Forums Forums - Off Topic Forum FUN





Go Back   Forums Forums - Off Topic Forum FUN > Off Topic Forums > Junkman's Corner

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
  #321  
Old 05-04-2018, 11:30 PM
Doc's Avatar
Doc Doc is offline
Forum Admin

 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Ohio, USA
Posts: 32,086
Thanks: 13,657
Thanked 10,862 Times in 4,566 Posts
Doc will become famous soon enoughDoc will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

Yesterday at a job interview I filled my glass of water until it overflowed a little.

"Nervous?" asked the interviewer.

I replied,

"No, I always give 110%."
__________________
Scott me up Beamy.

Other Fun Forums:

Weekend Mudders + Net Tractor and RTV Talk + Net Cooking Talk
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Doc For This Useful Post:
Catavenger (05-09-2018)
  #322  
Old 05-09-2018, 09:19 PM
Doc's Avatar
Doc Doc is offline
Forum Admin

 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Ohio, USA
Posts: 32,086
Thanks: 13,657
Thanked 10,862 Times in 4,566 Posts
Doc will become famous soon enoughDoc will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

Me: What happened to you? You don't look so good.

Friend: I got stung by a brose.

Me: There's no b in rose.

Friend: There was in this one!
__________________
Scott me up Beamy.

Other Fun Forums:

Weekend Mudders + Net Tractor and RTV Talk + Net Cooking Talk
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Doc For This Useful Post:
jim slagle  (05-09-2018)
  #323  
Old 05-12-2018, 09:13 PM
Doc's Avatar
Doc Doc is offline
Forum Admin

 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Ohio, USA
Posts: 32,086
Thanks: 13,657
Thanked 10,862 Times in 4,566 Posts
Doc will become famous soon enoughDoc will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

A French guest, staying in a hotel in New York, phoned room service for some pepper.

"Black pepper, or white pepper?" asked the concierge.

"Toilette pepper!" said the Frenchman.
__________________
Scott me up Beamy.

Other Fun Forums:

Weekend Mudders + Net Tractor and RTV Talk + Net Cooking Talk
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Doc For This Useful Post:
jim slagle  (05-12-2018), NorthernRedneck (05-13-2018)
  #324  
Old 05-14-2018, 09:48 AM
Doc's Avatar
Doc Doc is offline
Forum Admin

 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Ohio, USA
Posts: 32,086
Thanks: 13,657
Thanked 10,862 Times in 4,566 Posts
Doc will become famous soon enoughDoc will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

Photons have mass?

I didn't even know they were Catholic.
__________________
Scott me up Beamy.

Other Fun Forums:

Weekend Mudders + Net Tractor and RTV Talk + Net Cooking Talk
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Doc For This Useful Post:
jim slagle  (05-14-2018)
  #325  
Old 05-16-2018, 09:20 PM
Doc's Avatar
Doc Doc is offline
Forum Admin

 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Ohio, USA
Posts: 32,086
Thanks: 13,657
Thanked 10,862 Times in 4,566 Posts
Doc will become famous soon enoughDoc will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

I saw in TV today that China announced it will no longer buy recycled trash from the U.S.

I don't have a joke here to tell you.

I'd just wanted to give a big round of applause to whatever genius has been selling our trash to China!
__________________
Scott me up Beamy.

Other Fun Forums:

Weekend Mudders + Net Tractor and RTV Talk + Net Cooking Talk
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Doc For This Useful Post:
jim slagle  (05-16-2018)
  #326  
Old 05-16-2018, 09:51 PM
Doc's Avatar
Doc Doc is offline
Forum Admin

 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Ohio, USA
Posts: 32,086
Thanks: 13,657
Thanked 10,862 Times in 4,566 Posts
Doc will become famous soon enoughDoc will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

My weight loss goal is,

to be able to clip my toenails and

Breathe at the same time.
__________________
Scott me up Beamy.

Other Fun Forums:

Weekend Mudders + Net Tractor and RTV Talk + Net Cooking Talk
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Doc For This Useful Post:
Danang Sailor (05-17-2018), FrancSevin (07-20-2018), jim slagle  (05-23-2018)
  #327  
Old 05-20-2018, 12:15 PM
Doc's Avatar
Doc Doc is offline
Forum Admin

 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Ohio, USA
Posts: 32,086
Thanks: 13,657
Thanked 10,862 Times in 4,566 Posts
Doc will become famous soon enoughDoc will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

I don't get many compliments.

So I was really surprised when Verizon called to say,

I had an outstanding account!
__________________
Scott me up Beamy.

Other Fun Forums:

Weekend Mudders + Net Tractor and RTV Talk + Net Cooking Talk
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Doc For This Useful Post:
jim slagle  (05-23-2018)
  #328  
Old 05-20-2018, 08:10 PM
pirate_girl's Avatar
pirate_girl pirate_girl is offline
Platinum Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Defiance Ohio
Posts: 40,850
Thanks: 5,696
Thanked 10,043 Times in 4,320 Posts
pirate_girl is on a distinguished road
Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

Attached Images
 
__________________
- My Lifeguard walks on water -
Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to pirate_girl For This Useful Post:
Catavenger (05-22-2018), Danang Sailor (05-28-2018), Doc  (05-23-2018), jim slagle  (05-23-2018), NorthernRedneck (05-30-2018)
  #329  
Old 05-23-2018, 10:35 PM
Doc's Avatar
Doc Doc is offline
Forum Admin

 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Ohio, USA
Posts: 32,086
Thanks: 13,657
Thanked 10,862 Times in 4,566 Posts
Doc will become famous soon enoughDoc will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

My neighbor knocked on my door at three in the morning today!

Can you believe that?

Lucky for him I was still up playing my drums.
__________________
Scott me up Beamy.

Other Fun Forums:

Weekend Mudders + Net Tractor and RTV Talk + Net Cooking Talk
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Doc For This Useful Post:
FrancSevin (07-20-2018), jim slagle  (05-23-2018)
  #330  
Old 05-27-2018, 09:28 PM
Doc's Avatar
Doc Doc is offline
Forum Admin

 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Ohio, USA
Posts: 32,086
Thanks: 13,657
Thanked 10,862 Times in 4,566 Posts
Doc will become famous soon enoughDoc will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

It is better to have loved a short woman, than never to have loved a tall.
__________________
Scott me up Beamy.

Other Fun Forums:

Weekend Mudders + Net Tractor and RTV Talk + Net Cooking Talk
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Doc For This Useful Post:
bczoom  (05-28-2018), Catavenger (05-28-2018), jim slagle  (05-29-2018)
  #331  
Old 05-29-2018, 09:19 PM
Doc's Avatar
Doc Doc is offline
Forum Admin

 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Ohio, USA
Posts: 32,086
Thanks: 13,657
Thanked 10,862 Times in 4,566 Posts
Doc will become famous soon enoughDoc will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

I loved it when my dad used put me inside a tire and roll it down a hill.

Those were Goodyears!
__________________
Scott me up Beamy.

Other Fun Forums:

Weekend Mudders + Net Tractor and RTV Talk + Net Cooking Talk
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Doc For This Useful Post:
jim slagle  (05-29-2018)
  #332  
Old 05-29-2018, 09:42 PM
Doc's Avatar
Doc Doc is offline
Forum Admin

 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Ohio, USA
Posts: 32,086
Thanks: 13,657
Thanked 10,862 Times in 4,566 Posts
Doc will become famous soon enoughDoc will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

I got pulled over by a cop tonight.

He asked if I had a police record.

Apparently "Roxanne" was not the answer he wanted to hear!
__________________
Scott me up Beamy.

Other Fun Forums:

Weekend Mudders + Net Tractor and RTV Talk + Net Cooking Talk
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Doc For This Useful Post:
Catavenger (06-18-2018), jim slagle  (05-29-2018)
  #333  
Old 06-03-2018, 09:07 PM
Doc's Avatar
Doc Doc is offline
Forum Admin

 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Ohio, USA
Posts: 32,086
Thanks: 13,657
Thanked 10,862 Times in 4,566 Posts
Doc will become famous soon enoughDoc will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

...
Attached Images
 
__________________
Scott me up Beamy.

Other Fun Forums:

Weekend Mudders + Net Tractor and RTV Talk + Net Cooking Talk
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Doc For This Useful Post:
Danang Sailor (06-03-2018), jim slagle  (06-03-2018)
  #334  
Old 06-05-2018, 01:08 PM
Doc's Avatar
Doc Doc is offline
Forum Admin

 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Ohio, USA
Posts: 32,086
Thanks: 13,657
Thanked 10,862 Times in 4,566 Posts
Doc will become famous soon enoughDoc will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

I've never understood why women love cats.

Cats are independent,

they don't listen,

they don't come in when you call,

they like to stay out all night, and when they're home

they like to be left alone and sleep.

In other words, every quality that women hate in a man,

they love in a cat.
__________________
Scott me up Beamy.

Other Fun Forums:

Weekend Mudders + Net Tractor and RTV Talk + Net Cooking Talk
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Doc For This Useful Post:
Catavenger (06-18-2018), jim slagle  (06-05-2018)
  #335  
Old 06-06-2018, 04:26 PM
Doc's Avatar
Doc Doc is offline
Forum Admin

 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Ohio, USA
Posts: 32,086
Thanks: 13,657
Thanked 10,862 Times in 4,566 Posts
Doc will become famous soon enoughDoc will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

A Sunday School teacher asked little Johnny, "Do you think Noah did a lot of fishing while he was on the Ark?"

Little Johnny said "

No, not with only two worms he didn't ".
__________________
Scott me up Beamy.

Other Fun Forums:

Weekend Mudders + Net Tractor and RTV Talk + Net Cooking Talk
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Doc For This Useful Post:
Catavenger (06-18-2018), jim slagle  (06-06-2018)
  #336  
Old 06-06-2018, 05:59 PM
loboloco's Avatar
loboloco loboloco is offline
Silver Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: SC
Posts: 5,552
Thanks: 80
Thanked 173 Times in 84 Posts
loboloco will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

What is the difference between a cat and a frog?




A cat has nine lives while a frog croaks every night.
__________________
Understand, even empathize with your enemy. It makes it easier to hunt him down and kill him.
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to loboloco For This Useful Post:
Catavenger (06-18-2018), Doc  (06-18-2018), jim slagle  (06-06-2018)
  #337  
Old 06-18-2018, 07:55 PM
Doc's Avatar
Doc Doc is offline
Forum Admin

 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Ohio, USA
Posts: 32,086
Thanks: 13,657
Thanked 10,862 Times in 4,566 Posts
Doc will become famous soon enoughDoc will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

Different ways to see things....
Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and Family values.
Bill said, 'I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?'
Larry replied, 'I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?'
___________________________________________
A little boy went up to his father and asked: 'Dad, where did my intelligence come from?'
The father replied. 'Well, son, you must have got it from your mother, cause I still have mine.'
___________________________________________
'Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully,' the divorce Court Judge said, 'And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week,'
'That's very fair, your honor,' the husband said. 'And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself.'
___________________________________________
A doctor examining a woman who had been rushed to the Emergency Room, took the husband aside, and said, 'I don't like the looks of your wife at all..'
'Me neither doc,' said the husband. 'But she's a great cook and really good with the kids.'
___________________________________________
An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years.
The Wizard says, 'Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you.'
The old man says without hesitation, 'I now pronounce you man and wife.'
___________________________________________
Two Reasons Why It's So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder:
1. The DNA all matches.
2. There are no dental records.
___________________________________________
__________________
Scott me up Beamy.

Other Fun Forums:

Weekend Mudders + Net Tractor and RTV Talk + Net Cooking Talk
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Doc For This Useful Post:
FrancSevin (07-20-2018), jim slagle  (06-18-2018)
  #338  
Old 06-18-2018, 08:14 PM
Doc's Avatar
Doc Doc is offline
Forum Admin

 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Ohio, USA
Posts: 32,086
Thanks: 13,657
Thanked 10,862 Times in 4,566 Posts
Doc will become famous soon enoughDoc will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

I hate when homeless people shake their change cups at me.....
I get it, you have more money than me. No need to be a jerk about it.
__________________
Scott me up Beamy.

Other Fun Forums:

Weekend Mudders + Net Tractor and RTV Talk + Net Cooking Talk
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Doc For This Useful Post:
Catavenger (06-18-2018), jim slagle  (06-18-2018)
  #339  
Old 06-19-2018, 06:22 PM
Doc's Avatar
Doc Doc is offline
Forum Admin

 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Ohio, USA
Posts: 32,086
Thanks: 13,657
Thanked 10,862 Times in 4,566 Posts
Doc will become famous soon enoughDoc will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

"Doctor, my child has swallowed a magnet!"

"Don't panic, the magnet should pass through his system
soon."

"How will I be sure?" she pressed.

"Stick him on the refrigerator.

When he falls off, you'll know."
__________________
Scott me up Beamy.

Other Fun Forums:

Weekend Mudders + Net Tractor and RTV Talk + Net Cooking Talk
Reply With Quote
  #340  
Old 06-20-2018, 06:14 PM
Doc's Avatar
Doc Doc is offline
Forum Admin

 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Ohio, USA
Posts: 32,086
Thanks: 13,657
Thanked 10,862 Times in 4,566 Posts
Doc will become famous soon enoughDoc will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

I was wiping down the dust on my keyboard and when I was finished.

I realized I had just received an online degree from Strayer University.
__________________
Scott me up Beamy.

Other Fun Forums:

Weekend Mudders + Net Tractor and RTV Talk + Net Cooking Talk
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Tidbits waybomb Urban Legends, Snopes, Unconfirmed Emails Forum 0 05-30-2011 04:08 PM
Some interesting tidbits Cowboyjg Junkman's Corner 0 02-14-2009 06:59 AM
Todays Groaners.... #1 Junkman Jokes_Forum 3 12-07-2006 06:25 AM
tidbits from the South (USA) Doc Jokes_Forum 2 05-10-2006 07:23 PM





All times are GMT -4. The time now is 04:12 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.2
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright 2002 - 2018 www.ForumsForums.com