Forums Forums - Off Topic Forum FUN




Go Back   Forums Forums - Off Topic Forum FUN > Off Topic Forums > Junkman's Corner

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
  #381  
Old 08-03-2018, 11:52 PM
Doc's Avatar
Doc Doc is offline
Forum Admin

 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Ohio, USA
Posts: 33,058
Thanks: 17,558
Thanked 13,612 Times in 5,472 Posts
Doc will become famous soon enoughDoc will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

I am glad that I don't have to go out and hunt my food.

I don't even know where sandwiches live.
__________________
Scott me up Beamy.

Other Fun Forums:

Weekend Mudders + Net Tractor and RTV Talk + Net Cooking Talk
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Doc For This Useful Post:
jim slagle  (08-04-2018), NorthernRedneck (08-04-2018)
  #382  
Old 08-04-2018, 09:30 AM
NorthernRedneck's Avatar
NorthernRedneck NorthernRedneck is offline
Gold Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Thunder Bay, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 9,941
Thanks: 3,173
Thanked 4,763 Times in 2,267 Posts
NorthernRedneck will become famous soon enough
Style: T66
Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

True story
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to NorthernRedneck For This Useful Post:
Doc  (08-04-2018), jim slagle  (08-04-2018)
  #383  
Old 08-04-2018, 12:13 PM
jim slagle's Avatar
jim slagle jim slagle is offline
Cold Member

 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 10,930
Thanks: 23,262
Thanked 11,433 Times in 5,396 Posts
jim slagle is on a distinguished road
Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

A blonde told the auto parts clerk, "Do you have a longer dipstick for a Toyota?"

The puzzled clerk responded, "Why do you need a longer dipstick?" She said, "Because this one no longer reaches the oil!"
__________________
.

The United States Constitution 1787. All Rights Reserved

Sometimes I'm fast. Most of the time I'm half fast!

Never put off till tomorrow what you can avoid all together!

Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate

FF REQUIRES NO PHYSICAL FITNESS PROGRAM.
EVERYONE GETS ENOUGH EXERCISE JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS, FLYING
OFF THE HANDLE, RUNNING DOWN THE MODERATORS, KNIFING FRIENDS IN THE
BACK, DODGING RESPONSIBILITY AND PUSHING THEIR LUCK.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to jim slagle For This Useful Post:
Doc  (08-04-2018)
  #384  
Old 08-05-2018, 06:22 PM
nixon's Avatar
nixon nixon is offline
Boned
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Northern suburbs of West Sunbury ,Pa.
Posts: 4,972
Thanks: 1,284
Thanked 1,837 Times in 522 Posts
nixon will become famous soon enoughnixon will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

Jihadist term for prostitute ......
Sheep trick ......
__________________
Never laugh at your wife's choices....
YOU are one of them .

08f150 @AS
Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to nixon For This Useful Post:
Catavenger (08-05-2018), Doc  (08-05-2018), jim slagle  (08-06-2018), pirate_girl (08-05-2018)
  #385  
Old 08-05-2018, 11:09 PM
Doc's Avatar
Doc Doc is offline
Forum Admin

 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Ohio, USA
Posts: 33,058
Thanks: 17,558
Thanked 13,612 Times in 5,472 Posts
Doc will become famous soon enoughDoc will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

I want to say to the person who affixed the word coffee to the word cake.

Justifying the eating of cake for breakfast,

I salute you hero of the unhealthy!
__________________
Scott me up Beamy.

Other Fun Forums:

Weekend Mudders + Net Tractor and RTV Talk + Net Cooking Talk
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Doc For This Useful Post:
jim slagle  (08-05-2018)
  #386  
Old 08-05-2018, 11:12 PM
Doc's Avatar
Doc Doc is offline
Forum Admin

 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Ohio, USA
Posts: 33,058
Thanks: 17,558
Thanked 13,612 Times in 5,472 Posts
Doc will become famous soon enoughDoc will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

Why were stock analysts created?

To make weather forecasters look good.
__________________
Scott me up Beamy.

Other Fun Forums:

Weekend Mudders + Net Tractor and RTV Talk + Net Cooking Talk
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Doc For This Useful Post:
Danang Sailor (08-06-2018), jim slagle  (08-05-2018), nixon (08-06-2018)
  #387  
Old 08-05-2018, 11:36 PM
jim slagle's Avatar
jim slagle jim slagle is offline
Cold Member

 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 10,930
Thanks: 23,262
Thanked 11,433 Times in 5,396 Posts
jim slagle is on a distinguished road
Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

If it's really a supercomputer, how come the bullets don't bounce off when I shoot at it?
__________________
.

The United States Constitution 1787. All Rights Reserved

Sometimes I'm fast. Most of the time I'm half fast!

Never put off till tomorrow what you can avoid all together!

Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate

FF REQUIRES NO PHYSICAL FITNESS PROGRAM.
EVERYONE GETS ENOUGH EXERCISE JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS, FLYING
OFF THE HANDLE, RUNNING DOWN THE MODERATORS, KNIFING FRIENDS IN THE
BACK, DODGING RESPONSIBILITY AND PUSHING THEIR LUCK.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to jim slagle For This Useful Post:
Doc  (08-06-2018)
  #388  
Old 08-06-2018, 10:46 PM
Doc's Avatar
Doc Doc is offline
Forum Admin

 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Ohio, USA
Posts: 33,058
Thanks: 17,558
Thanked 13,612 Times in 5,472 Posts
Doc will become famous soon enoughDoc will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

When we are young we sneak out of the house to go to parties.

When we are old we sneak out of parties to go home.
__________________
Scott me up Beamy.

Other Fun Forums:

Weekend Mudders + Net Tractor and RTV Talk + Net Cooking Talk
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Doc For This Useful Post:
jim slagle  (08-06-2018), waybomb (08-07-2018)
  #389  
Old 08-07-2018, 11:31 AM
Doc's Avatar
Doc Doc is offline
Forum Admin

 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Ohio, USA
Posts: 33,058
Thanks: 17,558
Thanked 13,612 Times in 5,472 Posts
Doc will become famous soon enoughDoc will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

Me: It's not how many times you fall down. It's how many times you get up.

Police officer: That's not how a field sobriety test works.
__________________
Scott me up Beamy.

Other Fun Forums:

Weekend Mudders + Net Tractor and RTV Talk + Net Cooking Talk
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Doc For This Useful Post:
Catavenger (08-10-2018), jim slagle  (08-07-2018)
  #390  
Old 08-07-2018, 06:29 PM
Doc's Avatar
Doc Doc is offline
Forum Admin

 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Ohio, USA
Posts: 33,058
Thanks: 17,558
Thanked 13,612 Times in 5,472 Posts
Doc will become famous soon enoughDoc will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

When does a joke become a dad joke?

When it becomes apparent.
__________________
Scott me up Beamy.

Other Fun Forums:

Weekend Mudders + Net Tractor and RTV Talk + Net Cooking Talk
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Doc For This Useful Post:
Catavenger (08-10-2018)
  #391  
Old 08-07-2018, 10:29 PM
Doc's Avatar
Doc Doc is offline
Forum Admin

 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Ohio, USA
Posts: 33,058
Thanks: 17,558
Thanked 13,612 Times in 5,472 Posts
Doc will become famous soon enoughDoc will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

With great power

comes great electricity bills.
__________________
Scott me up Beamy.

Other Fun Forums:

Weekend Mudders + Net Tractor and RTV Talk + Net Cooking Talk
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Doc For This Useful Post:
jim slagle  (08-07-2018)
  #392  
Old 08-08-2018, 09:02 AM
Doc's Avatar
Doc Doc is offline
Forum Admin

 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Ohio, USA
Posts: 33,058
Thanks: 17,558
Thanked 13,612 Times in 5,472 Posts
Doc will become famous soon enoughDoc will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

Sign On a Maternity Room door:
"Push! Push! Push!
__________________
Scott me up Beamy.

Other Fun Forums:

Weekend Mudders + Net Tractor and RTV Talk + Net Cooking Talk
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Doc For This Useful Post:
jim slagle  (08-08-2018)
  #393  
Old 08-08-2018, 09:51 PM
Doc's Avatar
Doc Doc is offline
Forum Admin

 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Ohio, USA
Posts: 33,058
Thanks: 17,558
Thanked 13,612 Times in 5,472 Posts
Doc will become famous soon enoughDoc will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

Got an email today saying,

"At Google Earth, we can read maps backwards!"

I thought, that's just Spam.
__________________
Scott me up Beamy.

Other Fun Forums:

Weekend Mudders + Net Tractor and RTV Talk + Net Cooking Talk
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Doc For This Useful Post:
Danang Sailor (08-09-2018), jim slagle  (08-08-2018)
  #394  
Old 08-09-2018, 02:48 PM
Doc's Avatar
Doc Doc is offline
Forum Admin

 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Ohio, USA
Posts: 33,058
Thanks: 17,558
Thanked 13,612 Times in 5,472 Posts
Doc will become famous soon enoughDoc will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

Sign At the Electric Company:
"We would be delighted if you send in your payment on time. However, if you don't, YOU will be de-lighted.
__________________
Scott me up Beamy.

Other Fun Forums:

Weekend Mudders + Net Tractor and RTV Talk + Net Cooking Talk
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Doc For This Useful Post:
jim slagle  (08-09-2018)
  #395  
Old 08-09-2018, 02:49 PM
Doc's Avatar
Doc Doc is offline
Forum Admin

 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Ohio, USA
Posts: 33,058
Thanks: 17,558
Thanked 13,612 Times in 5,472 Posts
Doc will become famous soon enoughDoc will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

Sign At the Electric Company:
"We would be delighted if you send in your payment on time. However, if you don't, YOU will be de-lighted.
__________________
Scott me up Beamy.

Other Fun Forums:

Weekend Mudders + Net Tractor and RTV Talk + Net Cooking Talk
Reply With Quote
  #396  
Old 08-09-2018, 11:51 PM
Doc's Avatar
Doc Doc is offline
Forum Admin

 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Ohio, USA
Posts: 33,058
Thanks: 17,558
Thanked 13,612 Times in 5,472 Posts
Doc will become famous soon enoughDoc will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

Being raised in farm country.

I can say I've never tipped a cow.

However, one has never served me food!
__________________
Scott me up Beamy.

Other Fun Forums:

Weekend Mudders + Net Tractor and RTV Talk + Net Cooking Talk
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Doc For This Useful Post:
jim slagle  (08-10-2018)
  #397  
Old 08-10-2018, 12:15 PM
pirate_girl's Avatar
pirate_girl pirate_girl is offline
Poster Extraordinaire
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: NW Ohio
Posts: 42,703
Thanks: 7,596
Thanked 15,571 Times in 6,122 Posts
pirate_girl is on a distinguished road
Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

Name:  FB_IMG_1533913767799.jpg
Views: 43
Size:  19.9 KB
__________________
Mother Superior Nana Patriot Nurse
- I love God, bacon and President Trump -
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to pirate_girl For This Useful Post:
Catavenger (08-20-2018), Doc  (08-10-2018), jim slagle  (08-10-2018)
  #398  
Old 08-10-2018, 10:54 PM
Doc's Avatar
Doc Doc is offline
Forum Admin

 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Ohio, USA
Posts: 33,058
Thanks: 17,558
Thanked 13,612 Times in 5,472 Posts
Doc will become famous soon enoughDoc will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

I can't remember how to write 51, 6, and 500 in Roman numerals.

I AM LIVID!
__________________
Scott me up Beamy.

Other Fun Forums:

Weekend Mudders + Net Tractor and RTV Talk + Net Cooking Talk
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Doc For This Useful Post:
Danang Sailor (08-11-2018), jim slagle  (08-10-2018)
  #399  
Old 08-10-2018, 10:56 PM
jim slagle's Avatar
jim slagle jim slagle is offline
Cold Member

 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 10,930
Thanks: 23,262
Thanked 11,433 Times in 5,396 Posts
jim slagle is on a distinguished road
Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't need the freakin' class!
__________________
.

The United States Constitution 1787. All Rights Reserved

Sometimes I'm fast. Most of the time I'm half fast!

Never put off till tomorrow what you can avoid all together!

Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate

FF REQUIRES NO PHYSICAL FITNESS PROGRAM.
EVERYONE GETS ENOUGH EXERCISE JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS, FLYING
OFF THE HANDLE, RUNNING DOWN THE MODERATORS, KNIFING FRIENDS IN THE
BACK, DODGING RESPONSIBILITY AND PUSHING THEIR LUCK.
Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to jim slagle For This Useful Post:
Catavenger (08-20-2018), Danang Sailor (08-11-2018), Doc  (08-20-2018), NorthernRedneck (08-21-2018)
  #400  
Old 08-20-2018, 10:42 PM
Doc's Avatar
Doc Doc is offline
Forum Admin

 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Ohio, USA
Posts: 33,058
Thanks: 17,558
Thanked 13,612 Times in 5,472 Posts
Doc will become famous soon enoughDoc will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Tidbits AKA Groaners

I just saw on NBC Nightly News that the NFL is considering hiring a mother of three to be a referee.

I'm sure they wanted someone who's dealt with whining, constant bickering, and giving time-outs.
__________________
Scott me up Beamy.

Other Fun Forums:

Weekend Mudders + Net Tractor and RTV Talk + Net Cooking Talk
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Doc For This Useful Post:
Catavenger (08-20-2018), Danang Sailor (08-20-2018), jim slagle  (08-20-2018)
Reply

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Tidbits waybomb Urban Legends, Snopes, Unconfirmed Emails Forum 0 05-30-2011 05:08 PM
Some interesting tidbits Cowboyjg Junkman's Corner 0 02-14-2009 07:59 AM
Todays Groaners.... #1 Junkman Jokes_Forum 3 12-07-2006 07:25 AM
tidbits from the South (USA) Doc Jokes_Forum 2 05-10-2006 08:23 PM





All times are GMT -4. The time now is 08:06 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.2
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright 2002 - 2018 www.ForumsForums.com