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  #21  
Old 12-01-2015, 08:44 PM
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Default Re: Heartbroken...

Quote:
Originally Posted by waybomb View Post
Why do women always think they can change a guy?
Can't be done.
Move on.
Wise words there, first uttered to me by my Mother.
So, I did move on.
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  #22  
Old 12-02-2015, 05:05 PM
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Default Re: Heartbroken...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Galvatron View Post
Am i guessing correct in thinking he made out your in the wrong and his arse his secure in the family home??
Yes for the most part, unfortunately... When I confronted him about it, my heart was just pounding like no other. Because what usually happens next is him getting right in my face, yelling at the top of his lungs, breaking stuff, and leaving the house for long periods of time. Then he will accuse me of so many different things, and say very hurtful stuff that just leaves me speechless and I just break and fall and I just say okay okay to get him to stop. Then he smothers me and acts like nothing even happened.

We have not seen each other much since because of work schedules.. I honestly just don't even know where to go... he is so overpowering at times that I just feel scared to do something because I don't know what to expect. He's so different now and since I got my promotion, he has been spending all this extra money left and right and blew through our Christmas savings, so now I don't even know how to afford the holiday. He keeps calling in on his job as well and doing nothing around the house...I'm just sick... I have so much on my plate right now and it's been such a year.. I just feel so numb all over anymore.
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  #23  
Old 12-02-2015, 05:49 PM
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Default Re: Heartbroken...

At least we're hearing a more honest and complete description of your relationship with this lyin' POS. And the honest truth is that this man is ABUSING you in the classic manner of emotional/financial abuse, now edging on physical abuse.

Get the hell away from this man before you get hurt. You've already been hurt repeatedly via his chronic emotional abuse. One day or night soon you're gonna get slugged.

So take control of your heart and start using your head. Get the hell away from this awful situation ... and this awful man.

Maybe PG can suggest some places and local organizations from which a woman can get help leaving a dangerous environment.
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Last edited by Kane; 12-02-2015 at 06:05 PM.
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  #24  
Old 12-02-2015, 07:17 PM
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Default Re: Heartbroken...

The next thing this loser will do is hit you. And then the I ve you I'm so sorry I dont know what came over me bullshit speach.

Next time he'll hit you a bot harder.

Then next time he'll slug you.

And you wont be able to go to work with a black eye or busted jaw. And you'll lose your dream job and stepping stone to a much better life, and you'll stay at home and he'll beat you every day.

GET THE FUCK OUT NOW!
PACK UP THE KIDS AND GO TO MOM AND POP.
Get a restraining order.
File for divorce.
All in one day.
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  #25  
Old 12-02-2015, 07:33 PM
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Default Re: Heartbroken...

Quote:
Originally Posted by waybomb View Post
The next thing this loser will do is hit you. And then the I ve you I'm so sorry I dont know what came over me bullshit speach.

Next time he'll hit you a bot harder.

Then next time he'll slug you.

And you wont be able to go to work with a black eye or busted jaw. And you'll lose your dream job and stepping stone to a much better life, and you'll stay at home and he'll beat you every day.

GET THE FUCK OUT NOW!
PACK UP THE KIDS AND GO TO MOM AND POP.
Get a restraining order.
File for divorce.
All in one day.

+1. Do this NOW.
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  #26  
Old 12-02-2015, 08:12 PM
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Default Re: Heartbroken...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kane View Post
At least we're hearing a more honest and complete description of your relationship with this lyin' POS. And the honest truth is that this man is ABUSING you in the classic manner of emotional/financial abuse, now edging on physical abuse.

Get the hell away from this man before you get hurt. You've already been hurt repeatedly via his chronic emotional abuse. One day or night soon you're gonna get slugged.

So take control of your heart and start using your head. Get the hell away from this awful situation ... and this awful man.

Maybe PG can suggest some places and local organizations from which a woman can get help leaving a dangerous environment.

Don't have to.
I think Fred said all need be said.
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  #27  
Old 12-02-2015, 11:06 PM
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Default Re: Heartbroken...

Angelface, he is using you. The best thing that you can do for yourself and your children is to get rid of him. Get away from him and the sooner the better. My sister was married to a guy that this and the damage to her children was horrible. Only one of her three children has done well. One of the other two has been in jail several times. Her daughter has abused the use of her moms credit cards and expects the world to take care of her. She had a great job and did everything that she could do to get fired. For of the sake of your children get away from him. They deserve a normal upbringing.
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  #28  
Old 12-02-2015, 11:39 PM
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Default Re: Heartbroken...

This is all so very true.. I wish I could actually disagree, but I can't. I need to do this.. but it's terrifying. I never actually realized how much control he has over me. I know that I come here and throw up a lot of my problems, and I am so ever sorry for that. But, I actually trust people here and a little secret I must add, this is the only place I ever talked about this stuff. I have never said anything to anyone in my real world, not even my own parents. He knows everyone I know, I am not allowed to have and guy friends, and if I do happen to make a new female friend, he must know and evaluate her... ugh I am really opening up a lot here right now...oh good god I hope he never finds out about me posting here. I just hope I am not hurting my children's lives over this and them hate me for it.

I cried to my mother the other night when I told her that I simply do not know how to make myself happy, so I spend all my time trying to make others happy so I hope they don't feel like I do inside. I am not one to put myself first most of the time and because of that, some have taken really BAD advantage of me.

But enough of all that... maybe it's time I do put myself first and make this change. I have overcame so much already this year... I know I am not the smartest girl out there. But I am trying... I've had a pretty abusive history growing up to this point, so much so that I guess I didn't realize anymore that I still am being abused and just accepted it as a part of life... Ugh now I am in tears again.. so on that note, I will go to bed, go to work and then go take care of not business.... but my life. For once. I love you all.

Thank you!
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  #29  
Old 12-03-2015, 12:55 PM
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Default Re: Heartbroken...

You are hurting your children's live by remaining in this situation. You are actually cheating your kids of the mother they have, because you are not being true to yourself.

Change is hard; the alternative can be deadly, or ruinous of your kids' lives.

Get out.

It seems you are a typical abused wife - you "come out", bear your soul, and now you are justifying this today. Please re-read my last post. You have lost a day.

DO IT TODAY.

ALL OF IT.

To Reiterate:

GET THE FUCK OUT NOW!
PACK UP THE KIDS AND GO TO MOM AND POP.
Get a restraining order.
File for divorce.
All in one day.
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  #30  
Old 12-03-2015, 01:45 PM
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Default Re: Heartbroken...

What he said

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  #31  
Old 12-04-2015, 04:02 PM
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Default Re: Heartbroken...

Well that went well... Told him I was done, and he said good and was tired of me being a cunt and nothing but an ugly faced stupid psychotic bitch. Left and I have not seen him since. Nobody he knows knows where he is.... I am so emotionally exhausted and hurt. I don't know exactly how to cope right now. My parents have the kids and I'm done with work early... So I am going to cry myself to sleep for a few hours...
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  #32  
Old 12-04-2015, 04:07 PM
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Default Re: Heartbroken...

Empty the bank account. You can always give back his share, if any. Open one in your name. Cancel any direct deposits. Call an attorney.

Please do this.
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  #33  
Old 12-04-2015, 07:36 PM
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Default Re: Heartbroken...

Restraining order.
File divorce.

Ps. Good job. Just hope he does not come back. Should have went to parents house.
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  #34  
Old 12-04-2015, 08:14 PM
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Default Re: Heartbroken...

Change locks. Don't stay home alone. Makes young target. Go to your parent's house.

+1 on bank accounts. Use a different bank. Do this tomorrow.
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  #35  
Old 12-04-2015, 08:24 PM
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Default Re: Heartbroken...

The men seem to be giving the best advice.
FWIW..I'll continue to thank them and stay out of this otherwise.
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  #36  
Old 12-04-2015, 09:41 PM
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Default Re: Heartbroken...

+3 on the bank accounts. The first step is the hardest. There will be difficult days ahead but don't give in. Find people who care about you to surround you. Talk to a counsellor. Not sure on the laws down there but up in Canada the first thing to do is iron out a seperation agreement to deal with strictly the custody of the kids etc. That's the important thing right now. Making sure those kids are safe. Don't use them as leverage against him either. Talk to a lawyer and get something in writing to deal with the kids first hand then work out the details on everything else.
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  #37  
Old 12-04-2015, 10:00 PM
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Default Re: Heartbroken...

Praying for you sweetie, stay strong for your kids.
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  #38  
Old 12-04-2015, 10:03 PM
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Default Re: Heartbroken...

Thank you everyone. I am in the process of making all this happen... I am just really overwhelmed right now with emotions and everything else. My kids have been asking when is Daddy coming back home? are we having a family game night? This is so hard... I feel like I have failed them so much. I have not ate anything since last night and just crying all day. I found out he is in Idaho with a friend. His friend told me he is there, but he will not answer my texts or calls. Happy holidays right? I've had some close friends over for awhile and they have helped me a lot. I just need something to cope right now.. because I am feeling so weak and unstable. Anyone recommend a good movie to watch? I just want to lay here and hopefully fall asleep tonight..
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  #39  
Old 12-05-2015, 01:58 AM
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Default Re: Heartbroken...

I would also contact the kids schools and make them aware of the situation, be sure they know who can and cannot pick up the children.

I would tell the children daddy is working away as they were used to that,you need to eat as Mummy is going to need her strength and most of all right now you should be feeling proud of yourself for allowing you and your children a brighter future,i know i am proud of you.

Stay strong and happiness will be with you sooner than you think.
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  #40  
Old 12-05-2015, 03:10 AM
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Default Re: Heartbroken...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Galvatron View Post
I would also contact the kids schools and make them aware of the situation, be sure they know who can and cannot pick up the children.

I would tell the children daddy is working away as they were used to that,you need to eat as Mummy is going to need her strength and most of all right now you should be feeling proud of yourself for allowing you and your children a brighter future,i know i am proud of you.

Stay strong and happiness will be with you sooner than you think.
I wish I was feeling anything other than what im feeling right now.. But thank you, it helps. :)
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