Probably works best on British cars with Lucas smoke theory electronics
What better way to while away the lazy afternoon hours than with a collection of jokes, anecdotes and humorous diagrams depicting the joys of Lucas electrical systems? Joe Lucas — or, more accurately, the company bearing his name — engineered electrical bits for pretty much everything emanating from the UK, and the notorious unreliability of Lucas components played a key role in tanking the British car industry in the early 1980s. Make the jump for "If Lucas made guns, wars would not start," and other classics.
* The Lucas motto: "Get home before dark."
* Lucas is the patent holder for the short circuit.
* Lucas - Inventor of the first intermittent wiper.
* Lucas - Inventor of the self-dimming headlamp.
* The three position Lucas switch - Dim, Flicker and Off.
* The Original Anti-Theft Device - Lucas Electrics.
* Lucas is an acronym for Loose Unsoldered Connections and Splices
# A friend of mine told everybody he never had any electric problems with his Lucas equipment. Today he lives in the countryside, in a large manor with lots of friendly servants around him an an occasional ice cold shower...
# Back in the 70's, Lucas decided to diversify its product line and began manufacturing vacuum cleaners. It was the only product they offered which did not suck.
# Q: Why do the British drink warm beer? A: Because Lucas makes their refrigerators
# Alexander Graham Bell invented the Telephone.Thomas Edison invented the Light Bulb. Joseph Lucas invented the Short Circuit.
# Recommended procedure before taking on a repair of Lucas equipment: Check the position of the stars,kill a chicken and walk three times clockwise around your car chanting:" Oh mighty Prince of Darkness protect your unworthy servant.."