Giving Children Cellphones?

My neice is having a birthday and the lovely Mrs_B figured we would give her a cellphone. The child turns 12 years old.

• I feel that is too young to give that type of thing as a gift.
• I also figured it was inappropriate because I didn't know if my brother/sister-in-law would be opposed to their 12 year old having a cellphone.

So we stopped at the store and bought a cellphone. But this one is different.

The phone/service is called FIREFLY.
http://www.fireflymobile.com/phone/

It is a phone that ADULTS program with up to 20 phone numbers.
It does NOT allow text messaging.
It is a pay as you go plan where you buy your minutes by buying a credit card thing.
I actually like this system because it gives parents total control.
The phone doesn't have a keypad. It has an address book. The PARENTS input the names & phone numbers into the address book. The child can only call the people in the address book. There is a button with a lady and a button with a man, those are for direct calls to MOM and DAD.

Does anyone have experience with this system? Or has anyone given a young child a cell phone?

Any thoughts on cell phones and kids? Or on this system?

B_Skurka said:

Any thoughts on cell phones and kids? Or on this system?

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I think it's a family decision on whether a child should have a phone. For kids that are out a lot doing things with friends or school/church... activities, it may be appropriate. My kids are pretty young but if my 8 year old wants to do something away from me (e.g I'm outside working while she stays in the house), I just use FRS radios. Heck, they have a several mile range. I would check with the BIL/SIL before giving this gift.

A couple thoughts.

If the parents give the OK for the child to have a phone, are they on a phone plan where they can get an extra line for $10 or so? (My Verizon has that). You could consider going that route which may be less expensive for everyone in the long run. Once they get one, there's probably no going back so I'd consider the phone option over a several year period.

Many schools don't allow kids to have phones. They're up in the air about allowing the firefly type phone. You may want/need to check with the school as well as it's where the child is most of the time they're away from the parents.

Kids loose things... I would consider a phone that can be easily replaced. I read that Cingular offers insurance, but it has a $50 deductible. For the amount of the deductible, a regular cell phone (attached to the parents plan) can be purchased.

Too young. children that age should not be places where they could or would need a phone without the adults there.........with their phones.

Sorry Bob . but I see no reason why a 12 year old needs a cell phone. Mabey i am just an old Fart. but if she has to have one the one you mentioned seems like a pretty good way to control the usage.Things change over the years, 10 years ago i thohgt why the HELL would anyone need a computer in the house? Still wondering that but then it did get a few nice gas cans that i needed

Generally I agree with you guys that 12 is too young for a cell phone. In fact I think it is silly. But in this day and age the concept of kids and cell phones is pretty well accepted in many upscale communities and my niece lives in one of those areas where 'all the kids' have them. The beauty of the Firefly is that it gives parents control over all the outgoing and incoming calls because it only holds 20 phone numbers for outgoing calls and parents can block incoming calls from some or all numbers.

Kids at age 12 in the suburbs are getting more autonomy from their parents and are often not directly under their supervision. While I would never give my daughter a 'real' cell phone, I actually like the concept of the FIREFLY cellphone. I'm not sure my child's situation is remotely similar to my brother's child, but it seems to me a cell phone could teach some responsibility, budgeting, and act as a security blanket???

Uh, I don't even want to admit how many cell phones I have. When my kids are at athletic events and I'm not there, I like them to have the ability to call me at any time. It has come in handy more than once. With my older kids, I like to be able to call them to find out exactly where they are. With camera phones, they take a picture of where they are and send that to me if requested. As far as use, all of my kids know that I go over my cell phone bill (all 70 pages or so!) very closely each month. As a spot check, I often hand them copies of all calls they made and ask them to put the name of who they spoke with next to the number.

I don't want to sound like I'm too bad, but I do keep pretty close tabs on how the phones are used. Since they are not abused, I feel much better with my kids having the ability to get a hold of me and for me to be able to get in contact with them. To me, it's very much worth the expense. Since your gift would not be easily abused, I see no problem as long as the parents were okay with it. Once they know all the facts, I think they would like the idea. But, hey, that's just my opinion.

Hey Bob, Wabash is 11 - 0 as of today!

Re: Giving Children Cell phones?

I think that a 12 year old child needs a cell phone like you describe more than a adult needs a cell phone. For a 12 year old, it can be a lifeline in an emergency.
Most people don't know what courtesy means any longer and will be talking on the cell phone no matter where they are. I know of a funeral director that had so much of a problem with people and cell phones, they put up a sign at the entrance....... NO CELL PHONES ALLOWED. Personally, I detest cell phones.

For childern a telephone is an entertainment device. It is only occasionally a communication device. Have you seen your kids on the wired phone? Now imagine paying by the minute for that abuse. I'm not sure of what age someone is no longer a child though, given some of the behavior I've seen.

One of my colleagues gave his daughter a $10 per month add-on phone. The first month she ran up a $1,000 phone bill. It was legitimate, he paid it. He made his daughter watch while he smashed the phone with a sledge hammer. She didn't get the next phone for four years.

My kids are in their 30s. They can pay their own bills. My oldest is adamant about not giving her kids phones. Her quote is something along the lines as to when they can afford it.

Junk, I agree that a phone can be a lifeline.
Dave, I agree that a phone is most often an entertainment device.
Dargo, I hope that a phone is a useful electronic dog leash as you seem to have found it to be (and I like the picture phone concept).

In the case of my niece, I think the Firefly is perfect, and I think my daughter may end up with one at Christmas. My daughter gets an allowance, the fact that you have to re-charge the phone with a pre-paid card is great for teaching her how to budget her phone time, which in turn may teach her basic budgeting???


As the kids get older, a picture phone, or even a Nextel with GPS & camera would be even better. We switched from satellite to Nextel with GPS to track our truck drivers and give us added communications. That with a camera would be great for tracking a kid!!!

Possibly you should give your guys camera phones so they can send back pictures of the good looking women that they come across every day and tell you about. A picture is worth a thousand words....

Well as you know I just bought a phone about a week ago.

The only reason I bought it was beacuse people (who I do work for) wanted to contact ME and not home. Other than that I see no reason really to have a phone. Afterall we survived without them before right?

I dont see any reason for someone that young to have one, what would they actually use it for? Socialising should be done face to face and you guys have payphones if youre desperate right? What are Mrs B's reasons for giving a child a phone, or was it just a gift idea?

Its my opinion that you should definately NOT give ANYONE a phone. If they want one then they should be able to afford one, pay the bills etc.
If you want to teach the child lessons dont you think that getting your child a job (and then paying for a phone if they want one) would teach better budgeting, teach advance organisation (not just last minute over the phone) and teach how to actually talk to someone properly to their face.

If you want the child to have one for safety dont you think it would be safer not to have a child walking about with a highly desirable, stealable and expensive item in their pockets?
If youre thinking about the child calling up for lifts home etc didnt you get by when you were young?

As you might have guessed im not a fan of mobile phones, and my vote is not to give anyone a phone, especially someone that young, unless they really need it.

PS, no offence intended, just my opinion, use in a well vertilated area, aim away from face

I have to agree with our "Eccentric Englishman" on this. Some good points were brought up. I'm not sure of the quality of schools Bobs grandkid goes to, but here she would more than likely be a target for the up and coming little gangsters. If the phone could stay concealed, she would more than likely be OK. But kids are kids, and cellphones have become a status symbol amongst them. So, to answers Bobs question, I'd say "no" to the cellphone. Sure wouldn't want her to get hurt over something as menial as a cellphone.

Again I'm with Jim on cellphones. I absolutely hate them too. Yep, I've got one, only out of need though. I'm not always near a phone when the office wants me, or one of the Union members I represent. In fact, I don't even know my cellphone number. I carry a pager with something like 3 state coverage. I just tell people to page me. The pager is on vibrate, I like that feeling ya know, and the bloody cellphone is OFF.

Don't do it.

Providing a phone to a 12 yr old girl in her first year of junior high school is a step toward providing her with her own independence. This should be done only by her parents. If it is done by relatives then it weakens the bond between the parents and the child.

Soon enough they will be facing a struggle for independence and that should be carefully negotiated between that child and her own parents.

Also, the only way to determine the 'correct' phone for the kid is for you to watch a lot of 3pm television to see what is marketed to the jr high bunch. Nothing else would be acceptable. She is probably already at the age where she would be mortified to be seen by her friends carring a phone with a Mommy Button. I suspect those are marketed to fourth graders.

Bob, your heart is in the right place but this is an issue where the gift would open a Pandora's box. 'But you *can't* ground me! Uncle Bob told me all I had to do when I want to go somewhere unexpected after school is to call home and leave a message!'

Mith said:

Afterall we survived without them before right?

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You know, I wonder the same thing everytime I'm in an airport. At times I sit and laugh. For some reason, I think most people think it mandatory to be on their cell phone the entire time they are at an airport. I've flown for many years, and I do recall airports before the advent of cell phones. Yes, they did actually exist then.

California (and others with similar advice) . . . I am really torn on this whole thing. I will leave the decision to my brother and his wife. I will call him and tell him what I purchased and let him decide if I should give it to her. If he says no then I will simply get her a different gift. It just seems that when I am thinking like a 'parent' that I totally oppose this gift, but when I think like a kid then I would love to have it. Parents should have the final decision. So I will leave it up to my brother to decide.


As for cell phones in general, I typically have a very high cost unit, but I have never found cell phones to be anything other a a pain in the rear and I totally dislike them. The reason I use a high priced phone is simple, I like the functionality of having a PALM computer and a cellphone in one package. The Palm OS syncs with my laptop so I have all my addresses, phone numbers and email contacts in my phone. My calendar also syncs with my computer so looking at the phone tells me who I am meeting with, when, and even reminds me before the meeting starts. Because of travel I find the email features, with a full keyboard to be indespensible. My current and my last two phones have all had Palm OS computers integrated into them, I'd guess I've been using these things for at least 4 years. My latest phone allows my computer to connect up to the internet, without using wires between the phone and the computer so my phone can sit on my hip and I can surf do business, while sitting in an airport or riding in the back of a car. I live with a computer for my business, and simply could not operate without the functionality. The cellphone makes it easier to do that without me actually having to be at work. But I still hate cellphones! And I'll admit that most of my calls are not business related. But most of the minutes used by my phone are business related.

Nicely said California.

B_Skurka said:

I will call him and tell him what I purchased and let him decide if I should give it to her.

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Bob,
I wouldn't tell your BIL that you got it. It may be better to tell him you've thought of it. I don't know your BIL but some people may think that since you've already gotten it, that may change their decision by a percentage point or 2 (which may be the difference).