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Old 12-16-2006, 07:04 PM
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Default If santa answered his mail honestly

Deer Santa,
>>I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas.
>>I'v ben a gud boy all yeer.
>>
>> Yer Friend, Billy
>>
>>
>>Dear Billy,
>>Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawncare.
>>How about I send you a book so you can learn to read and spell?
>>I'm giving your older brother the space ranger.
>>At least HE can spell.
>>
>> Santa
>>
>>
>>
>>************************************************ *****
>>Dear Santa,
>>I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is
>>peace
>>and joy in the world for everybody!
>> Love, Sarah
>>
>>Dear Sarah,
>>Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?
>>
>> Santa
>>
>>
>>************************************************ ****
>>Dear Santa,
>>I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my
>>mommy and daddy to get back together.
>>Please see what you can do.
>> Love, Teddy
>>
>>Dear Teddy,
>>Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a
>>hurricane.
>>Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your frigid
>>mom,
>>who rides his ass constantly? It's time to give up that dream.
>>Let me send you some Legos instead.
>>
>> Santa
>>
>>
>>************************************************ ****
>>Dear Santa,
>>I want a new bike, a Playstation 2, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog,
>>a
>>drum kit, a pony and a tuba.
>> Love, Francis
>>
>>Dear Francis,
>>Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays. I bet you're gay.
>>I'll set you up with a Barbie.
>>
>> Santa
>>
>>
>>************************************************ ****
>>Dear Santa,
>>I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots
>>for
>>your reindeer outside the back door.
>> Love, Susan
>>
>>Dear Susan,
>>Milk gives me the shits and carrots make the deer fart in my face
>>when
>>riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor?
>>Leave me a bottle of Scotch.
>>
>> Santa
>>
>>************************************************ ****
>>Dear Santa,
>>What do you do the other 364 days of the year?
>>Are you busy making toys?
>> Your friend, Thomas
>>
>>Dear Thomas,
>>All the toys are made in China. I have a condo in Vegas where I
>>spend
>>most of my time making low-budget porno films.
>>I unwind by drinking myself silly and squeezing the asses of
>>cocktail
>>waitresses while losing money at the craps table. Hey, you wanted
>>to
>>know.
>>
>> Santa
>>
>>************************************************ ****
>>Dear Santa,
>>Do you see us when we're sleeping,
>>do you really know when we're awake,
>>like in the song?
>> Love, Jessica
>>
>>Dear Jessica,
>>Are you really that gullible?
>>Good luck in whatever you do.
>>I'm skipping your house.
>>
>> Santa
>>
>>************************************************ ****
>>
>>
>>Dear Santa,
>>I really want a puppy this year. Please, please, please, PLEASE,
>>PLEASE
>>could I have one?
>> Love, Timmy
>>
>>Dear Timmy,
>>That whiney begging shit may work with your folks, but that crap
>>doesn't
>>work with me.
>>You're getting a sweater again.
>>
>> Santa
>>
>>************************************************ ****
>>Dearest Santa,
>>We don't have a chimney in our house.
>>How do you get into our home?
>> Love, Marky
>>
>>Dear Mark,
>>First stop callling yourself "Marky",
>>that's why you're getting your ass whipped at school.
>>Second, you don't live in a house, you live in a low-rent apartment
>>complex.
>>Third, I get inside your pad just like the bogey man does, through
>>your
>>bedroom window.
>>
>>Sweet dreams,
>>Santa
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Old 12-16-2006, 09:55 PM
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Default Re: If santa answered his mail honestly

Quote:
Originally Posted by working woman
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Old 12-18-2006, 07:31 PM
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Default Re: If santa answered his mail honestly

Quote:
Originally Posted by Junkman

smarty! Dont know how I missed that!
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