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Old 05-10-2006, 02:11 PM
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Default tidbits from the South (USA)

Southern Sayings:

Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit!

She fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.

Have a cup of coffee--it's already been "saucered and blowed."

She's so stuck up she'd drown in a rainstorm.

It'sso dry, the trees are bribing the dogs.

My cow died last night, so I don't need your bull.

He's as country as cornflakes.

This is gooder'n grits.

If things get any better, I may have to hire someone to help me enjoy
it.

I'm'bout as........ Nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of
rocking chairs.

Happy as a clam at high tide.


Advice for Northerners moving to the South:

Just because you can drive on snow and ice does not mean Southerners
can.
Stay home the two days of the year it snows.

If you DO run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Some men in a
four-wheeldrive pick-up with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain will be
along
shortly. Don't try to help them. Just stay out of their way. This is
what
they live for.

You can ask Southerners for directions, but unless you already know the
positions of key hills, churches and rocks, you're just as well off
trying
to find it yourself.

Remember: Y'all is singular or plural. All y'all is plural. All
y'all's is
plural possessive. Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be
instructed
on how to use it shortly. Get used to hearing, "You ain't from around
here,
are you?"

Don't be worried that you don't understand anyone. They don't understand
you
either.

The first Southern expression to creep into a transplanted Northerner's
vocabulary is the adjective "big ol'," as in "big ol' truck," or
"bigol'
boy." "Fixin'" (as in "I'm fixin' to go to the store") is
2nd, and"Y'all" is 3rd.

As you are cursing the person driving 15 mph ina 55 mph zone directly in
the
middle of the road, remember: A lot of Southern folks learned to drive
on a
John Deere, and this is the proper speed and lane position for that
vehicle.

If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch 'is!" get out of
his
way. These could be the last words he will ever say.

Most Southerners do not use turn signals; they ignore those who do. In
fact, if you see a signal blinking on a car with a Southern license
plate,
you may rest assured that it was already turned on when the car was
purchased.

If it can't be fried in bacon grease, it ain't worth cooking, let alone
eating.

If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the most
minuscule accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local
grocery store. It does not matter if you need anything from the store.
It
is just something you're supposed to do.

Satellite dishes are very popular in the South. When you purchase one,
it
is positioned directly in front of the house. This is logical, bearing
in
mind that the dish may have cost more than the house and should,
therefore,
be prominently displayed.

One last warning but probably the most important one to remember: Be
advised that in the South, "He needed killin'" is a valid defense.
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Old 05-10-2006, 05:08 PM
Glenn9643 Glenn9643 is offline
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Default Re: tidbits from the South (USA)

"in the South, "He needed killin'" is a valid defense"

My dad practiced law in a small central Mississippi county for about fifty years, and during that time many people were never even bound over by the grand jury because that was the general consensus within the community. In rural areas at that time everyone knew everyone else, their families, faults, predilictions, accomplishments, and habits. And you have to admit that some do need killin'.

This topic brings to mind the story about "Uncle Louie" (my grandfather's brother) serving on the grand jury about seventy-five years ago. A young man was charged with stealing a cow in the county and while the grand jury was in session his family approached the man who owned the stolen cow and paid him his damages. The owner then went to the grand jury and asked that they overlook the charges because he had been paid his due. This prompted a discussion among the jurymen, and Uncle Louie strongly objected to overlooking the charge. When pressed he told the others that if they failed to charge the thief they might well be charging him with murder in a few years. His reasoning was that a thief can't be "cured" by bailing him out of trouble, and when he came and stole a cow from Uncle Louie it would result in his being killed, thus the possible murder charge...
The jury returned a "true bill" and according to my sources the thief was sentenced to Parchman farm.
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Old 05-10-2006, 08:23 PM
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AndyM AndyM is offline
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Default Re: tidbits from the South (USA)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Doc
If you DO run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Some men in a
four-wheeldrive pick-up with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain will be
along
shortly. Don't try to help them. Just stay out of their way. This is
what
they live for.
Yep... That's what they live for!

I was driving down a narrow county road in Ritchie County West Virginia once after a heavy rain, and I pulled over to the side to let someone through (most of the county roads are about one car wide). After they had passed, I realized I was stuck.

I asked for help at the closest house, and the guy said he would try to get his truck running and he would be up to help me. As I was walking back to the car, two guys in a Plymouth Volare came along and offered to help. They told me to get in the back seat and they would give me a ride back to the car. There had to have been HUNDREDS of empty beer cans in the back seat, so I pushed some of them over and sat down. We got back up to the top of the hill, they hooked up the chain and pulled me out.

In the mean time, the neighbor got his four wheel drive truck running. He was so excited, he came barreling up the hill at full throttle. He got to the spot where we were, slammed on the brakes and slid off the road. The two guys with the Volare proceeded to pull the truck out too.

I never saw three guys have so much fun with someone else's bad situation!
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