• Please be sure to read the rules and adhere to them. Some banned members have complained that they are not spammers. But they spammed us. Some even tried to redirect our members to other forums. Duh. Be smart. Read the rules and adhere to them and we will all get along just fine. Cheers. :beer: Link to the rules: https://www.forumsforums.com/threads/forum-rules-info.2974/

2010 winter olympics in Canada

NorthernRedneck

Well-known member
GOLD Site Supporter
Because Everyone In Canada Lives In An Igloo.


Now that Vancouver has won the chance to host the 2010 Winter Olympics, these are some questions people from all over the world are asking. Believe it or not these questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Website. Obviously the answers are a joke; but the questions were really asked!



Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow? (England)

A. We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.



Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)

A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.



Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto-can I follow the Railroad tracks? (Sweden)

A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water.


Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)

A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.



Q: Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (England)

A: What, did your last slave die?


Q:Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA)

A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-na-da is that big country to your North...oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.


Q:Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)

A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.


Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (England)

A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.


Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)

A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is... oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.


Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)

A: No, WE don't stink.



Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Where can I sell it in Canada? (USA)

A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.



Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)

A: Yes, gay nightclubs.



Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)

A: Only at Thanksgiving.


Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? (Germany)

A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gathers. Milk is illegal.


Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA )

A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.



Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)

A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.
 

NorthernRedneck

Well-known member
GOLD Site Supporter
True story that happened when I was down in Virginia in 2002 for a Nascar race..................I went down there to watch a Nascar race in Martinsville Virginia with my Dad and brother. My bro had broken his glasses on the trip so we stopped at a mall somewhere in West Virginia to see if he could get new ones. We found a place in the mall that did the one hour thing with glasses but they needed to know his prescription and needed the contact information for our optometrist up here. When we told them that we were from Canada, about 10 poeple in that store took notice and they all started asking us were that was. One of the women there was totally amazed that there was another country just north of the states. Another one was totally amazed that we weren't covered in frostbite from having to sleep in igloos all year round. Another person there had no clue what a "province" was. Some people just don't have a clue about anything beyond their back yard.:yum: We just kinda chuckled, didn't say much, and left once he got his glasses.
 

bczoom

Super Moderator
Staff member
GOLD Site Supporter
One of the women there was totally amazed that there was another country just north of the states.
Another one was totally amazed that we weren't covered in frostbite from having to sleep in igloos all year round.
Another person there had no clue what a "province" was.
Alright, you're messing with me.

There's another country north of the states? I thought there was just ice.
If you don't sleep in igloos, what do you make your houses out of (remember, it's all ice north of the states).
Everyone knows "province" is a city in New Hamshire.

:moon: :poke: :beer: :tiphat: :wave:
 

Bobcat

Je Suis Charlie Hebdo
GOLD Site Supporter
Alright, you're messing with me.

There's another country north of the states?
<snip>

It's kinda like Puerto Rico; We're just waiting for them to vote themselves in as the 51st state and then we'll tax the hell outa them.
 

Bobcat

Je Suis Charlie Hebdo
GOLD Site Supporter
Good point!

Saw a UK youtuber recently trying to explain what they learn in school about Canada. All she could come up with was that it was part of the commonwealth, over near the states, they seem really nice, and when anyone in the UK hears them speak they always mistake them for American! So your Queens other subjects don't even know you. Might a well just join up with us, come on down, the weather's fine down here (or at least better than up there)! :yum:
 

XeVfTEUtaAqJHTqq

Master of Distraction
Staff member
SUPER Site Supporter
Good point!

Saw a UK youtuber recently trying to explain what they learn in school about Canada. All she could come up with was that it was part of the commonwealth, over near the states, they seem really nice, and when anyone in the UK hears them speak they always mistake them for American! So your Queens other subjects don't even know you. Might a well just join up with us, come on down, the weather's fine down here (or at least better than up there)! :yum:

What? You want 33 million Democrats to join the US? No way! I left that communist haven for some sanity and tax relief! Don't ruin it down here!
 

Bobcat

Je Suis Charlie Hebdo
GOLD Site Supporter
Damn, another good point. They just seem really, really nice. And...well...really nice.
 

XeVfTEUtaAqJHTqq

Master of Distraction
Staff member
SUPER Site Supporter
Damn, another good point. They just seem really, really nice. And...well...really nice.

Here's a good book for you:

http://www.amazon.com/Why-Hate-Canadians-Will-Ferguson/dp/1550546007

5102K9XC47L._BO2,204,203,200_PIsitb-dp-500-arrow,TopRight,45,-64_OU01_AA240_SH20_.jpg
 

XeVfTEUtaAqJHTqq

Master of Distraction
Staff member
SUPER Site Supporter
Well:smileywac If that is what you like.:puke1:

Dude, all show and no go gets tiring after a while! As a young pup I had more fun south of the border. :coolshade

Of course, strip joints in Canada are generally pretty darn good! :5boobs::boobies:

Anyone heading to Vancouver for the Olympics should stop in and enjoy the shows! Apparently, I am not permitted to visit them anymore so I was lucky enough to get more than my share when I was younger! :tiphat:
 
Top