Nursery rhymes

Mary had a little pig,
She kept it fat and plastered;
And when the price of pork went up,
She shot the little bastard.

MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
Between two hunks of bread.

JACK AND JILL Went up the hill
To have a little fun.
Stupid Jill forgot the pill
And now they have a son.



HUMPTY DUMPTY sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the kings' horses,
And all the kings' men.
Had scrambled eggs,
For breakfast again.


HEY DIDDLE, DIDDLE the cat took a piddle,
All over the bedside clock!
The little dog laughed to see such fun.
Then died of electric shock!


GEORGIE PORGY Pudding and Pie,
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
And when the boys came out to play,
He kissed them too 'cause he was gay.


THERE WAS A LITTLE GIRL who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead.
When she was good, she was very, very good.
But when she was bad........
She got a fur coat, jewels, a waterfront condo, and a sports car

Cute, Junkman..

Mary had a little lamb and tied it to the heater. Everey time it turned around it burnt it's little.......(I'm sure you can figure the rest)

Twas the night before Christmas when all thru the house, not a creature was stirring not one pubic louse. And the panties where hung in the bathroom with care, to give the stale crotches some much needed air.....