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Old 04-01-2012, 12:23 PM
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Default Letter to Management

Dear Management,

I, P.Nis, hereby request a raise in salary for
the following reasons:

I do physical labour.
I work at great depths.
I plunge headfirst into everything I do.
I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
I work in a damp environment.
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
I work in high temperatures.
Most importantly, my work exposes me to contagious diseases!


The Response:

Dear P.Niss,

After assessing your request and considering the arg uments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:

You do not work 8 hours straight.
You fall asleep after brief work periods.
You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations.
You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured & stimulated in order to start working.
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
You don't always observe necessary safety regs, such as wearing the correct protective clothing.
You will retire well before you are 65!
You are unable to work double shifts.
You sometimes leave the work space before you have completed the assigned task.
And if that is not reason enough, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags!!!!!!!!!


V. Gina
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I'd rather be burning gas up at an alarming rate in Plain Vanilla.
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Old 04-01-2012, 01:19 PM
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Default Re: Letter to Management

Dear Mr. P. Niss,

I can understand your frustrations with Ms. V. Gina. It happens a lot. However, in today's environment of political correctness and tolerance, you can swing the other way and procure a similar position nearby without too much trouble or stigma. Give it a try. You may find that you can do your job without the constant worry of flippant female management, but just be aware that the working conditions can be a little shitty.


A. Nuss.
All things being equal, bigger bullets tend to work better.

Last edited by Kane; 04-01-2012 at 01:59 PM.
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Old 04-01-2012, 02:34 PM
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Default Re: Letter to Management

You guys are too funny.
A hug is a great gift. One size fits all and it is easy to exchange.
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Old 04-02-2012, 01:36 AM
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Default Re: Letter to Management

thats damm funny...........
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Old 04-02-2012, 07:00 AM
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Default Re: Letter to Management

Dear P. Niss,

Having received no satisfaction from V. Gina, and not caring for the "alternative" working environment presented by A. Nuss, might I suggest taking matters "into your own hands?"


R. Palm
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