Penn State University. But that may not fully explain it, she said.

"Many people enter a cohabiting relationship where the deal is, 'If this doesn't work out we can split up and it's no big loss because we don't have a legal commitment,'" she said. "The commitment is tenuous, and that tenuous commitment might carry over into marriage."

Still, many believe that living together first is an essential testing period for a relationship.

"Most couples who decide to move in together do so because they take marriage very, very seriously. They want to be absolutely sure this is the right person before they say, 'I do' for a lifetime," said Dorian Solot, executive director of the Boston-based Alternatives to Marriage Project.

But she added that expectations better be the same.

"If one of you thinks you're headed for the altar and the other thinks you're just splitting the cost of rent, you're both in for a surprise," she said.

The report, based on 1995 data, found other groups facing a high risk of divorce, including:

-Young people. Nearly half of those who marry under age 18 and 40 percent under age 20 get divorced. Over age 25, it's just 24 percent. The difference is maturity, says Chicago psychologist Kate Wachs.

"A lot of young people focus on right now, and if I'm not happy right now, I should get divorced," said Wachs, author of "Relationships for Dummies." Older people have more life experience and realize "if I hang in there, it will probably get better."

-Non-religious people. Of those who don't affiliate with any religious group, 46 percent were divorced within 10 years.

-Children of divorce. Women whose parents were divorced are significantly more likely to divorce themselves, with 43 percent splitting after 10 years. Among those whose parents stayed together, the divorce rate was just 29 percent.

"You may have had a good model for conflict resolution," Cohan said. Or, she said, parents have taught their kids that "sticking to a marriage is important and divorce is bad."

-Kids. Half of women who had kids before marriage were divorced in 10 years. Nearly as many couples who never had kids also wound up divorced.

Across the board, black women were less likely to marry and more likely to divorce. By age 30, 81 percent of white women have been married, vs. 52 percent of black women.

The report suggests part of the problem is a lack of men in the "marriageable pool," with disproportionate numbers of black men unemployed or incarcerated. People with low-incomes are also less likely to marry, and blacks tend to have lower incomes.
 

Deadly Sushi

The One, The Only, Sushi
SUPER Site Supporter
It took You over an Hour to come up with this weak of a response :)
Where did I say that marriages will last forever ? If You can find it, Please link it .
I certainly hope that You get over what ever it is that turned You into the bitter person You've become . Get well soon .

Was that directed towards ME? I see nothing 'bitter' in my comment.
 

Bobcat

Je Suis Charlie Hebdo
GOLD Site Supporter
Looky out! He's gettin himself a new set of choppers. He'll be flashin them all over town and dragging in the babes in no time! :thumb:
 

cowgirl

Silver Member
Site Supporter
B_Skurka

Once again most of your articles are based on statistic, which can be skewed to which ever side you on. For example, base on those articles my parents should be divorced. My mom was 18 and pregnate and my dad was 17 still in high school. They have been together for 40 yrs. For me and my significate other living together is a commitment. However, getting married costs money. I don't want a huge wedding but i do want something more than a vegas style. As for our beliefs in marriage, we both do not believe in divorce. We will get married when the time is right for us, and we choose to live together because we don't need a piece of paper to tell us we are forever committed.
 

REDDOGTWO

Unemployed Veg. Peddler
SUPER Site Supporter
B_Skurka

Once again most of your articles are based on statistic, which can be skewed to which ever side you on. For example, base on those articles my parents should be divorced. My mom was 18 and pregnate and my dad was 17 still in high school. They have been together for 40 yrs. For me and my significate other living together is a commitment. However, getting married costs money. I don't want a huge wedding but i do want something more than a vegas style. As for our beliefs in marriage, we both do not believe in divorce. We will get married when the time is right for us, and we choose to live together because we don't need a piece of paper to tell us we are forever committed.

Based upon this line of logic, what is the purpose of of a ceremony that is something more than a Vegas style wedding when you have been living together?

I have never been able to figure out the reasons behind a fancy wedding when the couple have living together for a period of time. To me this is like building the barn after the horse has run away.

However, each to their own.
 

Bobcat

Je Suis Charlie Hebdo
GOLD Site Supporter
Anyone seen my left sneaker? Sush have you seen......never mind.
 
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