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  #1  
Old 01-25-2014, 11:19 AM
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Default Considering adopting



The missus and I have 4 children combined. Yet, we are preparred to open our home to another 1-2 children. Our thoughts are to become foster parents with the option of adopting. We are just in the beginning stages at this point.
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Old 01-25-2014, 01:12 PM
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Default Re: Considering adopting

you give Big Al a bad time about owning krustys . but with that many kids under one roof you are looking for an early committal to the funny farm. that said congrats to giving a kid in need a home.
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Old 01-25-2014, 02:53 PM
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Default Re: Considering adopting

After two kids, the rest is just bonus. They all keep themselves occupied for the mostpart. The younger two play upstairs. Older two downstairs. Works good.
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Old 01-25-2014, 03:51 PM
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Default Re: Considering adopting

Good luck with that. I hope it works out for the better for you guys.
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Old 01-25-2014, 08:04 PM
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Default Re: Considering adopting

awesome, & congrats! my friend's fostering-to-adopt, too- thier biological toddler & their new kiddo should soon be siblings.
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Old 05-03-2014, 10:41 PM
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Default Re: Considering adopting

Just a little update. We started our course which prepares us to become foster parents. Everyone up here has to go through the same ten week course whether they are planning on adopting or just fostering. It's a lengthy process.

I'm not worried though about the training. So far, from what I can tell, I could teach the course. I do work in the field after all. It is interesting though being on the other side of the coin for a change. It would be akin to a doctor going to see another doctor for a medical condition.

How the process for us works is that I can't become a foster parent for the agency I work for since it would be a conflict of interest. I work for one of the Aboriginal Children's Aide Societies up here.(there are two) There's also the regular CAS. We can foster for the other aboriginal society or the regular one but not for the one I work for. So it leaves options.
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Old 05-04-2014, 08:50 PM
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Default Re: Considering adopting

Very cool! You da man Groomer!!!
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Old 02-16-2015, 04:30 PM
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Default Re: Considering adopting

Time for another update. We completed the training back in June but told the agency we were not prepared yet to take on any other children over the summer since we were preparing for our wedding in august. Fast forward to this past weekend. We got our first two foster children for a weekend visit to give their mother a break. The kids were great! We ended up having a joint birthday swimming party for out two oldest children at a local pool. Made for a good activity to include the foster children. They had a great time. If all works out, we will be having these two children come to spend one weekend a month with us. I think that's a good start to get our feet wet as foster parents.
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Old 01-07-2016, 08:12 PM
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Default Re: Considering adopting

Here's another thing my accident affected. We had to take a break from fostering for a while but are back at er now. We have a new temporary addition to our family effective today. We were contacted at noon and had a 6 yr old girl brought to us for a semi permanent placement. It's too soon to tell but she'll be with us for at least a month. maybe longer. Our daughter is thrilled to have another girl to play with.

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Old 01-08-2016, 03:24 PM
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Default Re: Considering adopting

Thank you Brian for fostering these young souls....another reason for me to admire you.

You make the world a better place hence your time was not up
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Old 01-09-2016, 12:28 AM
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Default Re: Considering adopting

It's a pleasure to be able to do this. Our kids are great with it too. So we have our new addition now and she's settled in nicely. We have a few issues to work on and things to watch out for over the next week or so. Breaks my heart to see what some people expose their children to.

Oh yes.......we also have another addition to our house. Before we found out about this child we have now we had agreed to another child coming to stay with us every second weekend. She also came today.


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Old 01-13-2016, 09:54 PM
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Default Re: Considering adopting

So we now have two little girls staying with us. One comes to us every second weekend and returns home on sundays. The second little girl is a different story. At first all they could tell us is that she would be with us for at least a month. Now, it's looking more like a minimum six months and most likely longer. We are very happy to have her with us. It's sad hearing what she has been through so far but also rewarding to see her settle in and be a kid again. It's a great feeling to be able to provide a loving stable home for this girl. Just today, we got a little info on one incident that happened a while back when she had to call 911 because her mother was basically comatose from a drug overdose. Very sad. So unless mom gets her shit together in short order and turns her life around, there is a possibility that this little girl could be here for the long haul.

I know how the system works as it's what I do. When a child comes into care the worker meets with the parents and has them sign what is called a "temporary care agreement" or "TCA". That agreement basically says that they will do this, that, and etc.... in order to have their child returned to them. Once that period of time is up, they have the option of either challenging it in court or signing another agreement with the agency. These agreements can go on for up to a year. After that, the agency can apply to the courts to have the child become a ward of the crown or "crown ward". Once the child becomes a crown ward, he or she has a strong likelyhood of becoming adoptable.

Now, aboriginal agencies like I work for have another option. They can choose to enter into a "Customary care agreement" or "CCA" which can either be short term or long term. This keeps the case out of the court system and basically stops the clock allowing the parents more time to do what they have to do to get the kids back. If they choose to challenge this then the agency simply brings it to court and the child becomes a crown ward. Both the CCA and crown ward order last until the child reaches the age of 18 at which time they are considered an adult. Both ways have their pluses and minuses. Being a crown ward means the child has the chance at permanency. However, being a CCA allows the possibility of the family to be reunited down the road.

With all that being said, this little girl placed with us could end up being adoptable down the road. We'll see what happens. But for now, we are just enjoying being able to open our home to a child in need.
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Old 01-18-2016, 12:34 AM
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Default Re: Considering adopting

That's her beside our youngest. Would you believe that they are only months apart in age. She's a sweetheart. She fit in perfectly at our house. You can tell the kind of upbringing she's had though as at 6 years old she often acts more like a twelve year old and is always looking out for others. I guess that's what happens when your mother is addicted to Crack cocaine. So far we haven'tseen any physical effects from the exposure to the stuff.



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Old 01-18-2016, 12:54 AM
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Default Re: Considering adopting

Brian, you and your wife and children are very special people to open your
lives to someone so in need of love and care.

God bless you.
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Old 01-18-2016, 11:55 AM
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Default Re: Considering adopting

Thanks. We like to do what we can to help others

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Old 01-23-2016, 08:52 PM
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Default Re: Considering adopting

So a little update. The girl we have full time is working out great. The temp girl we have on every second weekend is quite a different story. We feel sorry for her. She is very very attached to her mother and does nothing but cry for her the whole time. There's 5 kids but she's the only one removed every second weekend. At 5 years old she basically walks all over her mother all of the time. I can't blame her though. Her mother lets her get away with it. We don't put up with the constant whining and crying here. She just needs stability and consistency.

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Old 01-31-2016, 09:19 AM
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Default Re: Considering adopting

That's really sad. Maybe the girl can still change? I mean, she's just 5 years old. I'm not sure how though if her mother lets her get away with everything. But God Bless you and your family for being a blessing to these kids. I hope there are others like you.
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Old 02-05-2016, 07:46 AM
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Default Re: Considering adopting

Looks like we were right about the part time girl we had coming to the house every second weekend. The parents are finally realizing the damage they are doing to her and are reevaluating their request to place her into care every second weekend. I mean. How can a mother line up her children and point to the 5 year old girl and say "I can't handle you so you're going somewhere else for the weekend. This girl is the perfect example of poor parenting. She's good when she comes here and listens well.

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Old 07-20-2016, 10:59 PM
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Default Re: Considering adopting

Here we are almost six and a half months after getting our first full time foster child. She may be returning to her dad very soon. Mom and dad aren't officially together and he has his poop in a group so to speak. She was previously living with her mother before coming to us. So all the focus has been on getting her to go to her dad's care. This may happen as soon as tomorrow or friday.

What can I say about our experience thusfar? It has been an absolute joy to have her here with us. She took to calling us mom and dad. We had the talk with her and explained that she is right in a way. To her, we are foster mom and foster dad. To my wife's children I am step dad. To my son she is step mom. So mom and dad can mean different things to different people.

She has fit in perfectly with our family. We've made a big impact in her life. We are going to miss her when she goes.

Looking forward, since we originally got into this to hopefully have a child which is adoptable. All everyone keeps saying is that there are so many kids out there looking for their forever home and a family who will love them. This may be partially true but from what I can tell many are trapped in a system which can often hold them back for years from finding permanency. With that said, we spoke to our worker at the agency and even she said that it doesn't actually happen too often when a child comes in that is adoptable.

So with all that being said, my wife and I agreed to start searching other sources and speaking with actual adoption agencies that specialize in adoption. We have a meeting with one this week regarding a potential adoptable little girl. At this point it's just gathering information. We shall see.

To those who think we a crazy because we already have four children, I tell them that after 2 children, it's just another potato in the pot at supper. We already have 4 children. One more is not much more work. It takes a great deal of commitment combined with a lot of structure and routine in the home. Because our daughter has severe adhd, we have a set routine for her in order to allow her to reach her full potential. All of the other children benefit from this.
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Old 07-21-2016, 07:29 AM
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Default Re: Considering adopting

Damn it Brian, now I can't see the screen.
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