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The Mistake Forum Opps!! Mistakes, Mishaps & Broke stuff

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  #1  
Old 10-22-2005, 06:50 PM
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Theres been a huge cabinet standing in the lawn for the last year, Ive mowed around it all summer and its pissing me off now. It brown, about 7 foot tall, 1 foot deep and 4 foot wide made of sheet steel panels riveted together.
So I decide to take it apart and stack it on the driveway for somebody else to get pissed off at, sounds like a plan to me.
I start trying to drag it across the lawn to my shed, its pissing it down with rain, its really muddy, the garden is on a slope and its damn slippery yet I continue to struggle with the cabinet, probably weighing near to my own weight. Not only that, this cabinet is 7 foot tall, I'm a giant at a massive 5 foot (yes I know, vertically challenged) and for some reason unknown to man I decided to drag it when it was upright. Did I mention its slippery and went already?
I get about 2 feet, screw that, I drop the load, shit, just put a ding in the sheet metal I was trying to salvage, what a waste of a 7x4 sheet of steel. Never mind, I'm a stubborn fart so I'll do the job as planned. I long to be in the dry with the tractor, thats it! tractor! I go take the collector off the tractor, leave the mower deck on, its only a short job.
I line the tractor up to the cabinet and try to push it with the bonnet, inveitably, pushing a 7 foot tall cabinet at a hight of 3 foot off the base causes the base to be pushed outwards causing the top to fall inwards, yep, onto the tractor.
So now I'm wet, muddy, the tractor has a huge scratch in the bonnet, the peice of metal I'm trying to salvage is about as shagged as a blonde hooker and I'm still no closer to the shed.
I get a strap out the shed, tie cabinet to tractor, drag cabinet to shed. I look at cabinet for 10 minutes to try and find a straight piece of metal, nope, cant see one
I drive the tractor down to the shelter that it is residing in at the moment. I slip off the ramps with the rear wheels and rest one side in a ditch that runs across the front of the shelter, bollocks. Now if I had taken the mower deck off I would have been able to simply drive out, but NO, I had to pry it out with a 2x4 and a pallet, I get it in the shelter, phew. On the way out of the shelter I slip on the ramp and land arse over tit in the mud.
Back to the cabinet, its outside the shed, now lets get the grinder on to them rivets and flatpack this cabinet. It still raining. The wheelhorse is using up all the shed where I'm making the loader. IDEA! Stand in the cabinet while grinding rivets to stay in the dry. I get in, get out, get the grinder and get in again, get out, plug the grinder in, get in, then set to work on the rivets. Work from the top down right? Wrong, I start grinding the rivets off at the bottom because I cant reach the ones at the top, (its 7 foot, I'm 5). Last rivet, grinder off, CRASH. It collapses on me, bottom splays out with no rivets to hold it together and the top comes down to meet my head.
At this point I'm very tempted to throw the grinder down in dispair, I resist, it cost me 70 a new grinder last time I did
I decide instead to take out my frustration on a pack of super noodles (i live on those things, chicken flavour is my best) that I do a particularly poor job off cooking for my lunch. :o
After lunch with a renewed sense of calm I once again set about disassembling the cabinet, the sun has come out, all goes well. I finish the job.
So lets take stock, Ive got a pile of bent dented metal, a scratched bonnet on a tractor, Ive achived nothing today, I'm pissed off and its 10 to midnight and there IS NO HOT WATER so i cant have a shower.
I'm going to bed!!
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  #2  
Old 10-22-2005, 06:52 PM
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Default Re: Today's stupidity

So WHY was it sitting in the yard in the first place?
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Old 10-22-2005, 07:11 PM
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Default Re: Today's stupidity

Why do I feel like I've just read a short about "A day in the life of Douglas Adams?"

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Old 10-22-2005, 08:17 PM
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Default Re: Today's stupidity

Mith,

Although I laughed during the story (not sure if I was laughing with you or at you) but all I could think of was my grandfather telling me "You just need to be a little smarter than the average piece of steel". Today, I think you lost.
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Old 10-23-2005, 01:31 AM
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Default Re: Today's stupidity

Mith

Waay too funny! A good laugh it was.

U sure we ain't related?
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Old 10-23-2005, 04:36 AM
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Default Re: Today's stupidity

Bob, apparently it looked useful, we have lots of things like that, anybody want a 12' long industrial stainless steel sink with draining boards on both sides? We got one of them too, highschool sience tables anyone? we got some of them too Hey, it was free

Dave, never heard of it, though it sounds like its worth a read :)

Brian, its always funny after the event, I've had a shower now, all is repaired (except the scratch) so it dont matter any more. It sure does seem that the steel beat me

BA, If you give me that snap-on cabinet we sure will be
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Old 10-23-2005, 08:07 AM
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Thumbs up Re: Today's stupidity

Ah, tis a grand day when the gods of chaos are so far away!
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Old 10-23-2005, 08:49 AM
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Default Re: Today's stupidity

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mith
Dave, never heard of it, though it sounds like its worth a read :)
What?!? A Brit who has never hear of "The Hitchikers Guide to the Galaxy"?

I think the world is about to end.
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Old 10-23-2005, 11:55 AM
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Default Re: Today's stupidity

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mith
BA, If you give me that snap-on cabinet we sure will be


I should have know better... ...but now ya confirmed it

yur my long lost BROTHER...

so how ya been bro?...
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Old 10-23-2005, 12:06 PM
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Default Re: Today's stupidity

Ooooh, does that mean youll be buying me a crimbo prezzie this year? Maybe that snap-on box? Did I mention I like the look of your snap-on box already?
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Old 10-23-2005, 12:28 PM
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Default Re: Today's stupidity

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mith
Ooooh, does that mean youll be buying me a crimbo prezzie this year? Maybe that snap-on box? Did I mention I like the look of your snap-on box already?
hmmm...
Well...if yur a good boy, lil' brotha ... I'll think about it.
Tell ya what...

if ya come over and polish my box up nice and shiny

I'll let ya play wif ALL my tools ...for now
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Old 10-23-2005, 12:45 PM
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Default Re: Today's stupidity

Hey, I can do that, from an old joke...
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Old 10-23-2005, 01:12 PM
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Default Re: Today's stupidity

when u come...
bring dem sheep too... for Junk
he must be real lonely if he's readin PM's at 1 am
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Old 10-23-2005, 01:16 PM
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Default Re: Today's stupidity

He's a Mod, he isnt allowed to sleep, yeh could sent him a roll of tape to tape his eyes open with, maybe the sheep would work to keep him awake, though their bleating could send him round the bend, wait, he already is round the bend
You think I've got him back enough yet?
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Old 10-23-2005, 01:33 PM
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Default Re: Today's stupidity

nope...and maybe he don't know it yet, but
yur brotha is gonna play too...
and leave some chickens under his sheets
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