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  #1  
Old 05-07-2016, 09:41 PM
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Melensdad Melensdad is offline
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Exclamation Goodbye F.F. ... looks like I'll be going to jail

Looks like I will be headed to jail as I will not be able to get the certificates in time

If anyone wants to email them, their email address is "THE U.S. CUSTOMS" <cbp.kevin@ok.com>

U.S. Customs and Border Protection
1300 Pennsylvania Ave NW, Washington, DC 20229,
United States.





Urgent Attention: Beneficiary,




I am Assistant Commissioner Kevin K. McAleenan head of Field Operations (OFO) of the U.S. Customs and Border Protection (CBP). We have just intercepted and confiscated two trunks at John F Kennedy International Airport in New York, NY 11430 coming from a foreign country.




We crosschecked the content of the boxes and found it contained a total sum of $4.1 million dollars. Also with one of the trunks were documents with your name as the receiver of the money. As we progressed in our investigations of the Diplomat which accompanied the trunks into the United States we learned that he was to deliver these funds to your residence as payment of an inheritance/winning, which was due to you.




Further checks on the consignment, we found out that the consignment paperwork lacked the PROOF OF OWNERSHIP CERTIFICATE AND LEGAL DELIVERY PERMIT CLEARANCE CERTIFICATE forms. We then confiscated both trunks and released the Diplomat.




The trunks According to section 229 subsection 31 of the International, Commerce Regulators Code Enforcement Guidelines, your consignment lacks PROOF OF OWNERSHIP CERTIFICATE AND LEGAL DELIVERY PERMIT CLEARANCE CERTIFICATE from the joint team of Homeland Security and therefore you must contact us for direction on how to procure the two certificates, so that you can be relieved of the charges of evading tax which is a jail offense under section 12 subsection 441 of the Tax Code. We will also be asking the IRS to launch an investigation of money laundering if you do not follow our instructions.




You are therefore required to contact me within 72 hours, at that point I will walk you through the process of clearing and claiming the money.




Failure to comply may lead to your arrest, interrogation and/or you being prosecuted in the Court of Law for tax evasion and or money laundering. You are also advised not to contact any bank in Africa, Europe or banking institution.





Yours in service,
Kevin K. McAleenan
Head of Field Operations (OFO),
U.S. Customs and Border Protection (CBP)

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Old 05-07-2016, 09:49 PM
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Default Re: Goodbye F.F. ... looks like I'll be going to jail

I'd have to change my shorts after getting that letter, from pissing myself from laughing so hard.
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  #3  
Old 05-08-2016, 01:32 AM
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Default Re: Goodbye F.F. ... looks like I'll be going to jail

No walk in Spain this summer for you my friend. You are going to jail and with your luck, you get the cell right next to Hillary.
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Old 05-08-2016, 08:11 PM
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Default Re: Goodbye F.F. ... looks like I'll be going to jail

Quote:
Originally Posted by Melensdad View Post
...You are therefore required to contact me within 72 hours, at that point I will walk you through the process of clearing and claiming the money..
Well, I know that I would call him first thing Monday
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Old 05-09-2016, 03:38 AM
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Default Re: Goodbye F.F. ... looks like I'll be going to jail

people suck. namely, i hear, in a jail-setting -
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Old 05-11-2016, 11:29 PM
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Default Re: Goodbye F.F. ... looks like I'll be going to jail

Those clever Nigerians are getting better. The language is about right and they have the correct address for the CBP HQ in
the Ronald Reagan Building. I give them an 8.5 out of 10.0 for Most Improved Performance by Scam Artists!
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Old 05-12-2016, 10:13 AM
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Default Re: Goodbye F.F. ... looks like I'll be going to jail

are you laundering money? shame on you
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Old 05-12-2016, 10:23 AM
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Default Re: Goodbye F.F. ... looks like I'll be going to jail

Put me on your visitors list .............
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