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Which one of these are you guilty of?

RoadKing

Silver Member
Site Supporter
* Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?

* Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

* Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

* Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

* Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

* Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

* Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

* Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

* Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

* If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

* Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

* Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

* Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? I do this constantly

* Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

* Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

* How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

* When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"

* Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

* In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

* How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

* The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.
 

Ice Queen

Bronze Member
SUPER Site Supporter
How very true, all of them, most have applied to me at some time or other and the last one in particular - most of my friends are a bit weird, well they have to be, cause I am definitely weird, and I acknowledge it. I suppose I ought to grow up and act my age, but I don't want to. So sod it, I shan't.
 

pirate_girl

legendary ⚓
GOLD Site Supporter
* Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak? I slap mine against my leg-works everytime..

* Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance? haha!! guilty.. I believe it's called determination?? lol

* The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you. NO COMMENT! haha!
 

Snowcat Operations

Active member
SUPER Site Supporter
* When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"


OK now this reminds me an inncodent my Father and I had when I was a younger man. Maybe 14 or so years old at the time.

We were in the grocery store picking up a few items for a fishing trip when we walked by the magazine section. Being men of course we stopped and started looking at a few magazines. We are there a few minutes when we hear this "EXCUSE me" As my dad starts to look over his shoulder as he is moving this woman says EXCUSE ME! This isnt even 1 seconds after the first excuse me! Anyway so my dad says we "im sorry mam" and then she proceeds to say "You know those are for sale and not for reading at the stand" As she puts back a cross word puzzle book back. Her cart is full and she is done with her shopping and reading the Crossword puzzle book. My dad says "like the cross word puzzle book you just put back". As she is leaving she says a smart ass remark but in the next few seconds that remark was lost to me by my dads come back. "You need to go on a DIET" The whole world stopped at that moment. It was like I was in a time shift that got suspended. From that point everything started to happen is very slow motion and slowly speeded up. Her cart stopped as if she hit an invisable wall and ever so slowly (again percieved time was all screwed up) her head turns around. Her slightly chubby eyes sockets are gleaming red. All of a sudden she whipps the cart back around and heads back. I of course am chuckling and my dad is too. She starts yelling at him in an uncomprihensable tone. My dad looks at her and justs laughs. She is getting angrier by the second. My dad turns his back to her and continues to read his magazine. I follow suit and she soons dissapears. We look at ech other and start laughing out loud again. When my dad finishes his mag he throws it into the cart and we take off for the cash register. as we round the corner here she comes with her cart from behind us ranting and raving. I say to her fat people shouldnt get all worked up. you might have a heart attack. I swear she is going to ram us with her cart. My dad and I just ignore her and proceed to the check out line. She gets into the one next to us. People are looking at her and us and are wondering what the hell is this all about. We are laughing and she is screaming. lol the last we heard from her was in the parking lot as we were driving away. OK sorry but that reminded me of that incodent! Oh the memories!:yum:
 
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