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Old 03-17-2015, 09:12 PM
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Talking 747 forced to turn around because someone made a very smelly poop!

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http://www.vice.com/en_ca/read/someo...d-and-land-475

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A British Airways flight was forced to turn around and land over the weekend because somebody did a shit so bad the plane was essentially rendered useless. Imagine living your life in the knowledge that you once turded so appallingly that a 747-400 had to turn around and land. Your liquid shit bought a £360-million ($533-million) airplane juddering out of the sky. Imagine looking your loved ones in the face after that. Imagine hugging your mom. You couldn't. Your asshole is essentially a terrorist.


Anyway, the BA flight from Heathrow to Dubai on Saturday had to turn around and flop back down again at Heathrow just 30 minutes into the seven-hour flight because somebody did a toilet crime.

Hertsmere Tory councillor Abhishek Sachdev—who has clearly not heard the "he who smelt it, dealt it" directive—happened to be on the flight, and, as well as tweeting his response ("Insane! Our BA flight to Dubai returned back to Heathrow because of a smelly poo in the toilet! 15hrs until next flight... #britishairways") also spoke to the Daily Mail about the ordeal. Again: imagine making a smell so bad a Tory councillor talks to a national paper about it.

"The pilot made an announcement requesting senior cabin crew, and we knew something was a bit odd," he said. "About 10 minutes later he said, 'You may have noticed there's a quite pungent smell coming from one of the toilets.'

"He said it was liquid fecal excrement. Those are the words he used."

Two things:

i. The informed knowledge of the liquid state of the turd in question sort of suggests the pilot actually went and looked at the mess himself, and, in which case, did he hold his special pilot's hat over his nose?

ii. This question always comes up when someone does a shit so appalling that it might as well not be human. We've all seen a bad shit. We've all been to a pub. We've all traveled on a bus at least once in our lives. Everybody in Britain, at some point, has had to piss at a train station. We've all lifted a toilet seat and, like Pandora's Box, stared into the abyss-like doom of someone else's medically inadvisable droppings. But the question is this: how, and more specifically why, is it possible to shit up and around the rim of a toilet and, side-question, how does one shit up a wall?

Ask me to shit up a wall and I would not know where to start. If I was trying, I do not think I could shit along a vertical pane. But there are people out there who seem to manage it on the regular. Do they go to the doctor immediately after? When you "deposit" something so forcefully that it ricochets right back out again, do you go straight to A&E and say, like, "Hello, doctor, something is very wrong with me," or do you, like, try and walk it off? Also, why does this always happen in public toilets?

Anyway, the flight was rescheduled for the next day, and British Airways made a statement saying, "We're very sorry for the discomfort to our customers," before providing everyone on the flight—including the rogue shitter, presumably, whoever they may be—with overnight hotel accommodation.

Safe travels, rogue shitter. Peace be with your lower intestine.

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Old 03-18-2015, 12:45 PM
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Default Re: 747 forced to turn around because someone made a very smelly poop!

Somebody had a bad case of Diarrhea and did not get to the head soon enough, but had their pants down. Spray painted the walls and everything else with that rear-end Binks gun.

Just my guess.

The head is a vacu-flush type unit and of shat into it, it will be flushed away by vacuum never to be smelled again until discharged on the ground.
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Old 03-18-2015, 12:56 PM
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Default Re: 747 forced to turn around because someone made a very smelly poop!



$h-ttiest flight they ever had.
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Old 03-18-2015, 02:39 PM
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Default Re: 747 forced to turn around because someone made a very smelly poop!

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Originally Posted by NorthernRedneck View Post


-ttiest flight they ever had.
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Old 03-18-2015, 04:45 PM
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Default Re: 747 forced to turn around because someone made a very smelly poop!

Admit it. You are all envious!
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Old 03-18-2015, 07:02 PM
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Default Re: 747 forced to turn around because someone made a very smelly poop!

I wonder which of the ground crew personnel pulled the short straw to clean up the hazodorous flight-ending mess? Or, if not a short straw, what means was used to make such an important deployment of human resources?

Bummer for the poor slob.
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Old 03-18-2015, 11:20 PM
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Default Re: 747 forced to turn around because someone made a very smelly poop!

http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=...C6D8416CFA24F2
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Old 03-19-2015, 12:53 AM
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Default Re: 747 forced to turn around because someone made a very smelly poop!

Rick Joly · Northern College of Applied Arts and Technology

Guess someone was trying to sneak in a weapon of ass destruction aboard!!!!!!!

^ liked and lol'd
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Old 03-19-2015, 04:13 AM
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Default Re: 747 forced to turn around because someone made a very smelly poop!

If we turned back every middle eastern destined plane that had a bad smell on it the UK would be fucked big time
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