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The answers

v8dave

Wizard
Health Questions
At last some common sense answers to deep questions:)

HEALTH QUESTION & ANSWER SESSION

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it...don't waste
them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up
your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend
the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.
____________________________________

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and
corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an
efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat
chicken. Beef is also a good source of field
grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your
recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.
____________________________________

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that
means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the
goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!
-----------------------------------------------

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have a body and you have body fat, your ratio is one to one.
If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
____________________________________

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise
program?

A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain..Good
____________________________________

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil..
In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad
for you?
____________________________________

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the
middle?

A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should
only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
____________________________________

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: Are you crazy? HELLO... Cocoa beans ... another vegetable!!! It's the
best feel-good food around!
____________________________________

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
____________________________________

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?

A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!
____________________________________

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about
food and diets. And remember:

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving
safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in
sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - strawberries in the other - body
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming - WOO HOO! What a Ride!"
 

Doc

Bottoms Up
Staff member
GOLD Site Supporter
Funny Stuff!!!!! :) :)

Welcome to our little forum v8Dave. Be sure to pass on some more words of wisdom as you come accross them.
 
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