Forums Forums - Off Topic Forum FUN




Go Back   Forums Forums - Off Topic Forum FUN > Off Topic Forums > Jokes_Forum

Jokes_Forum Jokes and more to tickle your funny bone.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
  #1  
Old 12-18-2007, 11:50 AM
Junkman's Avatar
Junkman Junkman is offline
Extra Super Moderator
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: North of the Equator In N.E. USA
Posts: 5,870
Thanks: 13
Thanked 55 Times in 16 Posts
Junkman is on a distinguished road
Default Dear Santa...........

Deer Santa,
I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. I'v ben a gud boy all yeer.

Yer Friend, Billy
Dear Billy,
Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawncare. How about I send you a book so you can learn to read and spell? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell.
Santa

************************************************** **

Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace and joy in the world for everybody!
Love, Sarah

Dear Sarah,
Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?

Santa

************************************************** **
Dear Santa,
I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do.
Love, Teddy

Dear Teddy,
Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane. Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your frigid mom, who rides his ass constantly? It's time to give up that dream. Let me send you some Legos instead.

Santa

************************************************** **
Dear Santa,
I want a new bike, a Playstation 2, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a drum kit, a pony and a tuba.
Love, Francis

Dear Francis,
Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays. I bet you're gay. I'll set you up with a Barbie.

Santa

************************************************** **
Dear Santa,
I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for your reindeer outside the back door.
Love, Susan

Dear Susan,
Milk gives me the shits and carrots make the deer fart in my face when riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Leave me a bottle of Scotch and tell your Mom to wait up.

Santa

************************************************** **
Dear Santa,
What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making toys?
Your friend, Thomas

Dear Thomas,
All the toys are made in China. I have a condo in Vegas where I spend most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by drinking myself silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses while losing money at the craps table.

Hey, you wanted to know.

Santa

************************************************** **
Dear Santa,
Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're awake, like in the song?
Love, Jessica

Dear Jessica,
Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do. I'm skipping your house.

Santa

************************************************** **
Dear Santa,
I really want a puppy this year. Please, please, please, PLEASE, PLEASE could I have one?
Love, Timmy

Dear Timmy,
That whiney begging shit may work with your folks, but that crap doesn't work with me. You're getting a sweater again.

Santa

************************************************** **
Dearest Santa,
We don't have a chimney in our house. How do you get into our home?
Love, Marky

Dear Mark,
First stop callling yourself "Marky", that's why you're getting your ass whipped at school. Second, yo u don't live in a house, you live in a low-rent apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just like the boogeyman does, through your bedroom window.

Sweet dreams,
Santa
__________________
Supreme Exalted Grand Master
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 12-18-2007, 11:59 AM
REDDOGTWO's Avatar
REDDOGTWO REDDOGTWO is offline
Unemployed Veg. Peddler
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: NORTH DAKOTA-FLORIDA
Posts: 2,540
Thanks: 78
Thanked 39 Times in 23 Posts
REDDOGTWO is on a distinguished road
Default Re: Dear Santa...........

It looks like yoy have getting Santa's mail again Junkman.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Dear Santa... Bobcat Open Forum 28 12-18-2007 10:29 AM
Dear Mary .... Doc Jokes_Forum 0 09-11-2007 02:22 PM
If santa answered his mail honestly working woman Jokes_Forum 2 12-18-2006 07:31 PM
dear husband ......& dear wife Doc Dear Abby Forum 1 09-29-2006 07:05 PM
What do YOU want from Santa? Melensdad Open Forum 20 12-12-2005 09:36 AM





All times are GMT -4. The time now is 07:33 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Copyright 2002 - 2018 www.ForumsForums.com