A true story:

Telephone conversation:
"G'day, is this the police?
"Yes it is. How can we help you sir?"
"I'm calling to make a report about my neighbour, Bazza. I think he's hiding cocaine inside his firewood! Here's his address.........."
"We'll look into it. Thank you very much for the call, sir."
The next day, the police drug squad descends on Bazza's house in great numbers. They search the house and then go to the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood but find no cocaine.
They swear at themselves, apologise to Bazza and leave.
The phone rings at Bazza's house.
"Hey, Bazza. Did the cops come?"
"Yeah mate!"
"Did they chop up all your firewood?"
"Yep!"
"No worries, Happy Birthday, mate!"

The best kind of gift - free!

humor_me said:

The best kind of gift - free!

Click to expand...

Yeah at the tax payers expense Damn freeloaders

I have a friend who was dumping big ole rocks out of his garden area on the Stana Fe Rail Road "right of way" near his home . The right of way is nothing but a bunch of tumble weeds and rocks .
As he is unloading the truck bed of rocks he sees a Stana Fe Railroad Agent's truck headed his way so he figures he better not dump them there and starts putting them back in the truck to find another place to get rid of them . The agent rolls up to him and tells him those are "railroad company rocks" and he can't have them . The agent stands there to make sure my friend dumps all the rocks out of his truck before leaving !!! True story !!!