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Blonde Year in Review

Doc

Bottoms Up
Staff member
GOLD Site Supporter
January - Took her new scarf back to the store because it was too tight.

February - Couldn't work in a pharmacy because the bottles wouldn't fit

into the typewriter.

March - Got excited when she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months because

the box said "2-4 years."

April - Was trapped on an escalator for hours when the power went out.

May - Couldn't make Kool-Aid because 8 cups of water won't fit into those

little packets.

June - Couldn't learn to water ski because she couldn't find a lake with a

slope.

July - After losing in a breast stroke swimming competition, complained to

the judges that the other swimmers were using their arms.

August - Told her blonde friend to hurry when trying to get into their

locked car using a coat hanger because it was starting to rain and the top

was down.

September - When asked what the capital of California was: answered "C."

October - Hates M & M's because they are so hard to peel.

November - Baked a turkey for 4 days because the instructions said 1 hour

per pound and she weighed 120.

December - Couldn't call 911 because there was no "11" on any phone.

 

Junkman

Extra Super Moderator
genuine alligator shoes

A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.

After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!"

The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!"

Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator. Later in the day, the shopkeeper was driving home, when he spotted the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he saw a huge 9-foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She took aim, killed the creature and with a great deal of effort hauled it on to the swamp bank. Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watched in amazement. Just then the blonde flipped the alligator on its back and, frustrated, shouted out, "Damn it, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!"
 

Junkman

Extra Super Moderator
Her car.....
 

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thcri

Gone But Not Forgotten
I wonder if she locked herself out of that car too!!!? And I wonder how long it took her to figure out the top was down.
 
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