A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, "Dad, how
many kinds of boobies are there?The father, surprised, answers, "Well,
son, there's three kinds of breasts. In her twenties, a women's breasts
are like melons, round and firm. In her thirties to forties, they are
like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After fifty, they are like
onions." "Onions?" "Yes, you see them and they make you cry."
This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said, "Mom, how
many kinds of 'willies' are there?" The mother, surprised, smiles and
answers, "Well dear, a man goes through three phases. In his twenties,
his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his thirties and
forties, it is a birch, flexible but reliable. After his fifties, it is
like a Christmas tree." "A Christmas tree?" "Yes, dead from the root
up and the balls are for decoration only."