Robbing The Amish

Two fellas were in desperate need of cash, but admittedly were a bit cowardly. So the one suggested they break into the Amish market. The logic being that since the Amish were non-resistant, even if they were caught, no harm could befall them. Thus, they carried out their plot.

However, just as they were breaking into the cash register, the owner turned on the lights and confronted them, a shotgun pointed directly at them.

Calmly, the Amishman said:

Boys, I would never do thee any harm yet you are standing where I am about to shoot.

So how exactly does an Amish man "turn on the lights" if they don't use electricity?

Maybe it was a gas lantern Bob, work with me here LOL

OK but then I have to follow up with that whole issue about an Amish man owning a gun???

gahhh!!

Maybe its a liberal Amish sect?

Yeah.. yeah.. that's it.. BUT, I figured they did use shotguns for hunting..
We'll have to ask our friend of the Amish, Muleman

aha!

http://amishamerica.com/2007/11/the-amish-and-h.html

Of course they use shotguns. How else do they keep their daughters from dating boys who have cars?

When the Amish guy I am friends with turns on the lights it is a 3 million candlepower spotlight that streams a good 1/4 mile. He liked mine so much I got him his own for Christmas.They have more guns in their house than I have in mine. They just don't carry one to the door like I do. I have corrupted them since I got him that first light. He likes streamlight flashlights as well. He had a broken one that I contacted the company and had a replacement part in 2 days. He has since bought 3 more. Trust me they have a shitload of lights around the farm. He lets me buy him batteries in bulk packs from interstate. I setup his kubota motor with an alternator yesterday and will have a spare switch for a light to check oil and coolant in the morning. As long as it does not come from an electric pole it is OK. Go figure.

I almost always meet one of my Amish clients in our local gun store when I'm there to shop!!........ Depending upon the sect they have cell phones and computers, some even have electricity. Muleman's right, they have lots of firearms for "hunting".

K

Most assuredly Amish. Batteries are OK and motors also. No tires on wagons or any equipment unless it is being moved from field to field. No bicycles but scooters are OK. Some of the stuff is just dumb. They put lights on the buggies but not LED ones. Yet they all love LED cap lights. They do run reflective tape on a lot of the buggies now. I took one of the elders to a different community a few years back and showed him how well the tape shows up at night and emphasized how much safer they make travel. Now most around here have adopted the marking tape to outline their buggies in back. Lanterns burning Naptha are the norm and they use kerosene if it is not dyed red as it soots up the mantles.

Danang Sailor said:

Are you sure your friends are Amish? They sound more like Mennonites; Mennonites dress the same way, but are not averse to modern conveniences like mechanized farm equipment, phones, etc..

Click to expand...

Not really, at least not around here.
Mennonite men and women do dress conservatively (women with dresses below the knee and covering arms, little white cap under bunned or braided hair--they often wear dresses that are of a floral print).. the men just dress plain in long sleeved shirts, usually in colours that are plain, no beards (that goes for the women too )

The Amish (men, women) dress in dark colours mostly, unless they are younger, then they can be daring and wear shades of green, blue or even pink... (the little Amish girls) and teens wear the white cap unless they are out in public, which is the black cap over the white one.
The men... beards, straw hats or black ones. Plain dress, no buttons or zippers, but seem to have velcro and snaps on their clothing.