Tools Fools & Follies

Catchy title eh?...now that I have yur undivided attention
I was inspired by Mith ...one back at ya lil brotha ... for this topic idea.
After reading several of his uh...escapades, I thought it might be interesting to share some of mine. The reference to tools is that it applies to any tool, equipment, etc. As for the rest...you figure it out


Several yrs ago, I decided to replace the siding and windows on my home. Since I was stripping down to the bare sheathing, I wanted a clear unobstructed access to the entire wall of each side. One gable wall had a peak of about 28' and was 30' wide. I used 4 pumpjack poles, but the 2 center poles would require me to use upper brkts in the field. This would interfere with my work, so I came up with the idea of using scaffold to support the 2 center poles and not use upper brkts. I'll attach a pic to show what I meant, but the pic is from the setup I used on the back wall for one pole, not the gable wall with 2 poles. It worked like a charm too.

So...fast forward to finishing up the last few siding pieces at the gable peak. Here it was the first week of July, and I had the time off from work. Life couldn't be better...beautiful weather, tunes blasting and not a soul around to bother me. The planks on the pole jacks were at max height (25' or so) and my ext ladder wouldn't quite reach. So I had been using the ladder bars on the scaffold to climb up. I had gotten so used to climbing them, it became second nature.

Away I go, a bundle of siding under one arm, and the other arm I used to pull myself up. Meaning...step up one step at a time, release my grip and then grab the next bar again with the free hand. There was actually a second or two that my hand was not gripping anything. You might think I was nuts...considering hindsight is 20/20...I was!! When I got to the top of the scaffold to climb on the polejack planks...guess what?...yep! I didn't get a good grip on the plank. Since my feet followed in rhythm to my hand, when I stepped up there was nothing holding me and I got a quick lesson in skydiving. ...25' up and down I went!!

It happened wickedly quick, but I remember it clearly. Believe me when I say it...it didn't even come close to the feeling I had on the free ride with the extendahoe. I went down feet first, but somehow I musta tried to grab a bar on the way down or something. I hit the ground face down on my chest. The siding is what probably saved my life. It was still in my other hand and ended up between my chest and the ground, on its edge. All I can say to describe the impact is...THUD!! I was still conscience, but couldn't breath. NOT ONE BREATH!! I do remember for about 2 or 3 seconds if that, that I forcefully tried to inhale and couldn't. and then...lites out!!

I roughly calculated that I was out for at least 1/2 hr. As I regained conscienceness, I heard a whinning sound and it was my G shepard in the house by a window above me. Did she know something happened?? I don't really know, but that was what I first heard. Man I hurt like a mother, but still able to get up. My chest and face hurt like a bitch, but then I noticed my left arm wasn't normal and it hurt like a REAL MOTHER F####R!!! Shit...It was dislocated! I wished I was dead, the pain was so unbearable. and remember...no one was around...not a soul. My wife and daughter were about 45 mins away at her sisters house.

I dragged my azz into the house and sat in the kitchen. Still remember my shepard acting all wierd and stuff. What now I said to myself. Being a thickheaded SOB, I wasn't callin 911. But I'll admit, I was scared shitless...I noticed I wizzed my shorts and wondered if there were any internal injuries. I called my wife and probably gave her a heart attack too. She freaked out and my daughter had to calm her and then find out what happened from me. About 2 hrs after I fell, I finally made it to the ER. The place was packed but I guess my appearence was enough to go straight to the front of the line. The doc didn't even need to xray at that time. He told me after that I was sweating bullets so bad, he knew I was in pain. They loaded me with morphine and he popped my shoulder back in place. Wow what a relief!! I knew it went back in because I could actually feel the color come back in my face after. It was like a warm rush go through my whole body. Xrayed, meds and home I went. The doc told me that my size...6'2" 230#... is what probably made the diff between life and death. Never forgot him telling me that too. I re-lived that THUD for the next few months. That feeling is nothing that can be described unless you been through it. I can't say I saw the 'white light in the tunnel' deal, but it was dam close!! I could be drivin along or doing whatever, and wham....I felt the impact again. Even woke up in the midle of the nite re-living it. It did finally wear off, but took forever.

WOW, what a RUSH!! thinking about that again. I did recover and my arm is about 90% of what it was. Bruised ribs took about 6 months to heal too. I did continue to finish the wall, but not right away. My wife was terrified when she saw me climb back up the first time. I shouldn't laugh, but I did. I've put her through a few hairy ordeals, and this one was the worst.

Here it is 4 am again, and I'm just finishing this. Gawd...it's gonna suck to have to get up in a few hrs for work. I do have a couple more 'escapades' to reveal...one with a dozer and one with a TLB. but nothing even close to this or the extendahoe. Another day, another time. Maybe one of you folks have one to share?? Post it here if you do..............

Nitey nite

ps...here's the scaffold pic

Good post BA. Man, that would have to hurt. How long ago did that happen?

BA, that sounds only too painful! I've unfortunately had my share of injuries, but you remind me of one that was more funny than painful. What does a bundle weigh, 90 pounds or so? If I recall, it takes three bundles to make a square? Anyway, when we were building my house I was (at first) too stupid and cheap to use a ladder jack to get the bundles of roofing up.

As I'd mentioned before, I've always been pretty strong. So, I was grabbing a bundle under each arm and literally "walking" up extension ladders, taking the roofing up on the roof. The two bundles actually seemed to make the balance aspect easier; sort of like the tight rope walker's balance pole. I was getting a bit sore by the end of the 2nd day and deciding that it was almost too much for me, but I was never going to admit it! Anyway, my "incident" happened on the first trip up to the 2nd story. No, I didn't lose my balance. No, I didn't fall...at first.

I guess I should have paid attention to the maximum weight rating on a ladder. At the time, I was still lifting weights heavily and there was about 210 pounds on my 6' frame (with 32" waist pants no less ). Anyway, about half way up, a step just collapsed! It started a chain reaction for other steps, who saw what their brother had done and followed suit. What happened was the first step formed a "V" and pinched the sh** out of my foot, holding it there. The roughly 5 or so other steps that decided to follow suit pinched the sh** out of my knees, pinning them into the ladder. Believe it or not, at this point, I still had not fallen or even dropped either bundle of roofing! I did let out a loud yell in obvious pain, and a few choice words. I was not alone, and there were about a half dozen guys on the roof.

You should have seen the look on their faces that I saw that brief instant I looked up! They saw me halfway up the ladder, still holding 2 bundles of roofing, but with the ladder pinched together holding me in place and screaming. It then struck me that the extra weight of the two bundles were creating more pressure on the pinch, so I gave them a pitch; in front of me. Oops! Who was it that said that every action has an opposite and equal reaction? Damn if he wasn't right! Tossing those bundles in front of me launched me and the ladder backwards. My luck was that I fell backwards onto a large pile of dirt that was from the basement dig and had not been spread out yet. So, my fall really wasn't nearly as far as yours. However, it still smarted and knocked the wind out of me when I hit on my back.

It took a few seconds for me to come to my senses and realize that this ladder from hell still had me in a death grip by my right foot and both knees. Anyway, I can tell you that a fairly large guy who is really pissed off can do a number on an aluminum ladder! Let's just say that it wasn't going to be able to be fixed afterwards. I fared much better, only a bruised foot and bruised knees. But, damn that was weird!

Okay, obviously nothing like your fall, but I think you can see how your story reminded me of my experience with the attack extension ladder. I'm glad to hear that you survived without life threatening injuries. Me? I now use ladder jacks for roofing and always buy the expensive heavier rated extension ladders.

Damn guys.. that reminds me of a fall(that I have no memory of) that my mother told me.

I was young skinny kid that loved to climb trees.. guess I was up pretty high in a good size tree. My mother told me she came out of the house to find me laying on the ground, face & head covered in blood, she thought I was dead. Apparently I landed chin first on one those large(painted white) rocks that people have in there yards.. and also picked up an ear piercing branch on the way down.

I've just never remembered anything about it.. I remember my sister hitting me in the head from behind w/ a shovel(my brother said it was a full swing.. he said he heard the shovel go.. ding!).. I remember my brother & his friends knocking me out by throwing rocks at me at the bottom of a hill.

Guys.. we are lucky.. 75% of people die falling one story onto concrete.. my sister broke her back & arm from that exact fall in her new house being built several years ago.

I do my best not to fall any more..

No tools involved but............On wednesday evenings, my wife works till 7pm. I get my kids (boy 9, & girl 8) at the neighbors at 5:30 & come home to fix supper. it's mid february and a nice (by ohio standards) evening and the kids want to play outside while I get the food ready. (4" of snow on the ground. ) They get a couple sleds & start playing along the driveway (everythings cool at this point...we have a long drive with a dip in the middle, way off the road). I'm making spagetti with browned hamburger, cooking the noodles, broiling fresh garlic bread etc. I check on the kids , telling them to do their dog chores etc. About 5 minutes later I look out to check again, only to see my son with a baseball bat throw a ball into the air & take a swing. He had asked my daughter to hold his gloves for him & she was on her knees holding them directly behind him in the backyard. I look out at the exact time to see him miss the ball & hit her directly square in the forehead.(did I mention he plays a lot of LL baseball & is very athletic) I race out , cussing my boy & talking to my daughter, while trying to keep her calm, & asking her questions to keep her talking. I carry her into the house while trying to reach my wife at work on the phone, place a sizzling pan of hamburger in tha fridge, along with a pot of boiling noodles, shut the oven off , decide to drive at light speed to the ER to save time. I get my wifes' voice fr**king mail as they don't answer the phone after 5pm. Still talking to my daughter to keep her cognitive, we're flying into the ER in my truck with a bag of ice on her head. when we get there, she looks as tho she has a baseball under the skin on her forehead( who would think it could swell THAT much ?) The receptionist immediately takes us to the exam room(fastest service ever, & tells me we'll do paperwork later) Seems like kids with head injuries may get priorty treatment !! She was taking it fairly well & the doctor tested her & it turns out she had no serious injuries. Since she was on her knees she fell back when it happened into the snow........being somewhat off balance helped out & lessened the damage. she stayed off school the rest of the week & she looked like a raccoon with the double black eyes she ended up with. the whole ordeal scared the sh*** out of me though !! It was like slow motion..............I could see it happening, but couldn't stop it.

Heh....brothers and sisters can be like that. I remember on time as a kid, me and my sister decided to shovel the snow off my aunts car (yes, shovel...the good ol' aluminum shovels with the steel cutting edge). We couldn't reach all the way accross the car, so we stood on either side and pushed the shovel accross the hood. My sister pushed too hard, and the shovel slipped out of her hands, skidded on the ice, and the cutting edge got me straight between the eyes on the bridge of my nose. Instant blood everywhere, me screaming and my entire family running out of the house to find me on my ass in the middle of a pile of bright red bloody snow.

I think my mom almost had a heart attack.

Turns out it was really only a small cut, bled like hell. Not even any stitches. Face wounds bleed very profusely.

What hurt more was the beating we got the next day for shoveling snow off the car!

Tough beans guys, pretty nasty stuff

Glad to say that most of my 'adventures' dont include much pain, usually just stupid.

Just now, I got home and went into the shed, fired up the tractor and took it for a jaunt round in the mud (about 4-8'' deep and very watery) About 5 mins in I noticed that one side had 2 bolts sticking out an attachment point with a plate hanging on it, the bolts had no nuts (ahem ) on. The other side of the tractor had no plate and no bolts.
So theres me wading about in the mud trying to find the plate and the bolts (some serious bits of metal, hard to replace). It seriously cold here and I was dressed for a quick 5 mins out there. It took me 30 mins to realise that I wasnt gunna find the plate and bolt in the mud and leaves. They were painted yellow and all the fallen leaves are yellow, besides theyve been churned in by the tractor.
I drive the tractor back to the shed wondering what to do, on the shed floor there is a nice bolt and a plate DUH, never put that side on Moron! cold and wet and muddy

BA, cant wait to hear bout the extendahoe and dozer

Doc said:

Good post BA. Man, that would have to hurt. How long ago did that happen?

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Hurt?? not have as bad as my sorry azz feels right now...why am I sooooo tired

It happened in 2000 or 01...? Trust me IT HURT!! During the recovery period, my DW(dearest wife) had to take care of me...I was in rough shape. Between her and my daughter, I don't know who was worse...they kept telling me "men are nothing but a bunch of babies" My Dw also added...if you guys knew how painful it is to have a baby, you wouldn't complain as much". She also had to rub it in a little more and said..."don't worry about dying, only the GOOD die young"

Dargo said:

Anyway, about half way up, a step just collapsed! It started a chain reaction for other steps, who saw what their brother had done and followed suit. What happened was the first step formed a "V" and pinched the sh** out of my foot, holding it there. The roughly 5 or so other steps that decided to follow suit pinched the sh** out of my knees, pinning them into the ladder..

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Damn...an alum job buckled? I never even gave it a thought when I would hump 2 bundles of Arch'ies on my shoulder(prior to the fall) up 2 stories. I'll remember that if I ever do it it again...thanks. Pretty freaky feelin when yur on yur way down, eh?

Thanks for sharin too

kensfarm said:

I was young skinny kid that loved to climb trees..
Guys.. we are lucky..
..

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Lucky is right on the mark...you just rminded me of when I was just a young punk. Hopped out of a tree and when I landed...my mouth was open, tongue hanging out, and my knee hit my chin! Damn lucky I didn't bite my tongue clean off. Bled like a stuffed pig too
Thanks for sharin.....

TOMLESCOEQUIP said:

No tools involved but............. the whole ordeal scared the sh*** out of me though !! It was like slow motion..............I could see it happening, but couldn't stop it.

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Dang Tom...it's one thing when it happens to us. But to your child ...and to see it happen? YIKES!!! what a horror that musta been. Glad she survived. I know that 'slow motion feeling" too

Thanks...

DaveNay said:

Turns out it was really only a small cut, bled like hell. Not even any stitches. Face wounds bleed very profusely.

What hurt more was the beating we got the next day for shoveling snow off the car!

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OUCH...yur lucky you didn't lose an eye!
ahhh...the good ol days of gettin a beating. I had my share and to think today if someone does that...CLINK...your behind bars
Thanks

Mith said:

.
I drive the tractor back to the shed wondering what to do, on the shed floor there is a nice bolt and a plate DUH, never put that side on Moron! cold and wet and muddy

BA, cant wait to hear bout the extendahoe and dozer

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Why'd I know you'd show up here

ROTFLMFFAO... BTDT many times

Did you see the one I already posted with the extendajob? It's in Junks place...heavy haulers II

Well folks, thanks for sharing. I hope to hear some more too. I'll post my other ones in the near future. Have to gat back to work...didn't make it in til 10am and after blowin 1/2 the day yesterday here, I NEED to get some work done for a change!!

Later for now

Nope didnt see it yet, read it in a bit, need a dump thens its time

Here's mine! No tools either, unless a stick could be called a tool

I was about 11 when this happened.
As I was the oldest, I seemed to always get the dirty jobs, and my brothers would always rub it in. One of my duties to humanity, was to scoop up all the dog crap in the back yard. My next youngest brother started giving me shit over it. Well, I picked up a stick, and stuck doggiedoodoo on the end of it, and started chasing him around the yard with it. We lived in an old house that had one of those outside entranes to the basement. The door was wide open, as my mother was doing laundry down there. My brother ran down the steps with me close behind. I got halfway down when I slid backwards on the stairs and brainpanned the back of my head on the concrete steps. Yep, 8 stitches latter I'm back at home. I think the thing that shocked me the most was my mother in one of religous moments said,"See, Gods paying you back for being an asshole!" Oh well, never chased my brothers again with shit on a stick. Although I have thought about on occasion.

johnday said:

"See, Gods paying you back for being an asshole!".

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I wonder if that's why I've had so many follies
'Brainpanned'...sweet and I like it
have to remember it too

Here's a pic of the gable wall where I fell. No pics with the scaffold setup there cuz I didn't have a camera at the time. Now that I have both a digital and cell phone camera, I realize how priceless those Kodak Moments really were.

Good stories guys I feel your pain... Now here's one I'll share,

Back when I was a lot younger and a lot stupider I used to ride snowmobiles. Had several buddies that I rode with in the winter on a regular basis. One night Al and I were bored riding on the streets of Akron so he suggested that since I had a new ride we should get on the runway at Akron Municipal Airport and have a little race. Hell I wasn't gonna turn down any challange so away we headed to the airport.

At the time Akron Municipal Airport was a controlled airstrip and the tower was on high ground with real good visibility of the runways. It was a dark ass night with lots of wet snow piling in so we figured there whould be little or no air traffic, at least planes that was.

So Al and I get to the far end of the longest runway and wait for a start.Once he yells we both go to full throttle. Well my sled was way out ahead of Al's when all of a sudden the tower hits me in the face with a high intensity light gun. I about shit my pants and thought it was a f***ing plane coming in for a landing strainght at me. The only thing that came to my mind was to keep the power on and so I did until I hit a solid ice hump that had been created by the snowplows keeping the runways clear.

When I hit that snow that had frozen into a ramp of sorts I was airborn and gaining altitude. Guess I musta whimped out cause I bailed off the sled and remember coming straight down headfirst on the hard frozen ground. WHUMP, and it was all over.

About that time Al comes up and I remember him asking me if I was OK. I told him to get my f***ink helmet and gloves off me so I could see if I was still alive but he was more concerned with the fact that the tower may have called the police and yhat they might be on their way. He was also laughing at me because my sled came down on its track and made a good landing without me.

He somehow got me back on the sled and we made it back to the truck before we decided to visit the Akron General Hospital. After a few x-rays they made me stay as a guest for a few days. Turns out I came away with a broken collar bone, a couple of broken ribs, and a punctured lung. And it hurt like a bitch for months afterwards.

Did I say that I don't do snowmobiles anymore? Now we've moved on to big, heavy tractors. You know the kind that can't possibly hurt you.

Wow Mike! I felt every bit of that!! Ow,Ow,OW!!!

PineRidge said:

Turns out I came away with a broken collar bone, a couple of broken ribs, and a punctured lung. And it hurt like a bitch for months afterwards.

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OUCH
I felt that too!!

Thanks for sharing...I knew there had to be more

I did a pretty dumb thing a few years ago . We were replacing a canopy on a shipping dock . It was 17' under the eaves . 21 feet to the top . I had the ladder in what I thought was a secure position . Being tired ,I put one foot on the top wrung and one knee on the metal of the canopy to reach some of the metal flashing. Next thing I knew I was earth bound . The only thing that saved me was I was able to grab the ladder . It didn't stop my fall, but kept me from hitting head first . Some guy ran over and asked "are You alright ? "
I think that it pissed me off so bad ,that I didn't go into shock .
The worst part was one of the 2" screws I was carrying in my tool belt went into my elbow . Other than one knee that is still kind of semi numb to this day ,no real side effects .

I'm gonna play LBrown here and kick around an old thread.

Is a washing machine a tool? If so, listen up.
A number of years ago, I had to do some laundry. I needed some clean work clothes. I felt like being a nice guy for some reason, and since I didn't have a full load, I threw some towels and one of my wifes expensive sweaters in at the same time. The machine did it's thing, and then I loaded the dryer. The dryer did it's thing. When unloading from the dryer, I found out that the expensive sweater
had shrunk to about poodle size. We a had one of the itty bitty poodles at the time, so I attempted to cover up my screw up, by dressing the little yapper in the sweater. Looked kinda cute in a twisted way. I was still laughing when the ex got home and told me it was a nice thing I'd done for the dog. All went well, as I wasn't talking, until she went looking for that sweater!!
Thats how I learned if you screw something up bad enough, you can sometimes get people to do it themselves!

johnday said:

Thats how I learned if you screw something up bad enough, you can sometimes get people to do it themselves!

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Hey John, I did the laundry yesterday. Sort of. I was out in the garage and the washing machine repair guy showed up. I went in the house, got the dogs and tossed them in the yard. Let the guy in. He fixed the machine. I paid him. He left and I let the dogs back in.

I figure I did my share of laundry for at least a year with the efforts I just expended.

Bob; You da MAN!!